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Dear Mummy, - OS.

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..KaJenDelena..

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..KaJenDelena..

Joined: 09 November 2010

Posts: 726

Posted: 11 August 2012 at 4:15am | IP Logged

Dear Mummy,

I was always stubborn, wasn't I? I did things you told me not to. Broke all the rules, fought everything... even you. I am sorry. I didn't care back then. I had enough. I didn't want to live, to breathe, to digest this cruel, cold world. It was too cold, mummy.

I had seen you bring those guys, sneak them in when you thought I was asleep. I could smell the alcohol in your breath when you spoke. I could see the drugs flame up in your eyes when you looked at me. I had heard you cry at night... for daddy. You know the worst part was? I knew you did all because of me. To feed me, to educate me, to help me survive, live. I could not live with their money.

I am sorry, mummy.

I am sorry I left you. I am sorry that I didn't care. I am sorry that I am selfish. I am sorry that I wasn't the child you wanted. I am sorry that I am useless... that I couldn't help you.I had told you that I won't come back, that I don't need you... that I will never need you. I had lied. I am not perfect. I was only 17, mummy. I needed to get away. Escape.

I lived with my friends. I learnt to smile again, to laugh again, to live again. Things were getting better, normal. That's when I met him. He was kind. Unlike anyone I had known before. He made me laugh, smile, cry, sad, happy, excited, nervous, crazy & sometimes all at once. We talked for most of the day and I would spend most of the night thinking about him. I was only 17, mommy, I didn't know better. My mind told me to be careful, but I was only 17. I didn't know better.

I fell in love.

I am not perfect. I never was. But mummy when I am with him, I feel like I am. My heart jumps when he is around me. I get nervous... happy. Not the kind you hear in the movies or read in books but the kind you felt around daddy. That's the best way I can explain it. I had seen your eyes go a shade lighter and your cheeks a shade darker around daddy. I feel like that mummy, just the way you did.

He makes me forget. Forget the fact that I am the reason you're so unhappy. Forget the fact that daddy is never coming back. Forget the fact that I am nobody. He is not a saint but he is my saviour.

It's been 6 years now since I have known him... loved him. My friends say he is perfect. I know he is not. He gets jealous & angry too easily and cares too much. You could say, in a lot of ways he is like daddy. He yells, he says hurtful things, lies... but at the end of the day he comes back, holds me, and tells me he is sorry, that I am the best thing that has happened to him. I cradle in his arms, hold him close and forgive him, just like the way he does when I yell, lie and say hurtful things to him... just like the way you did with daddy.  

Yesterday, he asked me to marry him. Just like that, out of the blue, and... I said yes. I didn't think; the word just came out with it so did the purge of feelings that I didn't know existed. I know you don't care now. I don't blame you.

But mummy, your little girl is getting married and she hopes you can give her away. She hopes you can forgive her.She hopes you can come to her wedding, to fluff her wedding dress and to tell her she looks beautiful. She hopes you could bring something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.  She hopes you can hug her and tell her you love her...

because she loves you.

Won't you come? Please.

Your little girl.

Haven't checked for grammer, and spelling mistakes. Sorry. Hope you enjoy it!



Edited by ..KaJenDelena.. - 11 August 2012 at 4:09pm

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NinaArief

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NinaArief

Joined: 10 January 2012

Posts: 418

Posted: 11 August 2012 at 12:06pm | IP Logged
res
unres..
aww so many kids go through such terrible childhoods and see such things right in their own houses, i cannot even begin to imagine the trauma, and the courage it takes to overcome it. and to love such kids is the only way to help them.
plus a parent's pain, they would do anything for their children. absolutely anything.
loved the happiness on the sad backdrop.  a little dramatic, but real enough to feel and superbly written.


Edited by NinaArief - 12 August 2012 at 6:13am

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Ameres

IF-Sizzlerz

Ameres

Joined: 28 March 2008

Posts: 21631

Posted: 11 August 2012 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
Excellent piece of writing once again! It was very poignant, the relationship of a mother and kid is the beautiful one in this world but at times circumstances are not in our control and the relationships get broken. But I guess no matter what a mother is always a mother and loves her children. 
There was desperation in there yet some hope too. Very touching. Keep writing more. :))

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..KaJenDelena..

Senior Member

..KaJenDelena..

Joined: 09 November 2010

Posts: 726

Posted: 11 August 2012 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Ameres

Excellent piece of writing once again! It was very poignant, the relationship of a mother and kid is the beautiful one in this world but at times circumstances are not in our control and the relationships get broken. But I guess no matter what a mother is always a mother and loves her children. 
There was desperation in there yet some hope too. Very touching. Keep writing more. :))
 
Thank you Ameres! You are too kind. I am glad it was worth your time ;) 

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-Dee-

IF-Dazzler

-Dee-

Joined: 22 August 2011

Posts: 3388

Posted: 13 August 2012 at 4:17am | IP Logged
This is so pretty - a little dramatic yes but pretty indeed. And what is life without a little drama. I love the fact there's more than a tinge of reality here and an understanding that nothing's prefect.

You write wonderfully, Priyanka Smile

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..KaJenDelena..The.Patthaaka.-Rashi

The.Patthaaka.

IF-Sizzlerz

The.Patthaaka.

Joined: 15 September 2008

Posts: 17989

Posted: 26 January 2013 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
Awww,this is so beautifully written.

I have a thing for stories which are stuffed with strong emotions Embarrassed 

The beauty of his piece was the fact that you tried to describe about a mother-daughter relationship in the most delicate way possible.

It was truly well written.

Don't know why,but when i finished reading it,I just wished it had a 2nd part,where you'd describe the mother's feelings towards her daughter? Embarrassed that would have been nice.

One more highlight,you very well described how this innocent little girl understood her parents love for each other,so innocently Embarrassed

This was one masterpiece indeed Thumbs Up

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..KaJenDelena...Optimism.-Rashi

.Optimism.

IF-Sizzlerz

.Optimism.

Joined: 16 October 2012

Posts: 11033

Posted: 21 July 2013 at 10:54am | IP Logged
BEAUTIFUL..!!!!

no wrds... u wrote something so strong dat it juz reached d bottom of my heart..

exceptionally realistic concept nd perfectly described..

brilliant..

thnx for d OS..

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..KaJenDelena..

-StephinesS-

IF-Sizzlerz

-StephinesS-

Joined: 08 November 2012

Posts: 21200

Posted: 05 August 2013 at 3:34am | IP Logged
WoW! this is beautifully written :) I could almost see it happening! :)
Keep up the good work! :)

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..KaJenDelena..

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