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Ignoscentia-chapter 8 posted page 15 (Page 6)

Ameres IF-Sizzlerz
Ameres
Ameres

Joined: 28 March 2008
Posts: 21667

Posted: 18 August 2012 at 6:01am | IP Logged
Great update again. The story is really interesting and the way you present it makes it even more...interesting. Sorry I'm short on vocab but I'm really enjoying it. Your words really flow into each other, painting a picture before the reader. Amazing job! Clap

So Sam is being a typical guy, don't know what made him so bitter towards Al but...he is being too stubborn and mean. But from the looks it you are making him come around. And oh, the suspense! Now thats a way to keep a reader hooked on. Waiting for the past secret to come out. =P

And I'm really bad at keeping up with updates and all, mostly I do read but fail to comment on time. So just saying even if I don't comment I do read them! :) 

Update soon. :)

EDIT- I completely forgot to comment on Jay! Tongue
Don't know whom...but Jay reminds me of someone. Great character sketch there, he sounds so different from the rest. Happy and in peach with himself. I know you give each characters view points but...it feels like the reader is reading as Jay I mean like an outsider watching it all happening. Guess I perceive it differently but thought of sharing. :)


Edited by Ameres - 18 August 2012 at 2:04pm
ridzzi Goldie
ridzzi
ridzzi

Joined: 25 September 2011
Posts: 1797

Posted: 18 August 2012 at 8:06am | IP Logged
edited my comment on pg 5...   :-)
prahelika Senior Member
prahelika
prahelika

Joined: 13 December 2011
Posts: 914

Posted: 18 August 2012 at 10:13am | IP Logged
just today finished the 1st partSmile...it is really awesomeBig smile...
yet to read rest chapters...
i have sent you a buddy request...plz accept it and pm me next timeSmile...
.FemmeFatale. IF-Sizzlerz
.FemmeFatale.
.FemmeFatale.

Joined: 15 September 2008
Posts: 21580

Posted: 19 August 2012 at 12:53am | IP Logged
RESERVED :)

will read soon-ish,i want to read this in absolute silence around,i cannot enjoy it otherwise :D this is what happens when i REALLY like an ff. Embarrassed

EDITED.

Ana,you are simply epic! Clap I cannot even start to describe what runs through my mind whenever i read ur updates.Im literally almost in tears each time.I dunno if its bcoz i can relate to this story or because you pen down the emotions so well,that i can actually feel the pain.I think its a bit of both.

I loved three things bout this update-
#Sandhya's entry - first scene itself told us that she is a strong character,much like her sister Embarrassed But 10 times tougher.I wish i had an elder sibling who could go beat the shit outta some unwanted ppl from life Tongue


Oh...I was just heading out to get the groceries...thought its been long since I saw you two...realized I should drop by. Ask you how you two have been. How the band's going...how your families are...and why my sister looks as broken as she did the day you broke her heart."
^^the last line made me go-i so love this woman Big smile

Sam, just because you're taller than me now doesn't mean I'm not older than you. I've seen you walking around in your undies in my garden. So, I have more than enough right to slap you if you talk to me like that ever again."
^^ ROFL hilarious!


"Watch it! You say one foul word about my sister and I swear to god I will make sure that  you are unable to reproduce." Sandhya raised her finger threateningly at him.
^^I so loved this line. Big smile With the amount of anger building up within her,im pretty sure she would hav gone ahead and made him impot*** Tongue A really well written line.Thumbs Up

I really love Sandhya!The normally kick-ass woman turning completely helpless looking at her sister's condition showed how much variety you bring in one character. Clap


#Kabir standing up for Sandhya and then finally deciding to apologise to Alya-beautifully written.Im glad Kabir finally has found his voice and has used it at the right place!

#Sam showing up to apologise-awww,this was just aww you know Embarrassed


He looked at Al with eyes that were threatening to spill tears, much like hers. I had a feeling that he desperately wanted to apologize, but at the sight of her tears, was at a loss of words. The abashed, pained expression on his face was unmistakable, and for the first time in twelve months, I felt bad for the poor kid. He looked as if he was suffering just as much, if not more, than my sister.
^^I was the closest to shedding tears while reading this paragraph.This was really..deep.It really pricked me.Cant really type what i am feeling right now,im really outta words.



Ana,i'm really glad you shared this story and I was able to read it Smile Just to know that there are other people who have been through the same shit,makes me feel like,ok..so now i can stop saying,"why me?" each time i look up in the sky,you know Embarrassed 




Edited by disha15 - 19 August 2012 at 3:42pm
LoveToLaugh Senior Member
LoveToLaugh
LoveToLaugh

BollyCurry Production Intern
Joined: 12 June 2012
Posts: 904

Posted: 20 August 2012 at 11:02am | IP Logged
Sorry it took me a long time to get to this, buddy. 

This update was simply epic. Like everybody else, I was expecting a narration of what happened in the past. But I loved how you went about it. Embarrassed

I absolutely loved Sandhya's entry. Good to know that even when all her friends had abandoned Alya, she wasn't alone. I loved her conversation with Sam. I guess someone needed to tell him just how much he had hurt Alya. And I think she did manage to put it across, since he came around to apologize to her.

Originally posted by AY_candy_luver

He looked at Al with eyes that were threatening to spill tears, much like hers. I had a feeling that he desperately wanted to apologize, but at the sight of her tears, was at a loss of words. The abashed, pained expression on his face was unmistakable, and for the first time in twelve months, I felt bad for the poor kid. He looked as if he was suffering just as much, if not more, than my sister.

I absolutely loved this part of the story. Sam certainly was suffering, wasn't he? After all that bitterness in his conversation with Sandhya, after having been convinced that Alya had been in the wrong for a whole year, he came around to apologize. And I loved that he did. Embarrassed

Great update. ClapAnd now I am more excited than ever to read the next part of the story. 

Love,
Tanisha
AY_candy_luver IF-Dazzler
AY_candy_luver
AY_candy_luver

Joined: 18 May 2007
Posts: 4318

Posted: 21 August 2012 at 8:35am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ridzzi

sry to say but i will surely kill u, Oh no…please don't Tongueu hv actually smashed all the suspense,i was so excited about to know their past but u actually changed the track from going in past to direct present...no,no,no way,why did u do that? Haha. As I said, I have a reason Wink
ok now update,it was damn good, Aww…thanks! I'm glad you liked it Smilei didn't understood when sam was gone to apologise her then why he didn't Because he saw Alya cry, and couldn't.  n why alya is being so stubborn Because she's hurt, and doesn't want to me hurt again. Big smile n kabeer actualluy slaped sam,i literally laugh on jai's condition confused fellow, Haha! Yeah! Poor guy oh i really want all to be together again
ud soon Will try
luv u :-)

Thanks for comment. Me in purple 
AY_candy_luver IF-Dazzler
AY_candy_luver
AY_candy_luver

Joined: 18 May 2007
Posts: 4318

Posted: 21 August 2012 at 8:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Ameres

Great update again. The story is really interesting and the way you present it makes it even more...interesting. Haha! Thanks! :) I'm glad you think so.Sorry I'm short on vocab but I'm really enjoying it. Your words really flow into each other, painting a picture before the reader. Amazing job! Clap Thanks. That's a great compliment. Big smileEmbarrassed

So Sam is being a typical guy, don't know what made him so bitter towards Al but...he is being too stubborn and mean. Yep, he's a guy, so ya know... But from the looks it you are making him come around. And oh, the suspense! Now thats a way to keep a reader hooked on. Waiting for the past secret to come out. =P Yep. TO keep you guys hooked :)

And I'm really bad at keeping up with updates and all, mostly I do read but fail to comment on time. Meh. Its alright.  So just saying even if I don't comment I do read them! :) 

Update soon. :) Will try my best. 

EDIT- I completely forgot to comment on Jay! Tongue
Don't know whom...but Jay reminds me of someone. Haha! Really? I guess he's a tribute to all happy go lucky guys. Great character sketch there, he sounds so different from the rest. Happy and in peach with himself. Yeah. exactly.I know you give each characters view points but...it feels like the reader is reading as Jay I mean like an outsider watching it all happening.  Really? That's interesting. Good to know :)Guess I perceive it differently but thought of sharing. :)

Thanks so much for your comment. Me in purple. 
AY_candy_luver IF-Dazzler
AY_candy_luver
AY_candy_luver

Joined: 18 May 2007
Posts: 4318

Posted: 21 August 2012 at 8:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ridzzi

edited my comment on pg 5...   :-)

Yep, saw it. Thanks :)

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