Posted: 13 August 2012 at 3:02pm | IP Logged
QUOTE=marauder]So finally the second update is here. I even don't know how to begin. This update was just majestic. First part was beautifully written but still there was a suspense and a lingering fear. But in this update we come to know more about what had happened and with that come more understanding. The impact of Swayam's disappearence in Sharon's life was beautifully penned. It could not have been expressed more beautifully and more painfully.
Then comes the part of Sharon finally trying to live her life. And that part was really well written. How to go on and live her life by creating that path among those memories was just awesomely written. I just wish you had written about that part bit more as I think that was bit small.
And coming to the ending part. I am glad as a fan that this OS has happy ending but I would have been equally satisfied as a reader if you would have decided to stop this OS here only.
Shishir, thanks for such encouraging comments. The first part was my try on bringing back the hope in Sharon's character. Swayam's loss is a major personal loss to her and his sudden disappearance made her life less populated. Dance being her passion, she engulfed herself within it to try living her life the normal way possible, so you felt that part short..will see if i can do some justice to it in the next part. And thanks to saying that you would have been as happy if i had decided to leave it at the first chapter. That means alot.
Originally posted by Sawyer_TomBeautifully written Sudha. No like really. I loved the way you started the update. What intricate detailing! I did end up visualizing the whole thing. And then that bit about the father and his daughter seemed a bit random at first but you fitted it in smoothly. Nice work there!
And I liked that line How can my life be at the mercy of someone's existence. That felt so Sharon-like. And then the mystery gradually started unfolding. So it was supposed to be their wedding day and Swayam is out somewhere in a hospital bed fighting for his life and Sharon thinks he is dead? I like the way you've written that part.
The bit where you've described the daily routine that she makes herself go through every single day portrayed such sadness that it made me melancholy. Even after all this life does go on . The dance part was also nicely written. And everytime you bring in the contrast between her past and her present by using the sun and the darkness as metaphors you amply justify your title.
The end was the a little oxymoronic and I'm not sure whether I should feel happy or be devastated. I guess I'll have to wait for the update. Update SOON! And thanks for the PM. Nidhi.
The red line is what i think, sharon is all about. her love towards Swayam is undying..no doubt about it, but she can't lead her life at no ones mercy.
The first part was my try to bring back the hope in Sharon's life, she may have forgotten that after every sunset, there comes a beautiful sunrise.
I am glad that i could justify my title, as at start it was just a random pick and then i started working around it. About the end, the next update..will clear out everything. will update soon.
Thanks again Nidhi.
Originally posted by meeveeSuds, very very sorry, I hav had a messy schedule this week...just taking a breather now so excuse the late comments ... first of all very relieving to know that Sharon is ok... in the sense that there was an apprehension she might harm herself...the path down memory lane was again touchingly described and it is a positive hope that you gav by showing Sharon carrying on...even tho numb to her own feelings, but living to giv joy to others...and thru her dance releasing pent up emotions, tho not exactly glad where u stopped but understandable...hope u update soon once ur bac
No problem Meera, you never have to be sorry again..please never. I am happy you take ur time and read it and give ur generous comments. Sharon can never harm herself, the very thought was just the agony in her thinking. She is so head strong that she wants to reply to the pain she is going through the same way, but later when she gains her senses, she thinks straight.
Dance is her way of renting in the pain and will update the next part as soon as possible.
QUOTE=Savage]How come you call this an OS and drag it to a potential part three, Sudha? HOW? There's no shame in writing a full-fledged FF. It will help you dwell on your writing yeah, will make you tons better.
This part is very beautifully written. It is by far the most expressive and emotional prose I have read from you so it won't be wrong to say that you've justified the nothingness of Sharon's life aptly. Nothingness is a greater form of suffering than pain.
She hoped her way back home, anticipating life just as today. - There's a tender bitterness in this sentence. Sharon is conflicted between appreciating and envying the state of this little girl. Beautifully penned, this entire paragraph!
And Swayum's proposal is so Swayum-like. It's genuine and cheesy and you've written the bit so well I could imagine it the clearest.
Wonderful update. (:
Sorry for the delay, I am.
Officially will call it an SS by the next update
Nothingness, yeah thats what Swayam's absence does to her life. Thats the greater pain she has ever felt and is trying different approach to cope up to it. The red part, bang on..i feel so happy that i could get my POV clear. Thats Sharon for you, she wants to have a upper hand in any given situation, though she is conflicted, it gives her hope, to continue on with life.
Swayam's proposal had to a bit filmy or cheesy, but its so like him and so genuine that its comes from his heart and reaches her.
Thanks again..and no prob for the delay..though i got a bit scared and restless
Edited by Sudha-SK - 13 August 2012 at 4:43pm