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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Arnav's Patchwork Quilt Of Redemption (edited) (Page 7)

arisai Goldie
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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 1:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by BlueMystique

Rafa! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

You get the gist! I love you for not being afraid to call bull shit on what apparently is...bullshit!

I haven't watched the episodes in 3 weeks! Which you would know, rafa, is major for me...because i was one of those people fan-girling over ASR when he was actually ASR.

I hung on to the show for as long as I possibly could, without insulting my own intellect.

I get from your post that he is trying to make up for what he did to her previously, by acting as he should have in those situations?

To me it feels like he is doing everything short of hitting her over the head (wait, didn't he do that already?LOL) and making her lose her memory.

Forcing someone to forgive, to forget, is never going to work. In fact, even if he did say sorry, Khushi is not obligated to forgive him. What he did to her, is still doing to her, is neither forgivable nor forgettable.

But a sorry would sure go a long way in making her trust him again.

ASR's biggest asset is also his biggest weakness - his attitude. Unless and until he loses that in front of Khushi, he is never going to earn her love.

Love you sachin!

PS: I gotta admit, i do love Sanaya and Barun's antics, but i wouldn't go as far as to say I love them! That would be creepy!

Exactly. Khushi's seen in the past how when Arnav is genuinely sorry for his assholishness, he apologises. She KNOWS that he says the word when he means it and that when he does, it means that he's realised the true extent of the pain he's caused her. 

Like you said, I think it's about trust and losing his attitude. I literally cannot shake the feeling that he keeps trying to BUY her love and forgiveness... and it leaves me with a bad aftertaste that Arnav's character is being reduced to this. I thought he and Khushi were supposed to innately understand each other- so why doesn't he EVER realise what it is she actually wants?!

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

arisai Goldie
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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 1:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Rabba-Ve-Delena

Originally posted by arisai

Therefore until and unless he apologises again this time, I cannot believe that he truly appreciates the depths of the pain and suffering he put her through... And his road to redemption will remain incomplete.


Rafa, you've typed every thought that went through mine when watching each of those episodes last week, in all those moments when Arnav worked on "wooing" his wife back whether it was pushing her to the edge and leaving her little choice or attempting to make her smile by buying her heartfelt, genuine presents. Bladrin, give me a hug fam.Hug

None of it really counts if he finds it so fundamentally difficult to apologise, I mean yes, he has apologised when she tripped over herself behaving like a TV for him but it was so vague and clouded, what was it he was apologising about? Forcing her to dance or the multiple times he's pressured her into doing whatever he's wanted.

In a way, it's incredibly selfish, especially in that scene where in desperation he asks Khushi whether she is ready to let go of it all so quickly, let it all be finished in a moment? I don't think he ever understood why Khushi resisted.

BUT @bold - the issue isn't one sided, it's not just Arnav. It's shoddy writing and screenplay with little thought about characterisations.

Here is my fundamental issue with all of it, Arnav needs everything spelled out for him and I don't think he actually appreciates how much he has insulted, demeaned and both physically and mentally abused her because she's never held him accountable. She's always swept it under the carpet. As feisty and cunning as Khushi is, she behaves like a doormat when Arnav really wrongs her, the only time she ever protected her self-worth was after the GH incident. SP bahu syndrome.

So it's a two way street, she needs to make him realise of how absolutely wrong some of his actions were, but she doesn't.

Just like he doesn't understand how wrong his actions were and probably doesn't appreciate the need to apologise. So he won't.

Honestly, it's screwed up characterisations and screenplay. It's erratic without consistency.

I agree, Khushi's at fault too. I think in a lot of ways, it's down to the dilution of their characters over the past months- in the past, Khushi would have called Arnav's behaviour as BS and TOLD him just what he put her through. When he asked her "Is it that easy for you to just throw everything away?" she would have said "Yes! It is! Because what exactly is it that I'm throwing away? Six months of torture, mistrust, punishment and suffering- for what? For a lie. Something that could have been cleared up in TWO MINUTES if you'd just given me the chance to tell you the truth."


But she didn't.
And he didn't.

Because this is Star Plus.
And nobody EVER talks to ANYBODY in Star Plus. 

You're right. Arnav only ever says the word when he's truly sorry and when he actually realises how badly he's hurt someone. If Khushi carries on as though everything's just dandy and prances around trying to cheer him up- how will he ever realise that? 

It's just SO frustrating!!

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Arshi143mayuri099Cogito_Ergo_Sum

arisai Goldie
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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 2:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vkp1989

I loved his style of redemption.

You love the fact that he clearly understands NOTHING of what he's put her through and clearly has absolutely no idea what his wife and the woman he's supposed to understand perfectly and completely has gone through because of him?

You love that Arnav is trying to buy her forgiveness instead of humbling himself in front of her by genuinely apologising, that he's cheapening her worth by suggesting she CAN be bought?


Good for you.


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mayuri099TheSmurfsCogito_Ergo_Sum-DKS-.Kiran.

arisai Goldie
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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 2:06am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Chinnu-

Originally posted by arisai

Disclaimer: I don't love Barun. I don't love Sanaya. I don't know either of them. It's enough hassle just loving all the people in my life who I DO know, I don't have time to waste it on random celebrities. I don't, however hate them either. 

First of all I love your disclaimer, I don't love either of them either I adore their acting though. There's no point loving someone who doesn't have a clue who you are. Sad but true people.

Few words in this world hold as much power as this one:  'Sorry'.

It has the ability to stop wars, heal hearts and equalise everybody regardless of caste, creed or character. 

It's one which I honestly believe only cowards fear to say. It commands respect and brings with it an ocean of forgiveness. It can fix wounds and rifts you never even knew were there.


Which is why I it saddens me that Arnav hasn't said it yet.

When the words sorry is said , I can understand why Arnav has not apologized yet. He's an egoistic person, and those that are egoistic find it very hard to swallow their ego's and admit they were wrong and apologise to people. I am saying this because sometimes I am one of those people it's not that I have a big ego because trust me I don't. It's just hard for me to say sorry because I feel like I have acted like a complete fool and I wouldn't know where to start.  Arnav has had many chances to say sorry, he's capable of saying sorry as we saw in the past where he apologised to her so beautifully. I also don't like the way some aspects of the track is going. We know where Arnav gets his egoistic form from, his dadi.



Oh, I understand this 'unique, ASR style' Road to Redemption- he's going back through time and patching over the painful memories with new, happier ones. He is trying to fix the past with the present... 


- 'I HATE YOU.' replaced with, 'I love you, Khushi.'


-Her looking after and nursing him replaced with him looking after her.

- The pearls he ripped replaced with a brand new pearl necklace.

- The memory of sleeping in the cold outside replaced with the 'honour' of sleeping in his bed beside his 37 degree body. 

- The gift from his Nani which he broke replaced by the simpler ones which truly make Khushi happy.

- His not wanting to touch her and being disgusted to so much as breathe the same air as her replaced by his libido suddenly overflowing and his wanting to hug her at any given moment as well as share his breath with hers with the constant FAILED kisses.

- All the times he didn't stand by her or trust her or respect her or give her a position as his wife replaced by standing beside her in front of his own family, against his Jeeja and now, his Dadi (though I would contest his intentions here- is he doing it just to stand by Khushi, or is he just doing it to fulfill some childish urge to rebel against his strict grandmother- I've included it purely because I think it's important and I guess it is possible to be doing both).



But that's not how it works.


No it doesn't work like that,  he doesn't understand that the one thing Khushi wants from him is to apologise if he actually does say sorry then the real story would start. Then they could actually try moving past where they are now and resolve their problems and actually attemp to lea a normal life.


You can try and tell me that the way he's doing things is less superficial: He's remembering individual pains he caused her and then sticking a plaster on them/ stitching them up. But if this is what you're trying to argue, then you just don't get it.

Patching up a wound without disinfecting it first can end up causing even more harm.


What Arnav's doing at the minute is artificial and it leaves me with the gross feeling of him almost trying to buy Khushi's forgiveness. 

But for the love of all that is holy- Khushi forgave him almost the second she realised why he did what he did. 


What he's doing at the minute is to make her forget. It's just how things work in his head: forget the past and perfect the present. I wrote HERE about how Arnav's bulldozer style of getting to love completely overshadowed the softer, gentler road Khushi took- and once again, his demolition style attempt at redemption has completely knocked Khushi's need to be angry. His persistent "YOU MUST FORGIVE ME!" has destroyed her right to say "NOT YET!"



Khushi doesn't need or want pearls or presents or even for Arnav to become the Perfect Pati. 


She needs an apology. She needs Arnav to shatter his ego, admit his mistakes and apologise to her. Say the word.


"Sorry." 


Even if Khushi herself doesn't realise it yet.


Like I said before, it's an equaliser.

Until he actually SAYS the word and truly humbles himself in front of her, until he stops with this high-and-mighty, I'm-better-than-you act of 'I will protect you' and finally makes his way to 'We will protect each other'...


He has realised before how much his words and actions hurt her and he apologised (giving us some of the most perfect scenes of IPKKND thus far). 


Therefore until and unless he apologises again this time, I cannot believe that he truly appreciates the depths of the pain and suffering he put her through... And his road to redemption will remain incomplete.


I think they are going to make him apologise later and knowing Khushi she has two options.


Forgive and Forget - continue living with him and forget what he did so they can start their lives together.

Forgive and don't forget- She can move away from him after the contract ends so he knows how much it hurt her and that she can't live with him.

I think we need to see that broken Arnav trying to get Khushi to forgive him, I want to see that painful Arnav the one who was broken when he found out about Khushi and Shyam.




Yes! Broken Arnav is what I want to see.

Remember the farak padta hai track? Where he apologised over Lavanya's shoulder?
He actually cried for her then.

If he could cry for her just because he tried to buy her a sari and cheapen her and that hurt her, then HOW is Khushi supposed to believe that he feels ANY genuine remorse right now with this Laad Governor style of buying her gifts and flirting with her? 

Arnav needs to say sorry- it'll choke up in his throat when he does and I know- I know how much harder it is to say sorry when you're actually in the wrong... but that's precisely why he needs to say it. At the minute- I just don't feel like he gets what he put Khushi through and until he apologises, I won't believe that he truly does.

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Arshi143mayuri099TheSmurfs-Chinnu-Cogito_Ergo_Sum

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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 2:12am | IP Logged
Originally posted by icegurl789

beautiful post...

agree with whatever points you mentioned...practically since the very time he returned back to RM and after that much heated conversation b/w the duo he never felt the surge to go back to her and atleast apologize for all the misdeeds he did...still he had the audacity to go back to her remind her of the contract , get her back into his life by hook or crook...not for a single second the thought crossed his mind what khusi really wants and give her some much needed space...

i wonder if this was just a method of winning over his lady love khusi and not accepting the very fact that he had been defeated that wud eventually churn up his big fat ego, i guess this realization that he illtreated khusi has never dawned on him...if this is what ppl call redemption i really m speechless!

throwing thousands of grave allegations on a young girl of 23 and then one day  realising his unconditional love for her and all of a sudden back to his mission to please her with all the luxuries he has at hand...only becoz ASR can never take a NO...indeed shocks me!

i wonder if this all is a mere game for him...winning her over and then again upsetting her,again back to wooing her...it leaves me with nothing but with a thought that how is this girl holding onto her sanity?

no bashing session...but time and again the Raizadas are acting dimpit mean and i m hating it - the servant thing has got on my nerves though i did love the way arnav stood for khusi but thrz more to go to make her feel wanted and loved!

the road to redemption is gonna be long and tiring and he needs to be calm and relaxed and be by the side of his ladylove khusi!

a simple sorry wud do no harm!

Ahhh! You've hit the nail on the head.

Arnav's treating Khushi like a toy and their relationship like a game. What he is failing to realise is that HE is not a reward in and of himself. He isn't thinking about what she wants because he's so DAMN focused on what HE wants. 

He might be sorry... But he clearly thinks that just because he had a reason... he doesn't have to acknowledge what he did to Khushi was wrong.

But it was. 

And until he realises that, he's going to carry on with this pathetic attempt at "redemption" instead of truly feeling Khushi's pain and APOLOGISING.

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

arisai Goldie
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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 2:17am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sweetgal19

Beautifully written dear ! Clap Well said,and yes a sorry would have more than sufficed and Khushi would would have been really happy with just a sorry but yes he hasnt said so till now.However we have always known that Khushi and ASR always understand each other with no words(remember the telepathic convo,how when ASR couldnt talk,Khushi was his mouth piece etc) so what i'm trying to say here is that i'm sure she must have an inkling that ASR 's attitude towards her is changing and that he has evolved from what he was when she first met him.Moreover Khushi is also one such character who always finds happiness in other's happiness.I'm not justifiying ASR's actions,i'm just saying that yes he is doing things in his own way and i hope that one day he would actually tell her sorry !Smile

Hehe, sorry for this but I'm going to end up turning your own words against you (SORRY SORRY SORRY BLAADRIN, NO HARM INTENDED AND I SEND YOU MUCH INSINCERE INTERNET LOVE IN EXCHANGE LOL). 

Arnav and Khushi are supposed to understand each other without words... I totally agree. That was the thing about their relationship. It's why he apologised all those times before. So why can he not NOW realise that he's going about this all wrong?

The only thing I can come up with is that he doesn't hold himself responsible for Khushi's pain just because he had a reason for doing what he did. He doesn't think he's in the wrong here. And therefore, he's not REALLY sorry. I think only when he realises that just because he forced a wedding upon Khushi BECAUSE he's a hot-tempered, irrational, idiotic, mistrustful arsehole will he apologise.

And only then will his Road to Redemption- the correct one- actually begin.

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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 2:34am | IP Logged
Great post Rafa... loved your analysis... yes Arnav needs to say he is sorry
Arshi143 Senior Member
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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 2:49am | IP Logged
Yes he needs to say sorry n yes would love to hear it, half the time now I can't understand what he is doing... But I feel mayb he doesn't know where to start? It's easier to apologize when u make small mistakes, when u realize u hav made gigantic ones and that too numerous times, and u feel awful about it, u do feel like a sorry isn't enuf... He knows she loves him and has forgiven him everything, so even when he says the much needed sorry she is just gonna say I forgave u a long time ago or sty... So mayb that's why he is tryin to rewrite old bad memories with new ones

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