9/8 Dragon Club: Joru ka Ghulam, Finally! - Page 25

@Indu, @sam:  Interesting thoughts re: the Paridhi situation...

Like Indu said, no one is at fault yet everyone seems to be too.

@Sam...To me it seems Prateek has no plans, whatsoever!  He's like a rudderless ship not knowing how to handle two headstrong entities pulling in opposite directions - his parents on the one side and his wife on the other.   

He's been the baby of the house and still relishes that position.  No pressures, no expectations, and no demands.  He'd happily sail on that boat into the horizon.  It is the same freedom that he had, that allowed him to pick Paridhi as a mate. The fact that she was out working was also the reason for his meeting her and enabling their love affair to flourish.  I think, more than Prateek, it was Yash and the girls that the Scindia family was concerned about. So, despite their misgivings, they may have given the go-ahead to Prateek since they themselves were overwhelmed with the tragedy of Arpita's loss and with Yash carrying the torch so that none could forget. And if his marriage facilitated Yash's marriage in some way, all the more, better.

Prateek, by constantly reassuring Paridhi that he himself has no issues with her working is the only support he's offering her.  But, he himself is clueless about how to deal with his parents.   And in my view, if he stood up to his father on that particular day, I felt it was more to show Yash and others than really standing up for Paridhi.  Yash had in a way, challenged his 'manhood' by saying that he'll go talk to SP on Prateek's behalf, and he ended up lying to save face. And then when unfortunately and ironically, just when he was chasing his new Bhabhi up and down the bridge, his father drags his wife in.  Faced with multiple onslaughts simultaneously, he spoke up to his father.  What does his father do? Raise his hand.

Ever since that moment, Prateek has realized that he needs to tread carefully not for Paridhi's sake, but for his own.  His very existence and identity is tied to the Scindia family and house.  Without them, he'd not know what to do, where to go, where to start anything.  While Pankaj and Yash can choose to walk out anytime, Prateek simply cannot. He's not equipped to deal with the world. When Paridhi and Prateek have that little get together with her friends (when the director sends the note), her friends rib him about his joblessness and having it all too easy.  This embarrasses Paridhi more than Prateek.   Prateek is completely cool with it.  If he takes up cudgels on Paridhi's behalf, he's out the door.  I think there are no two ways about that.  Hence, the main reason for his hesitation.   He's certainly not biding his time to broach the topic. He's only hoping that Paridhi would pipe down.  While he knows that Paridhi's tactics are not going to work, he has no solution himself and hence sits there frowning and waiting for the inevitable bomb blast coming their way.

 

I'd reverse @Indu's statement by saying that if Paridhi has faulted, Prateek has double-faulted.  The pre-marriage assurances, followed by inaction for more than 3 months have led to the current desperation in Paridhi's actions.  Paridhi wanted to get back to her job on day 2 after the marriage. Since then, there has been no action on Prateek's part.  On top of it, she sees that Prateek is not really incompetent.  She sees him go to lengthy lengths to achieve a goal.  This also shows that he's not all that sold into the idea of a job for Paridhi. I think this has been discussed in the past that Prateek, having no job or a very loose job description is unable to appreciate the concept of a career or ambition.  Yes, he could not help fall in love, but how could he have miscalculated his family's stance towards working women.  If anything is clear about Prateek, it is that he's unable to articulate.  He has zero leadership qualities. Even when helping out his brother and Bhabhi, he needed the guidance of the love-guru or his elder bhabhi.  I foresee only one recourse here. Prateek and Paridhi walk out. Unless Prateek comes out of the umbrella of protection of the Scindias, he'll never grow into a man that he wants to be.  For guy who's tied to the anchal of the Scindias, no other step will be enough.

 

It is interesting how you mention about the conflict about Yash.  I was thinking of it in a different way. For Yash, Prateek is his kid (he has even verbalized it) and Prateek, ever since he chose Yash's bride and got him married, has felt a deep sense of responsibility to the marriage itself. Hence, he's willing to go the length - lie, cover up, plot and plan to bring the two closer.  So, in a way, while Yash has always thought of Prateek as a child, Prateek is in a way redefining his equation to Yash.  When Prateek  refuses help from Yash in dealing with the job situation, or when he refuses to bow down to his brother's commands, or when becomes the bigger man by not choosing to go to Bombay, and finally, by convincing his parents to put the pressure, he plays the elder . I feel beneath all the love, there's a bit of masculine rivalry as well.  When Yash allows Prateek to go to Mumbai, he does the unthinkable (to me at least). He tells Prateek that he'll give him whatever money he needs (is that emasculating or what?) and then when Yash leaves, Prateek plays it back to him.   I thought interesting dynamics there...

Edited by redeye2012 - 11 years ago

@Sam: Guess my expectations are very high!😳 Also this DC thread helps discuss it out so not being able to be here last night , something kept chewing my brain so had to rant that out of my system.

Now I'm ready to see if this has anything to do with why Yash did not want to come to Mumbai initially. Could the main reason of his refusal that he did not want to subject his family to the gunda log who has a vendetta against the Scindias!

Maybe these gunda log's could be some friends of Arpita too. I know wild imagination and speculation and all that but that idea struck me so putting it out there😆
Edited by AngelDark - 11 years ago

@Samana: Agreed this is heading for a major showdown...but then so what? This will not be so ugly, simply because Aarti will be expecting it. Look, she is stepping onto his toes with her eyes wide open...If she has a plan, it is only to draw him out of his shell...hence, the pottery, the jhula, the bangle scenes...just so he stays involved. And it's not that he is an unwilling participant...he is enjoying interacting with her; in fact, at times, even giving the next cue. So, if at the end his guilt takes over or he gets a hint of what Gayatri had asked Aarti to accomplish and blows his fuse, Aarti can always turn around and repeat what she said in front of that shop... even, if it comes to it, that she is in love with him and that she never expected his love in return. She can darn well concede that it is one sided and that she has never and she will never cross her limits...so there!!! What can Yash say to that? Sooner than later he is bound to realize that she never came onto him and was happy with the status quo...and that can pave way for his own realization. Edited by InduG64 - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: InduG64

@Angel: You never know, maybe a broken bangle may act as a clue for Yash if Aarti goes missing. He did warn Lakhan not to touch his family...that means Lakhan might. 🤔  

Where's the harm in guessing...especially since we had a bangle scene out of the blue? 😛

Originally posted by: AngelDark

Can I have membership to this club too though I might not be regular, because something did not appeal to me in last night's episode. I don't like people who lecture without finding out what the problem is. I did not like Cas's overly critical lecture! I think Paridhi is doing passive aggressive.

I'm waiting for her to blast the family and tell each and everybody their fault and why nobody wants to listen to her except the damn Bua who has ulterior motives! I don't care if Pari is wrong! Sometimes you have to be a little wrong to mend things. No human is perfect!

Paridhi is being asked to become more like Arti. This thought is still making waves in my brain so here is my thought. Arti uses the more direct approach. Does this mean that Paridhi should find a person who can she save from suicide and also make a shy kid become an introvert.( I'm borrowing what @Aparna said)

Or could it be that if Paridhi were to become like Arti she should be more direct in her approach and state when a spade is spade but with sugar coating in it. When G3 took away the lemon honey she made for Prateek and gave her a lecture on Prateeks health needs as per a mum, Paridhi should have shown her respect and told her that now Prateek is married to me am I not allowed this one chance to see if Prateek likes this or not. Should not Paridhi have told G3 that I will try and mend my ways if I have made a mistake and will check with Vidhi for the likes and dislikes of Scindia pariwar. I'm saying Paridhi should be direct and with a be a bit  confrontational if needed if she is to mould in the pattern of Arti. And if need be she should also have righteous anger on her side just like Arti uses it!

Edited by AngelDark - 11 years ago

@Jyo: Actually I think it is the reverse. I do think that Yash is developing feelings for Aarti, and that is what Aarti is not seeing. She thinks the old Yash is coming back because of all the things he is doing, when in reality he is coming out of his funk because of his curiosity about Aarti. I think her major delusion here is that she can fix Yash without actually being a part of the reaction herself; she thinks she can fix him externally. But the truth is that this change in Yash is linked to the change in Aarti. He is coming out of his shell because he can't stand to see her unhappy with him, or worse wanting to leave. Aarti thinks he is just being a gentleman and a good father, and is playing on those facts. Yesterday, she played him through his OCD, not because she thought she had any effect on him. I think a big part of Aarti does not want her love returned, as proved by her contentment with the status quo and her discomfort with Yash's more intense gazes and touches. She wants to know Yash inside out and make him happy, but she does not want him to know her more than what she chooses to disclose. So she is totally underestimating the role of Aarti in the transformation of Yash. She thinks she is the doctor when she is the medicine, if that makes sense.

@Red: I knew I was overestimating Prateek there, but I think there is a kernel of truth to it. To me the problem obviously started with Prateek's false promise that Paridhi could work after marriage. He didn't even bother to explain the challenges involved in achieving that and so she assumed that it would happen whenever she wanted. He should have started building the bridge then itself and he didn't. This misrepresentation was the root cause of everything we see unfolding now.

The second big blunder that was born of the above, was that Paridhi wanted to go back to work two days after marriage. Even if Prateek had every intention of making her case in front of his parents, he did not expect it to happen this soon. Instead of asking him how much time he needed, she gave him an impossible ultimatum of one day and no sex. So she created a frustrated, starved and vulnerable monster that was even less equipped to deal with his parents. And so the vicious cycle began. Prateek was scared, so Paridhi made him feel weak and ineffectual and in turn he was more scared and his pride was hurt. This resulted in his refusing the help of Yash because he wanted to salvage the little masculinity he had in his wife's eyes.

I agree with everything you said about Prateek. His identity is so rooted in the house, mainly because that is where he likes to be, with the women, cooking and gossiping. I think living outside the family for a while could do him a world of good and I hope the CVs have the guts to tackle that. I loved your ideas about his and Yash's testosterone race. It is so interesting and very possible! Yash wants to treat Prateek like a child and Prateek is no longer willing to oblige. He wants to take responsibility for himself. But that comes down to one thing: he does not want to take responsibility for these decisions of Paridhi, though he says he supports her. It has become an ego clash between them, with each asserting the importance of their goals and passions. If for Paridhi it is her job, for Prateek it is his family and neither willing to back down an inch.

@Ria, I have to say I absolutely agree with your thoughts on Aarti and Yash. I don't think Aarti is misinterpreting Yash's behavior at all. In fact the one thing that I think Aarti is not seeing is that Yash's feelings for Aarti is seeping into his awareness more and more. And I think Aarti might be around 25 or so. A young girl who has been in love before but with disastrous results. She has once again fallen in love with a person she respects. She is just being happy and giggly and enjoying the feelings. And like you said I think she is holding onto any attention she gets from Yash as something precious and valuable. After the pain she has been through for so many years, I can totally understand the way she is behaving right now. 

@All, I also agree that this is all probably going ot blow up. But that is exactly what I am looking forward to. Yash is a person who hates his boat to be rocked. He and Aarti had set some boundaries for this marriage. Aarti's feelings have changed and she now has new boundaries. So why should she still play by Yash's rules? She knows Yash is not at a stage where he will even listen to her side of the things. So I am glad she is pushing him. And a blow-up is probably what is needed for him to step out of the illusory world he is living in right now. 

@Sam, Jyo, Indu: I totally get what you are saying about Pari and Pratik. All of us believe that both Pari and Pratik are at fault and I completely agree but I am sorry which ever way I look at it I find Pratik more at fault than Pari. It drives me nuts when we have guys who expect the girls to come in and automatically expect them to fall in line with their inlaws thinking. I feel Pari could have been taught to be more patient and accommodating of the Scindia views if Pratik had taken the trouble to help her assimilate. The biggest issue Pari has with Pratik is that she feels he hasn't supported her enough. Pari too by constantly comparing Pratik to Yash did a disservice to him nevertheless Pratik has two brothers who would have gone out of their limb to help him wade through these issues. The whole family was after ArYa which is understandable considering the trauma Yash went through but Pankaj and Yash would always have been more than ready to help Pratik understand Pari and the situation he is in. To me Pratik, is a wimp. He is immature, he himself may have issues being the baby of the family and I absolutely adore his character but he still is a wimp. He may have stood up for Pari when push came to shove the last time but what is the point if he hasn't learnt anything from that last incident and he still plays a part in the birth of another such scenario. 

I apologize if my thoughts are not coherent. It is early in the morning and my cup of tea is still brewing. 😡

@Chalhov, welcome. 😃

@Angel : I agree that Cas and Gayatri hv always taken decision from their own family's POV .. till Aarti was obsessed with Ansh , she was a bad bahu but the moment she got more involved in PayPal  and Yash , she becomes a yogya bahu and even Ansh is today accepted happily in the family  and now they r expecting the same from Paridi too 😆 ... But here what I like about Cas and Gayu is that they r quite honest and blunt on your face ...they actually announce it directly that yes we r hypocrats and we want our family's happiness over individual gains 😆...

It would hv been better if Pratik before marriage had made it clear to his parents that Paridi will work post marriage and even Paridi's parents would hv made it clear to Scindia family .. ..

@Sammy, 

That bit about Yash and Aarti in your response to Jyo was fantastic. I too feel that Aarti has no idea on the effect she has on Yash. And when Yash goes into a rant about Arti taking AKJ, she takes it literally in the way he says it. She does not understand that he is actually mad at himself and at her for rousing feelings in him that only Arpita possibly could have done. And I don't expect Aarti to understand any of this either. I loved what you said about Aarti being the medicine but she thinks of herself as the doctor. And I think she is happy to play the doctor. The minute she realizes that she is the medicine she will start panicking because then she will also be forced to think about Prashant who she has pushed far far down in the abyss of her mind. So complex! 😆

EDIT: Jyo just read your response. I don't think Aarti has any plans per se. I think she is just flying with the wind. The only difference being before when Yash would have glowered at her she would back off. Now she refuses to do so. She will do what she wants to do even if Yash does not like it. When she was out playing in the rain and Yash demanded she stop her childishness, she did. Yesterday with bangles, he had the same expression but she went ahead to buy the bangles anyways. 

Edited by angake - 11 years ago