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Did Shyama behave like Nidhi's mother? (Page 3)

fanktlk IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 4:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sujatha.rao

I don't want to be accused of insulting people's intelligence here...so I am not addressing this to anyone...but my point has nothing to do with her advice...I have already said her advice was sound...!

I was only talking about what I missed as a mother...that is all!

Sujatha, Also Shyama ma jaisi hai... not a mother... she can try and be there for Nidhi but can she really commit to share responsibilities... I doubt it..

Thereby the comfort a mother will provide is missing, however the comfort an aunt who is sensible, the best friend's mother will provide is very very apt and sufficient. 

I felt mentioning that Nidhi can have a career and kids both was missing... however a subtle remark that career can wait but kids won't... I think Shyama meant the same thing.

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Sujatha.rao

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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 4:15am | IP Logged
Originally posted by alkaparmart

sujataji,aap shaayad yeh kehena chahati hai ki,aap ne woh motherwala emotion aur main tumhare saath hoon hamesha wala hug aur feeling miss kiya,right?as mother stands everytime with her daughter in each and every situation.


Exactly, Alka...aap ne sahi pakda...main bas yehi kehna chahti hoon ki kal wali scene mei mujhe Shyama ke roop me ek acche counsellor toh nazar aayi par kahin ek Maa ki mamta missing ti!

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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 4:18am | IP Logged
Sujata: if shayama aunty hd hugged nidhi then she wud be mother of her in ur words.. Sme ppl are more into words than actions.. Shayam aunty is one of them.. I dnt think if a mother doesn't hug their child, doesn't mean she is nt showing complete affection of being on her child's side..

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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 4:19am | IP Logged
Originally posted by fanktlk

Originally posted by Sujatha.rao

I don't want to be accused of insulting people's intelligence here...so I am not addressing this to anyone...but my point has nothing to do with her advice...I have already said her advice was sound...!

I was only talking about what I missed as a mother...that is all!

Sujatha, Also Shyama ma jaisi hai... not a mother... she can try and be there for Nidhi but can she really commit to share responsibilities... I doubt it..

Thereby the comfort a mother will provide is missing, however the comfort an aunt who is sensible, the best friend's mother will provide is very very apt and sufficient. 

I felt mentioning that Nidhi can have a career and kids both was missing... however a subtle remark that career can wait but kids won't... I think Shyama meant the same thing.


Divya, that was all my point was...like you said, she gave sound advice as an aunt or someone who is a mothe-figure r...I only said that  I felt the absence of a mother there...

Somewhere the maternal feeling was missing...I wonder how DB would have reacted if Nidhi had opened her heart out to her and tried to explain her insecurities...she might have even understood...for all her shouting and screaming and pressurizing, I see DB more as Nidhi's mother than Shyama!

And yes, she did say people juggle careers and family...but she never spoke of the family support which was the key there!


Edited by Sujatha.rao - 08 August 2012 at 4:20am

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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 4:20am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ithasme

Sujata: if shayama aunty hd hugged nidhi then she wud be mother of her in ur words.. Sme ppl are more into words than actions.. Shayam aunty is one of them.. I dnt think if a mother doesn't hug their child, doesn't mean she is nt showing complete affection of being on her child's side..


Harshal, I agree,,,people are different...but I wanted to see maternal warmth there...I did not feel it...hence ,my post...others may have felt differently...that is all!
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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 4:40am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sujatha.rao



Tanu, her hubby and she did not have that all imp convo for him to assure her one way or the other...

The whole night convo after return from RanJi wedding was serious and deep enouf! 

And I don't think it is unrealistic for DB or Shyama to help Nidhi at whichever point she chooses to have a child...

My mother was a professor of literature...she turned down primcipalship because it meant she would have to go to another town...and she wanted to be there for me and my baby so I could complete my studies...I have a friend who used to take the local train to drop her kid off at her mom's place on her way to work...she would pick up the kid in the evening after work...

How long did u take break from ur career after u had the baby?? Ofcourse.. its possible... nything is possible.. but its not very realistic.. ! Infact i hv seen cases in my own office where the lady have had to take a break from their career for atleast a year  to come back to routine! My issue is not having a baby. .everyone should..  but Nidhis desire is not that out of the way that it cant be accommodated .. if one wants!


Where there is a will, there is a way!

Exactly. .had Ashu had the will to encourage or even remotely as even understand Nidhis desire.. he too wuld hv tried to find a middle way..! Why should the onus lie on Nidhi alone..? 

Please don't minconstrue this to mean that I am asking Nidhi to give up everything else and fall pregnant tomorrow..my point is she can manage baby and career whenever she chooses to have the kid, with just a little bit of help from family...that point could have been made by Shyama since they were discussing the issue!




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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 4:46am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Armu4eva

Originally posted by Sujatha.rao



Tanu, her hubby and she did not have that all imp convo for him to assure her one way or the other...

The whole night convo after return from RanJi wedding was serious and deep enouf!

They were only debating their desires...not the issues associated with it...that is my biggest grouse...why can't this couple have a decent convo ever...and I would like to see Ashutosh to be a bit more participative in household tasks even now...


And I don't think it is unrealistic for DB or Shyama to help Nidhi at whichever point she chooses to have a child...

My mother was a professor of literature...she turned down primcipalship because it meant she would have to go to another town...and she wanted to be there for me and my baby so I could complete my studies...I have a friend who used to take the local train to drop her kid off at her mom's place on her way to work...she would pick up the kid in the evening after work...

How long did u take break from ur career after u had the baby?? Ofcourse.. its possible... nything is possible.. but its not very realistic.. ! Infact i hv seen cases in my own office where the lady have had to take a break from their career for atleast a year  to come back to routine! My issue is not having a baby. .everyone should..  but Nidhis desire is not that out of the way that it cant be accommodated .. if one wants!


My daughter was just about six months old when I went back to do my masters...she grew up in my mother's college...I joke with her saying she is the first kid who went to college before school...


Where there is a will, there is a way!

Exactly. .had Ashu had the will to encourage or even remotely as even understand Nidhis desire.. he too wuld hv tried to find a middle way..! Why should the onus lie on Nidhi alone..?

The onus certainly does not lie on Nidhi...the problem is they are trying to resolve the issue by not discussing it...and that makes no sense...if they could sit and talk about it, a middle ground could be easily found.,..she says they should not talk about it and like a fool, he agrees...as  the older and more mature person, he should have taken the initiative to talk to her and understand her insecurities

Please don't minconstrue this to mean that I am asking Nidhi to give up everything else and fall pregnant tomorrow..my point is she can manage baby and career whenever she chooses to have the kid, with just a little bit of help from family...that point could have been made by Shyama since they were discussing the issue!




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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 4:51am | IP Logged
if he argued more at that time we would say that he is forcing nidhi,and we always find out ashu's fault that he is more matured and he should understand whole situation.at that debate too,nidhi was talking more strongly than ashu.

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