Anandi: Better DIL than Daughter

I'm usually a huge fan of the character, but I really feel the CV's messed up when it came to her relationship with her own parents.

1. Despite Bhago standing up for her so ferociously (she outdid even Khajan), Anandi did not go home with her, not even for a short while. And why? Because of the whole " you taught me not to leave saasra until I'm dead". Is that really the time to hold on to such a meaningless "principle" and taunt your mother? More than Jagya leaving Anandi, I feel that Anandi refusing to go back home with her parents is what finally broke Bhago's spirit and body. At least if Anandi had gone with them, Bhago could've been happy having her closeby so she could help her daughter in her time of need. The NO was a probably a huge slap for Bhago. Any normal mother would have felt deeply betrayed and slighted.

2. How on earth did her mother get to such a state of health without Anandi knowing? 😲 Anandi did more than was required for the village people and her in-laws, most of whom were not worth it. Couldn't she have taken care of her own mother, who loved her so much and was very much worth it? Especially when she knows she is the only child! As an only child myself, I don't understand how she could neglect her own parents for her in-laws after such Jagya left her. It's quite obvious that the Singh family would not have minded at all, so the usual excuse of "saasrewalon ko accha nahin lagega" is not valid. Anandi is all about duty towards everyone, so how could she forget the most important duty of an only child i.e. looking after your parents when they need you?! 😡

 It's almost as if the CVs decided "she didn't take their help in her darkest hour, she stuck it out by herself. So she's not indebted to them, she doesn't need to help them."

I'm NOT bashing Anandi. But all this is inconsistent with the character's history.

And this is just being highlighted by the desperate way in which she is trying to appease her mother's soul. I'm sure Bhago, once she would've met Shiv, would not have wanted Anandi to pressurize a wonderful person like him for marriage just to reduce her own guilt. I honor the idea of a parent's last wish, but given all this, I found myself saying to my computer screen as I was watching the epi "When Bhago was alive, you couldn't have cared less. What do you think doing all this now will accomplish, Anandi?"

All this mess is due to unplanned exit of bhago...
Now coming to Anandi's refusal to go along with bhago, why shd she leave haveli when she has the legal right to stay there till divorce to jagya...?the mistake was made by bhairon, as he promised to look after her welfare @ the time of her marriage...going back to Bilaria is by no means a solution to her problems...more over it's a hindrance to her advancement..if she is settled she can get her parents to jaitsar n stay with them...after divorce...

Now that the divorce is over, bhago's exit was used for fulfilment of deathwish that acts as a set up for an arranged marriage by bhago...
Bhago herself did never think / wish anandi shd b informed of her illness...

This content was originally posted by: sreevask

All this mess is due to unplanned exit of bhago...
Now coming to Anandi's refusal to go along with bhago, why shd she leave haveli when she has the legal right to stay there till divorce to jagya...?the mistake was made by bhairon, as he promised to look after her welfare @ the time of her marriage...going back to Bilaria is by no means a solution to her problems...more over it's a hindrance to her advancement..if she is settled she can get her parents to jaitsar n stay with them...after divorce...

Now that the divorce is over, bhago's exit was used for fulfilment of deathwish that acts as a set up for an arranged marriage by bhago...
Bhago herself did never think / wish anandi shd b informed of her illness...

But just because she has the legal right to stay at haveli and it's Bhairon's failure to protect her doesn't give her the right to hurt her mother's feelings.  Also, to stay behind at your in laws and not once go to see your parents just because it's "hindrance to self-advancement" can be called downright selfish. Perhaps going to Bilaria would not be a solution, but one could also say that while staying in the haveli allowed her to have more professional/educational freedom due to her in-laws guilt, it also emotionally repressed her. Maybe if she had spent at least some time at her maika's, she could have been able to share/express her grief and be emotionally freed from Jagya much faster. Staying with the family of the man who abandons you is bound to limit one's freedom of emotional expression.  

In a village set up, seeing the daughter alone @ maika (except for pregnancy / with children n husband in festivals )is a living/daily death... That too as an abandoned wife...
Think of such reasons rather simply assigning anandi as the sole reason for bhago's death...
Had Bhago/khazan ever expressed this logic anywhere?
Anandi never wanted to hurt her parents in her village as a failure case,multiplying their pain

I completely agree with you on point no.2. Anandi, who shares everybody's sorrows and grief was completely unaware of her own mother's plight is just unacceptable. As sreevask said, this is a problem with the unplanned exit of Bhago's character.

About point no.1: Anandi gave this as a reason for not going, but what was the actual reason? She knew DS and family are heartbroken over Jagya's cheating and feel guilty for Anandi's state. They were supporting Anandi, their DIL, rather than their own son Jagya. In this situation, if Anandi leaves with her mother, it will only increase the family's grief and guilty feeling. It would be as if even Anandi blames the family for her state. She stayed back with them in a way saying 'I know you guys are not guilty and you all love me. Jagya has left me, but you guys haven't, so I will stay here'. It is more of moral ethics than legal rights.

Exactly...haveli log had gone to that extent to forego their own child for the sake of Anandi...
No point in leaving them alone...

This content was originally posted by: sreevask

In a village set up, seeing the daughter alone @ maika (except for pregnancy / with children n husband in festivals )is a living/daily death... That too as an abandoned wife...
Think of such reasons rather simply assigning anandi as the sole reason for bhago's death...
Had Bhago/khazan ever expressed this logic anywhere?
Anandi never wanted to hurt her parents in her village as a failure case,multiplying their pain

Completely agree with you about the village mindset. I hadn't considered that. I'd just like to clarify that nowhere did I say that Anandi was the sole reason. However behavior undeniably did have a large contribution. I respectfully disagree with the idea that by staying with her parents, Anandi would have multiplied their pain. Yes, they would have got taunts from people, but how can the presence of one's own child near one's self ever be a pain to a loving parents like them?

This content was originally posted by: anaamica

I completely agree with you on point no.2. Anandi, who shares everybody's sorrows and grief was completely unaware of her own mother's plight is just unacceptable. As sreevask said, this is a problem with the unplanned exit of Bhago's character.

About point no.1: Anandi gave this as a reason for not going, but what was the actual reason? She knew DS and family are heartbroken over Jagya's cheating and feel guilty for Anandi's state. They were supporting Anandi, their DIL, rather than their own son Jagya. In this situation, if Anandi leaves with her mother, it will only increase the family's grief and guilty feeling. It would be as if even Anandi blames the family for her state. She stayed back with them in a way saying 'I know you guys are not guilty and you all love me. Jagya has left me, but you guys haven't, so I will stay here'. It is more of moral ethics than legal rights.

Good point. Most likely that is what Anandi thought. But I feel maybe if she just went and stayed for a couple of months with her parents, she would have been fair to both sides. She gave Singh family the chance to atone for their mistakes, but what about giving her parents that chance too? They were also responsible for giving her marriage into that household as a child bride.

I agree...A woman must always keep in touch with mayka inspite of all the busy life and even in both happiness and sorrow...
What does a parent expect more than this?
But none of the above happened...during her sarpanch days, her award ceremony, her divorce...
She was their only child yaar...I know its CV's fault that they completely forgot anandis parents but a woman should never do like this...

For your first point why Anandi didn't go with Bhago at that time...she just couldn't leave singhs DS had an heart attack remember when she tried to leave first ...she couldn't give more pain to her second and most important one we should understand is that she didn't want her parents to face humilation and problems in village what will they say in their village our daughter is left by her husband and he married someone else and her sasural kicked her out ..she would have been blamed for all and her parents would have faced so much insult ..at that time Anandi was no sarpanch of Jaitser  no so famous of doing right works the blame would have been come on her failure ad wife and daughter in law ...if we see her villagers now came to know about whats happened in Anandi Jagaya's life