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Ignoscentia-chapter 8 posted page 15 (Page 7)

AY_candy_luver IF-Dazzler

Joined: 18 May 2007
Posts: 4272

Posted: 21 August 2012 at 8:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by prahelika

just today finished the 1st partSmile...it is really awesomeBig smile...
yet to read rest chapters...
i have sent you a buddy request...plz accept it and pm me next timeSmile...

Thanks for your comment. Glad you liked it. Will definitely PM you next time :)

AY_candy_luver IF-Dazzler

Joined: 18 May 2007
Posts: 4272

Posted: 21 August 2012 at 11:56am | IP Logged
Originally posted by disha15


will read soon-ish,i want to read this in absolute silence around,i cannot enjoy it otherwise :D this is what happens when i REALLY like an ff. Embarrassed Aww..! Haha thanks :) Embarrassed


Ana,you are simply epic! ClapMy, I do enjoy you're commentsTongue I cannot even start to describe what runs through my mind whenever i read ur updates.Im literally almost in tears each time. Aww…I don't know whether I should be happy that my work touches you so deeply, or sad that it does...I dunno if its bcoz i can relate to this story or because you pen down the emotions so well,that i can actually feel the pain.I think its a bit of both. Meh, majorly because you can relate, though. 

I loved three things bout this update-
#Sandhya's entry - first scene itself told us that she is a strong character,much like her sister Embarrassed But 10 times tougher.Yes Indeed. Skin like a reptileI wish i had an elder sibling who could go beat the shit outta some unwanted ppl from life TongueAww…I'm sorry you don't. An older sibling is AMAZING to have. 

Oh...I was just heading out to get the groceries...thought its been long since I saw you two...realized I should drop by. Ask you how you two have been. How the band's going...how your families are...and why my sister looks as broken as she did the day you broke her heart."
^^the last line made me go-i so love this woman Big smileGOOD! She does deserve to be loved :)

Sam, just because you're taller than me now doesn't mean I'm not older than you. I've seen you walking around in your undies in my garden. So, I have more than enough right to slap you if you talk to me like that ever again."
^^ ROFL hilarious!

"Watch it! You say one foul word about my sister and I swear to god I will make sure that  you are unable to reproduce." Sandhya raised her finger threateningly at him.
^^I so loved this line. Big smile With the amount of anger building up within her,im pretty sure she would hav gone ahead and made him impot*** TongueMost definitely. Without a doubt.  A really well written line.Thumbs Up

I really love Sandhya!The normally kick-ass woman turning completely helpless looking at her sister's condition showed how much variety you bring in one character. Clap Aw, cool. 

#Kabir standing up for Sandhya and then finally deciding to apologise to Alya-beautifully written.Im glad Kabir finally has found his voice and has used it at the right place! Yeah. Fianlly!

#Sam showing up to apologise-awww,this was just aww you know Embarrassed Haha, isn't it. Finally melting 

He looked at Al with eyes that were threatening to spill tears, much like hers. I had a feeling that he desperately wanted to apologize, but at the sight of her tears, was at a loss of words. The abashed, pained expression on his face was unmistakable, and for the first time in twelve months, I felt bad for the poor kid. He looked as if he was suffering just as much, if not more, than my sister.
^^I was the closest to shedding tears while reading this paragraph.This was really..deep.It really pricked me.Cant really type what i am feeling right now,im really outta words.Aww…once again, I don't know whether to be happy or sad. 

Ana,i'm really glad you shared this story and I was able to read it Smile Just to know that there are other people who have been through the same shit,makes me feel like,ok..so now i can stop saying,"why me?" each time i look up in the sky,you know Embarrassed I'm so sorry about that. Did it end happily? I hope it did!

Thanks for your comment. Me in purple. 

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AY_candy_luver IF-Dazzler

Joined: 18 May 2007
Posts: 4272

Posted: 21 August 2012 at 11:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by LoveToLaugh

Sorry it took me a long time to get to this, buddy. 

This update was simply epic. Like everybody else, I was expecting a narration of what happened in the past. But I loved how you went about it. EmbarrassedOh thank you. Glad you don't want to kill me Wink

I absolutely loved Sandhya's entry. Good to know that even when all her friends had abandoned Alya, she wasn't alone. Yeah…I guess thats what kept her partially sane...I loved her conversation with Sam. I guess someone needed to tell him just how much he had hurt Alya. And I think she did manage to put it across, since he came around to apologize to her. She has the ability to set people straight. So yeah, she did get through Sam.

Originally posted by AY_candy_luver

He looked at Al with eyes that were threatening to spill tears, much like hers. I had a feeling that he desperately wanted to apologize, but at the sight of her tears, was at a loss of words. The abashed, pained expression on his face was unmistakable, and for the first time in twelve months, I felt bad for the poor kid. He looked as if he was suffering just as much, if not more, than my sister.

I absolutely loved this part of the story. Sam certainly was suffering, wasn't he? Very much. After all that bitterness in his conversation with Sandhya, after having been convinced that Alya had been in the wrong for a whole year, he came around to apologize. And I loved that he did. Embarrassed

Great update. ClapAnd now I am more excited than ever to read the next part of the story. Yay! Good to know that. Will try and update soon, don't worry :) 


Thanks for your comment. Me in purple
aamirkhanfan IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 17 October 2009
Posts: 11101

Posted: 22 August 2012 at 10:40am | IP Logged
awesome update
sam is so stubborn
AY_candy_luver IF-Dazzler

Joined: 18 May 2007
Posts: 4272

Posted: 22 August 2012 at 2:25pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by aamirkhanfan

awesome update
sam is so stubborn

Thanks for your comment. Glad you liked it. Yes, Sam is definitely stubborn. But so is Alya. 

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AY_candy_luver IF-Dazzler

Joined: 18 May 2007
Posts: 4272

Posted: 23 August 2012 at 4:19pm | IP Logged
Finally got time from my internship to update. I have to warn you guys beforehand that this is a short multichapter story. Only two more chapters remain, and an epilogue, if I find it necessary. Anyway, thank you so much for your comments. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter too, and don't forget to comment Smile

Chapter 5- Tears, guilt and…redemption? 

Sam's POV

Red, blue, green, brown, grey…all blended into one. Shapes blurred into jagged lines, sounds all merged into one big cacophony. I guess this is how the werewolf in that horrible vampire books for tweens felt like when running. What was it called…Midnight? Moonlight? I didn't quite understand why I was thinking about that at the moment, it wasn't exactly appropriate. 

Irritated with myself, I swiped at my cheek as a tear trickled down. It wasn't helping with my already blurred vision. I sighed loudly, slowing down, as I approached my destination. The tree house. It was in the middle of a random forest near our neighborhood. I had built it with my two best friends when I was seven. Make that my best friend and ex-girlfriend...

I dried my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt before grabbing onto the rope ladder. Carefully placing my right foot on the first step of the ladder, I pushed myself upwards and climbed. By the time I reached the top, I was out of breath. 

"Man! I'm seriously out shape!" I said to myself, as I walked over to one of the beanbags placed on the floor. 

I slumped down on the teal beanbag, putting my head in my hands. I couldn't get her out of my head. Actually, that wasn't a first; I couldn't ever get Alya out of my head. She was constantly there-her smile, her eyes, her smart-ass comments, the pensive look she had when she was writing...She was amazing, and beautiful and so...I groaned loudly, grabbing a clump of my hair in frustration. 

At the moment, however, the only image of hers popping in my head was one of her crying. The hurt in her eyes, the way the corners of her mouth drooped...The way she lowered her eyelashes, and the tears that laboriously dripped on them and trickled down her cheeks...I could feel my eyes becoming full. I closed them, and sure enough, tears dripped down from my closed eyes. Once again, I held my head in my hands, and cried, silently. 

"Sam...?" I looked up, to see my best friend's face smiling back at me. 

"When did you come?" I asked, wiping away my tears hastily. I didn't know how long I'd been up in the treehouse. The sky outside had become a faint pink, so I guessed it was nearing evening.

"Half an hour. We looked everywhere for you because somebody didn't believe me when I told them that you'd be here." He looked over his shoulder to throw the snide remark at someone. I presumed it was Jay, because there was no way in hell that Alya would come to meet me.

"Did you talk to her?" I asked, as Jay walked up to Kabir, panting. 

"No...we left as soon as we saw you..." Kabir faltered, looking to his left for help from Jay.

"As soon as we saw you run away like an absolute coward from the girl who's heart you broke." Jay added unmercifully, throwing a fake, wide smile in my direction.

"It was a mutual decision!" I exclaimed for what seemed like the ten thousandth time. He rolled his eyes and plopped in the beanbag next to me.

"It sure didn't seem like it when her sister and her accused you of-"

"They're an overdramatic family. They exaggerate for everything!" I snapped at him, as Kabir dragged a beanbag next to me.

"She was crying today and you still have the audacity to make snide comments about her?!" 

Kabir was really mad. I could tell because he was whisper shouting. Well, not exactly shouting...or whispering for that matter. But when he gets mad, his voice gets really low, and his words tremble, because he's shaking on the inside. I've known the guy for fourteen years…You tend to pick up stuff in that space of time.

"Kabir..." I faltered, choking up as the image of her crying floated back into the screenplay of my mind. 

"Sam, she was crying, and-"

"And it was all our fault!" I covered my face with my hands, and started sobbing again. 

My whole body shook with each new tear that fell down my cheek. I couldn't bear it. How had I let this happen? How had I turned into a monster that made the one person who I couldn't bear to see crying cry? I felt a hand patting me awkwardly on the back, which I guessed was Jay. Because at this point, I knew Kabir was in no mood to comfort me. He was pretty much livid, and would not forgive me so easily.

"Oh for god's sake! Stop pitying yourself!" He snapped at me, annoyed. At least he wasn't livid. I raised my head, and threw him a look of irritation.

"Give him a break! He still has feelings for her!" Jay jumped to my defense, and I smiled gratefully at him. Having him around was proving to be incredibly useful.

"Exactly! I still have fee...HEY! I do not still have feelings for her!" I exclaimed indignantly, punching Jay on the shoulder. He winced and rubbed his shoulder in a theatrical manner. I rolled my eyes, as Kabir smirked at me.

"Of course you don't." Jay replied sarcastically, after he had milked the whole 'I-punched-him-really-hard-and-it-really-hurt' thing as much as he could. 

"I don't! Kabir, tell him!" I whipped my head in Kabir's direction, demanding him to defend me. He raised his eyebrows at me, as if I was being absolutely ridiculous and childish. Maybe I was being absolutely ridiculous and childish, but as my best friend, it was his duty to defend me!

"Kabir..." I threatened, glaring fiercely at him. He raised his hands in surrender, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Alright, fine! Jay, he does not have feelings for Alya." He said, looking at Jay, who rolled his eyes, but remained silent.

"Alright, live in denial...Anyway, now that that's sorted...Sam, are you ready to forgive Alya?" Jay's voice had adopted a very serious tone. I knew he wanted a sincere answer, and finally, after a year of being immature and stupid, I was ready to answer.


"Great!" Kabir exclaimed, as his smile stretched from one ear to the other, and quite frankly creeped me out. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who found his smile creepy...

"Geez man! Can you tone it down a little, you look like a circus clown!" Kabir scowled at Jay's comment, and Jay wiped at his forehead, sighing in relief.

"Wait a minute, aren't all clowns circus clowns?" Asked Kabir, frowning, as if the matter really bothered him.

"No...there are clowns that entertain at birthday parties, fairs, funerals, sp-"

[i"Funerals?![/i] You're joking, right?"

"No...there were a bunch of clowns at my uncle's funeral."

"Well maybe it was because-"

"She won't forgive us." I interrupted Kabir and Jay's random conversation, as the realization struck me. 

It was all very well to be happy that I had finally come to terms with my mistakes and was willing to forgive Alya. But would she be able to forgive us? Somehow, I thought that the possibility of her forgiving us were very slim.

"She will. We have her sister on our side. And from what I've heard from you two...She can make Al eat from the palm of her hand." Jay replied, grinning mischievously at me. 

"Well, lets go meet her. I should apologize for the way I behaved." 

"Yeah that's a good idea. Jay, is it possible that your uncle was a clown?" Kabir asked Jay, who gasped, completely shocked.

"How did you know?!" He asked/exclaimed, as Kabir rolled his eyes.

"Well, then obviously there would be a lot of clowns paying him homage at his funeral!" Kabir proclaimed, knocking his knuckles against his brain to indicate that Jay was being pretty airheaded.

"Oh...that makes so much more sense!"

"Great, so now that we're done with this can we go meet Sandy di?" I asked, as Kabir and Jay nodded. I sighed in relief, impatient to get to Sandy di as soon as possible. I wanted to fix things with Al ASAP.

"Yeah, lets...Hey! Wouldn't it be weird if clowns were called to entertain at funerals?" Kabir asked Jay again, as I groaned, slumping down in my bean bag. Their stupid conversation about clowns had not ceased...to exist.

"I know right, it would be like-"

"Guys. Can we go to see her now?" I pressed, finally taking matters in my own hands. They whipped their heads in my direction, and after staring at me for a whole minute with big, bug like eyes, burst into agreement.

"Oh, now..."

"Yeah, sure, let's go!" 

I rolled my eyes, as I was pretty sure that they had played the whole charade about clowns on purpose. To rile me up. Whatever, all I cared about was making Al happy…And for her to forgive me. And the only way I could do that was by asking Sandy di for help.

They jumped on their feet in synchrony that could only be achieved through practice. I raised my eyebrows suspiciously at them, but they just shrugged their shoulders, and I let it go. I got up myself, and one by one, we climbed down the tree house. As our feet hit the ground, Kabir spoke again. 

"Sam..." I turned my face to look at him, and was a little taken aback. His eyes were boring into my face with a semi-calculative, penetrating look. It was as if he was trying to figure out what was going on my in brain.

"Yes Kabir?" I asked, sighing, because I knew he'd have something aggravating to say. When he takes on that serious look, and tries to hijack my brain, he sprouts theories about what's going on in my head. Generally, they are wrong.

"Why did you run away when you saw Alya crying?"

I knew it was a rhetorical question, so I kept silent. He and I both knew the answer. Helpless. I was completely helpless. I couldn't see her crying, I had never been able to. I could practically feel him smirking on the inside...what an @#$. 

"Why aren't you answering his question Sam?" The newest addition to our band piped up, as eager as...whatever. I couldn't quite remember the saying at the moment. I rolled my eyes, and turned to glare at him. Unfortunately, my glare wasn't quite as effective as I had hoped it to be. He stared, unabashed, straight into my eyes, demanding an answer. I sighed, and accepting defeat, replied.

"Because he knows my answer." 

Oh s**t, oh s**t, oh s**t. I looked, absolutely terrified at Kabir, who threw a reassuring smile my way. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm my racing nerves. It didn't work. I still felt like I was going to pee my pants out of fear.

"Remind me again how you convinced me to go see Sandy di?" I asked, nearly tripping on a step I didn't see.

"I actually didn't convince you. You were pretty morose because you realized Al wouldn't forgive us easily. And Jay suggested that we go to Sandy di, since she's the only one who can help us." Kabir replied, in a perfectly calm and composed manner. How could he be that relaxed when we were going to…

"Tell me, how is Alya's sister? Is she just like a bigger version of Alya?" Jay piped up. I noticed he was doing a lot of 'piping up'. I wondered if he was on ecstasy or something…how was it possible to ALWAYS be so happy?

"Why?" I asked suspiciously, looking at him rather wearily.

"Well, if I were you, I wouldn't be too worried if she wasn't like Alya. But if she was…I'd be s*****g my pants right now." He stated matter of factly. I felt my stomach sinking, as I knew that Sandy di was pretty much a stronger and older version of Alya. So in reality she could physically hurt us more.

"Marvelous." I muttered to myself, as we finally reached the front door of the Bose house. Just as Kabir was about to reach for the doorbell, Jay piped up with another intelligent comment.

"Wait a minute, we're making a secret plan about Alya in her own house? Doesn't anything seem weird about that to you?" This time, the effervescent ball of sunshine actually had a point. I looked questioningly at Kabir, who smiled reassuringly at me.

"Relax. She's gone out. I checked with Sandy di before coming here. Are there any more questions or can I ring the doorbell?" 

We both nodded, and rolling his eyes at our paranoia, Kabir pushed his thumb across the white doorbell. A shrill ding-dong resonated in my ears, and I had the urge to cover them. Before I could, however, Sandy di was standing at the doorway.

"Oh good, you're here. Come inside."

She stepped aside to give us space. Like the awkward idiotic teenagers we are, we clambered in, well…awkwardly. I tried to avoid her gaze, but it seemed like her eyes were looking for me. I could feel her glare as I walked inside. Sighing, I raised my eyes to meet hers; there was no point in fighting it.

"You decided to grace us with you presence…" She remarked, as I wrung my hands, determined to not lower my gaze.

"Di…" I faltered, unable to find words to apologize. Was there a word in the English language that could compensate for my abominably rude behavior?

"Oh…I thought you were too big to call me that now." She retorted folding her arms across her chest and giving me a smirk. I sighed, running a hand in my hair. Maybe I should start with a sorry.

"I…" I paused, stopping myself mid-way. I was better than a puny, stupid sorry. I bent down on my knees, bent my head, and started my impromptu speech.

"I know I've been an insensitive, self absorbed @#$ for the past year. I refused to believe that I had made mistakes, and that I had hurt people that I love dearly. But seeing Al cry…you know I can't see her cry...and I was the reason she was crying...I've been incredibly blind and stupid, and I am seriously ashamed. I'm truly, very sorry di. I didn't have the right to speak to you the way I did. I didn't have the right to abandon Alya and the say bitter things to her that I didn't really mean. I know you probably-"

"Okay, enough. I get the point. You're sorry. God Sam! You still haven't learnt subtlety, have you?" 

Kabir and Jay chuckled, as I got up on my feet and wrapped my arms around her. She coughed loudly, pointedly, slapping at my arms to get me to move away from her. I grinned, and squeezed her tight for a few more seconds. After her incessant, muffled complains, however, I let her go and stepped back.

"Thank you for releasing me." She gasped, in between fake coughs. I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Wow! You're not at all like your sister!" Remarked Jay, and we all turned to face him.

"What do you mean?" Asked Sandy di, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"You forgave Sam so easily, and Alya..." He faltered, as he saw Sandy di glare ferociously at him. I grinned unsympathetically at him. No one insulted Alya in front of Sandy di and got away with it. I awaited (I admit) with glee for the scolding that was inevitably coming Jays' way. He was so tactless and stupidly honest at times.

"Why are you here?" Sandy di asked, instead of blasting Jay for insulting her sister.

"Because this is highly entertaining for me. It's interesting to see how desperate these two are for the forgiveness of one girl, when normally they aren't affected by the opinion and attention of others. Also I have to know more about Al, coz she's my drama partner." Jay replied nonchalantly, and I felt like smacking him. Why was he lying? He was the one who came up with the idea to go see Sandy di.

"He's lying! He's the one who suggested we come see you." I exclaimed, as Jay glared, slightly abashed, at me.

"Oh really? Well, I'm glad to see that you're more intelligent than your friends." Said Sandy di, smiling mischievously at us. We smiled back...even Jay

"Alright, enough chatter. Now let's get to work. I will make Al talk to you and sort things out, come what may."

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aamirkhanfan IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 17 October 2009
Posts: 11101

Posted: 23 August 2012 at 9:39pm | IP Logged
great update
sultanahabeeb Groupbie

Joined: 27 June 2012
Posts: 172

Posted: 23 August 2012 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
wow amazing thanks for pm

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