Writers Corner

   

Ignoscentia-chapter 8 posted page 15 (Page 2)

Post Reply New Post

Page 2 of 19

Page 1
Page   of 19
Page 3 Page 19

The.Patthaaka.

IF-Sizzlerz

The.Patthaaka.

Joined: 15 September 2008

Posts: 20078

Posted: 11 August 2012 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
no problem at all ana! :) 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

sultanahabeeb

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "Ignoscentia-chapter 8 posted page 15 (Page 2)" in Writers Corner forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

AY_candy_luver

IF-Dazzler

AY_candy_luver

Joined: 18 May 2007

Posts: 4315

Posted: 11 August 2012 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
Alright. Here's the second chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who commented. It really made my day :) Hope you guys enjoy this. 

Chapter 2- A visit from the past

Jay's POV

"By the way guys there might be someone coming to see us practice today. Actually, she should be here by now." One of my band mates looked up from tuning his guitar, an eyebrow perfectly raised.

"She?" He asked suggestively, grinning mischievously. 

"It's not like that man. Its for the drama project." I replied, rolling my eyes at my two band mates, who threw me looks of disbelief.

"Right. It always starts with a drama project." One of them quipped, chuckling. I threw a pillow at him, and missed by a metre. 
Damn! I needed to start playing sports again. 

"Shut up you guys," I muttered, just as the doorbell rang loudly. I didn't miss the look exchanged between my band mates. I immediately knew the significance of it... 

"No." I said firmly. All I got in response was two identical grins planted on on their faces.

"No, no, 
no NO!" And before I knew it, I was chasing after them, running to stop them from opening the door to my clueless and moody drama partner.

"Hi, I'm Sa-" I groaned loudly, slowing to a walk to cross the distance of a few centimeters to the main door.

"Okay Sam, why don't you-" I faltered in my speech, as I saw the ashen look on my generally frowny drama partner's face. No, not ashen, that was an understatement. She looked pained, as if she had just choked on something. 

I turned to exchange a bewildered look with my band member, only to find a similar 
'I-have-just-been-strangled' expression on his face. 

"Hey...why so...Al?!" Kabir's exclamation seemed to bring Sam and Alya back to reality.

"I...I...I have to..." She dug her hands in her pockets, lowering her gaze.

"You guys know Alya?!" I asked, the surprise clear in the tone of my voice. Almost instantly, her head shot up, and before Sam or Kabir could even open their mouths, she replied.

"We might have seen each other around...its a small neighborhood." 

From the corner of my eye, I saw pain flicker in Kabir and Sam's eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it came. So, I wasn't even sure whether the pain I had seen was a figment of my imagination, or not. I had a strong suspicion that it was the latter. 

"I see..." I said, my tone indicating the disbelief I felt.

"I have to go. I.." The rest of her speech came out garbled, and completely incoherent. Once again, I had a strong suspicion that she was mumbling on purpose.

"I'm sorry...didn't quite catch that..." I said, a glint of mischief held in my eyes. She rolled hers, and sighing, as if she was Atlas, spoke again.

"I can't do this right now. We can meet tomorrow at school to start the project."

"You came all the way here to tell me 
that?" I asked, cocking up an eyebrow, an exaggerated, bewildered expression on my face. She glared fiercely at me, as I bit back the laugh begging to burst forth.

"Look. If you want to work on our project, we can do it tomorrow. If you don't, I'm okay with that as well." I nodded, fighting to keep a straight face as she walked away, her brows furrowed. 

I mentally gave myself a pat on the back for managing to wipe that pained expression off her face. It was much better to have her moody than hurting (for some unknown reason) on the inside. 

Now, if only my band mates would enlighten me on exactly why my new drama partner's face fell when she saw them...

"Alright..." I turned to them, closing the door behind me.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, trying not to snort at their poor attempts to feign innocence. There was a reason they didn't take drama. 

"What do you mean?" Asked Kabir, his voice squeaking as he tried to lie. I raised my eyebrows, staring incredulously at him.

"Please. You know her, don't you?" I asked them, watching Sam stir from the corner of my eye, as Kabir threw a desperate look at him. Unfolding his hands, Sam answered my question.

"Why don't you ask her that?" Something about his frame made me feel a little uneasy. Perhaps it was because of his tightened jaw, or the way he was glaring rather...menacingly at me. Yep, it was probably the menacing glare. Nonetheless, I had to keep my cool.

"I did. And she said she didn't. But I also know she was lying." I replied, keeping calm.

"Well, that's a bit presumptuous, don't you think?" Kabir spoke up, as Sam shifted his glare to my tiled, stone floor. 

"You knew her name Kabir." I replied, my tone perhaps a bit accusatory. Sam directed his glare back at me, full-fledged fury now simmering in his eyes. He took a step closer to me, and spoke in a voice that was very nearly shouting.

"Jay, I'm 
warning you. If you don't stay out of this, I swear to god I'll-"

"Sam!" Kabir exclaimed, interrupting what I presumed was to become a tirade. Sighing, Sam stopped, stepping back. Closing his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose, taking deep breaths. 

"Look bro, I'm sorry. But don't try to get in between this. It's long, complicated and super messy, so there's no point." I opened my mouth to speak, only to close it promptly, at a loss for words.

"Well see you tomorrow man." Kabir said, slapping my back in an attempt to be comforting. I smiled unfalteringly at him-there was a reason I was in drama class. 

"Let's go Sam." Sam had returned to glaring at the tiled floor, deep in thought, as he seemed to not have heard Kabir.

"Sam?" This time Kabir shook Sam, waking him from his reverie. He looked up, a quizzical expression on his face.

"Let's go. Without waiting for an answer, Kabir opened the main door, and dragging Sam along, left. Just like that-without any answers and leaving me utterly confused.

Sam's POV

Darkness. I stumbled through the dark oblivion in my room, my hands sticking out blindly, looking for the switch. Light. I sighed in relief, as the room was flooded in light. I couldn't be in the dark...not tonight.

Like a wounded soldier, I limped to my wardrobe and started opening the drawers in frenzy. I rummaged through the compartments, throwing stuff out in frustration, nearly giving up until...A thick, leather bound book, tattering at the seams was brought back to my bed. With the utmost care, I flipped it open. Picture by picture flashed in front of my eyes, each bringing fresh pain in the pit of my stomach. It felt as if a knife was stabbing me, 
repeatedly 

There were three kids: two boys and a girl, smiling cheekily in a treehouse. Riding bikes, swimming, giving two dogs a bath, dressed as pirates, at birthday parties blowing candles on the cakes together...My hand froze in mid-air, as I stared at the picture in front of me. The pain in my stomach increased, the knife twisting. 

A beautiful girl was kissing a guy on the cheek, holding a bouquet of flowers in her hand. It had been the day I had asked her out. The guy in the picture was me, and the girl kissing me was my ex-girlfriend, Alya. I swallowed the tears threatening to spill. Snapping the album shut, I threw it aside. I closed my eyes, sighing as the album crashed loudly into the wall. 

Alya...Al for short...I 
despised her. Loathed her for making me fall in love with her, and breaking my heart. Detested her for being so bloody amazing, that even after a year, my eyes searched for her in the hallway, stopped and stared at her house every time I passed by...But mostly, I abhorred her for the way my heart screamed in pain, when she refused to acknowledge us. Tonight confirmed my worst fears. I was still in love with her; and I hated, hated, HATED her for that. 

Kabir's POV

I groaned as my phone beeped, lighting up the room. I didn't need light, not tonight. All I needed was the darkness...to consume my biting guilt and me. It was all my fault. Well, maybe it was a little bit Sam's fault as well, but I had abandoned her. I guess he had abandoned her too, but he actually had a valid reason.

I was her best friend. The same one who had promised her that come what may; I was not to leave her. I rolled to my side, picking up my phone, and saw a message from Sam. 

U ok bro? 

Once again, the all-consuming guilt flooded every pore of my body. I knew he must have been feeling pretty miserable...when really, I was the one to blame. If only I had tried to smoothen things out between them. If only I had made them realize how utterly idiotic they were being. If only I had forced them to talk things out...

I buried my head in a pillow, groaning. It was too late for if onlys. There was no point in regretting things that I 
could have done, but didn't do. It was all my fault, and I hated myself for it. Every single day that I saw her alone in the hallway. When I passed by her house, and when I saw Sam look longingly in her direction...I detested myself. I closed my eyes hoping to escape the horrible feeling of self-loathing in the pit of my stomach. 

Maybe..just tonight, I might fall asleep without feeling like the biggest asshole in the world. There was a glimmer of hope, that the darkness would consume my crime, would cover it to be forgotten. But then I remembered the pain in her eyes, her face flashed in front of my closed eyes. There was no escaping it, I was trapped. 

The following 6 member(s) liked the above post:

sultanahabeebLoveToLaughpranita1202AmeresThe.Patthaaka.aamirkhanfan

LoveToLaugh

Senior Member

LoveToLaugh

BollyCurry Production Intern

Joined: 12 June 2012

Posts: 538

Posted: 12 August 2012 at 1:48am | IP Logged
I will say this again. You write very well. Clap
 
 he conversation between the three boys was so natural and fun. The reactions of all the four characters when Alya enters the scene, they were so sponataneous and believable. I really enjoyed reading it.
 
My favorite part, though, had to be Sam's POV. You really portrayed the emotions beautifully. It was heartwarming to read how, even after the breakup, he held onto the memories he shared with Alya. That he never did stop loving her. That everytime he passed by her house, a part of his heart hoped that they could be together again. You did a great job penning down such emotions into words.
 
You said that this is a story about forgiveness. But I think this is, more than anything else, a story of love that was never forgotten. A love that Sam and Alya shared. A love, a friendship that the three friends shared. A love that was always remembered and cherished.
 
I can't wait to read the next part of the story. Good job. And keep writing! Thumbs Up


Edited by LoveToLaugh - 12 August 2012 at 1:49am

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

sultanahabeebThe.Patthaaka.

ridzzi

Goldie

ridzzi

Joined: 25 September 2011

Posts: 1785

Posted: 12 August 2012 at 2:45am | IP Logged
hey ana...i hv gone through ur ff actually someone has given me the link of this story...so i thought to hv a look n i must say u r an amazing writer...
poor Al is alone,sam was going through pain,kabeer was guilty n jai was confused...nice dear...their point of views r really intresting,...so both still love each other n kabeer felt guilty on seeing them...so bad...hope everything will be fine b/w them soon...
do pm me...
lol to u...

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

sultanahabeeb

sweetsanyo

IF-Dazzler

sweetsanyo

Joined: 05 April 2010

Posts: 4270

Posted: 12 August 2012 at 2:51am | IP Logged
okey jii add me in ur pm list fr sure..
 life ke side effects i hav resad on rtw...
 main latest ud main jo sabse last main comment h by albatrosson life k side effects, .. dats me ..
 lov ur writing..

will read dis piece soon too...

till den res..

~~EDITED~~

undoubtedly u hav to pm me wen u update next ..

now cming to stry, a pinch on dostana...
trio... hmm..
basiclly u cn say that i m nt vry fond of trio...(s)..
 but m vry fond of ur writing, so i hav to actually read it,
past memos were really  great to read..
 best ws al's pov..

she is a coobie..
 but wat eva it is.. she dnt deserve to be abandoned... in shrt she can b a gud lover n a friend...(actually latter one is more in wrds..)

jay's character ws impressive...
may be he is gonna play the cupid here..
 th way he ignores al's accuse ws ice, really awesome..
 

kabir n sam's pov were touchy,
 i liked it a lot..

histry has many things unfolded...lets see wat happens next..

do pm me,




Edited by sweetsanyo - 12 August 2012 at 4:38am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

sultanahabeeb

sultanahabeeb

Groupbie

sultanahabeeb

Joined: 27 June 2012

Posts: 194

Posted: 12 August 2012 at 2:52am | IP Logged

hi dear loe u nd love ur ff nd thanks for giving the link

i was desperately waiting for new rtmc ff nd i got it thanksSmile

nd good work nd carry onClapClap 

ridzzi

Goldie

ridzzi

Joined: 25 September 2011

Posts: 1785

Posted: 12 August 2012 at 3:04am | IP Logged
actually i am here just couz this story is on rt-mc n after seeing Alya ,Sam n kabeer's condition i remebered a song from dostana

Kuch kam roshan hai roshani
kuch kam gili h barishein
kuch kam lehrati h hawa
kuch kam hai dil main khwahishein
tham sa gaya h, ye waqt aise
tere liye hi thehra ho jaise
hmmm

kiu meri saans bhi kuch phiki si h
dooriyon main hui nazdiki si h

phool meheke nahi kuch gumsum se hai
jaise roothe hue kuch ye tumse h
jaane kya ye baat h
har subah ab raat h
hmmm...

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

AY_candy_luversweetsanyo

sweetsanyo

IF-Dazzler

sweetsanyo

Joined: 05 April 2010

Posts: 4270

Posted: 12 August 2012 at 3:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ridzzi

actually i am here just couz this story is on rt-mc n after seeing Alya ,Sam n kabeer's condition i remebered a song from dostana

Kuch kam roshan hai roshani
kuch kam gili h barishein
kuch kam lehrati h hawa
kuch kam hai dil main khwahishein
tham sa gaya h, ye waqt aise
tere liye hi thehra ho jaise
hmmm

kiu meri saans bhi kuch phiki si h
dooriyon main hui nazdiki si h

phool meheke nahi kuch gumsum se hai
jaise roothe hue kuch ye tumse h
jaane kya ye baat h
har subah ab raat h
hmmm...


hit ekdumThumbs Up

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
Eyes And Vision [Original SS] : Chapter 10 : Pg 53

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 58 59

FragranceOfLove 466 15193 06 October 2012 at 7:08am
By Favouriteofall
Falling in love - Chapter 3 on pg2

2 3

..kiran.. 16 1071 10 May 2011 at 10:34am
By ..kiran..
FF:Loving A Monster........Chapter xoxoJasminexoxo 2 532 23 December 2010 at 3:15am
By mehnazferd
Blind Love: Page 1 chapter 5 curledup 0 469 30 October 2010 at 7:01pm
By curledup
I'll be there for you | Chapter 6 Pg 3 (6/13)

2 3

SuhanaSafar 21 8567 23 June 2009 at 3:51am
By Apsara.

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Writers Corner Topic Index

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.