Posted: 10 August 2012 at 7:19am | IP Logged
Shoot, I am all controversial today.
Either I am not being clear, or I am just wrong, either way:
@Red: I agree that Aarti wants to be loved the way Yash loved Arpita, but I think that she is last on her list of priorities and so she is not actively pursuing her own ends in this relationship. Even if she wants Yash to fall in love with her she wants that for him, for the kids, for his family and then lastly for herself. So the love she is pursuing at the moment is not the love she actually wants, to my eyes, it is the love that Gayatri and the rest of the family want to see, a love where Aarti brings back the old Yash. So through her conscious efforts, she is bringing out his playful and more loquacious side.
And I have to continue to disagree on the topic of Aarti knowing love. First of all, in all her life that we know of, considering she is an orphan, she has never been in a relationship where she gets as much as she gives to it, and I think she is ok with that because she is the kind of person who is happy to give and give and give. What I was trying to say is that she does not know what it feels like to be loved with the intensity that she loves. She doesn't know what it is to be on the receiving end, and as much as she can see and want, she doesn't know what it really is.
Of course Aarti is not innocent, but I just don't think she realises she is a card she can play. The bangles were like a win-win for her. She got her bangles and Yash woke up to the rivaz because of his OCD. This is the kind of thing that is going to impress Gayatri. They have never understood their son, and I think if he acts like Aarti's husband through these customs, they will be content for a while until the lack of pota making becomes too obvious.
@Ria: I agree that Aarti is not his only source of joy, but I am saying he was drawn to those things in the first place because of Aarti. He never would have stopped working of Aarti didn't threaten to leave, done pottery if Aarti hadn't said that the kids' and her happiness lay in his, he never would have come over to the swing if Aarti hadn't called and included him. I agree that pottery did make him happy, but Aarti was the root cause of that, by making him do pottery, and that is where I think she is underestimating her own role, where he is not. He is fully aware of the things she is doing for him when she does not expect to be recognised as the instigator.
The reason I think her love for Yash is similar to her love for Prashant is because she is using the martyr argument as a defense mechanism against rejection in both. I completely agree that she loved Prashant out of a sense of duty and loyalty and because her principles did not allow her to move on. She sort of followed the rhetoric of, if I move on, how does that make me different from Prashant? And so she created this picture where she was the one who understood their love, and would be waiting for the day that Prashant understood it too. But then Ansh's needs preceded her own and she remarried to give him a father, which Prashant refused to be.
I agree, too on the fact that her falling in love process started the moment she trusted Yash with Ansh, when he saved him and brought her back home. That is when she wanted to tell him about her past. But then she had her confrontation with Prashant and the feelings of rejection came rushing back to her. I think she was scared of being rejected yet again by Yash, so she rejected Prashant's existence to save herself. In short, she did not trust Yash to accept her after her truth came out because she was reminded of the immense shame of her past by Prashant's entry and his humiliation of her.
Sure Aarti wants Yash to return her feelings, but only on a superficial level. She wants the Aarti she projects to be loved rather than the Aarti she really is, and I don't think she can handle when Yash tries to know more about the Aarti she really is. I will believe she truly wants him to love her back in the fullest sense, only when she wants him to accept her with her past. Until then, I am convinced that she is quite content with her Mira-esque, one sided, love where the only purpose of her actions is to make him the happy person he once was.