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**The RaSiKri Poems Wishing Well** NOTE: on pg 33 (Page 31)

The_Inner_Voice Goldie
The_Inner_Voice
The_Inner_Voice

Joined: 05 July 2012
Posts: 1825

Posted: 22 September 2012 at 3:26pm | IP Logged

@ Lakshmi: 

This is with regards to your feedback on:

Wish Penny put in by Sun  : Raghavi separation scene

Thanks for the detailed feedback Lakshmi Hug


The last word of the first and the third lines in every couplet were not meant to be rhyming dear...and this was done purposely cause each line is too short in itself.Wink

So I only made the second and the fourth lines rhyme in the end.

Glad that you could relate to the poem and were able to decipher the inner meaning of the same.Big smile

The Avis and the banners have helped me  make the lines more presentable.Big smile

You say that this poem had you in daze... well then its time to wake up dear... there a few more poems to be checked out!!!!LOL

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Ephemera

Athene Viewbie
Athene
Athene

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Posts: 121587

Posted: 22 September 2012 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by The_Inner_Voice

Originally posted by khota_sikka_sri

Sneha puri Ramayan hi likh dali RaghaVi ki. LOL It was awesome!!! Sneha is back with a bang!!!! Clap



Sri Hug... Haan yaar that wish was long pending ...and the penny had begun to rust...so socha i'll salvage it n got on... before I loose any sense with CV shoving the crap down our throats.

Glad you found it awesome... and yup i'm back wih a bang... arey itne dinon se head bang kar rahi thi episodes dekh kar... but then kal ka HC ke act ne mujhe inspire kiya... Dekha HC ka asar!!!...wish the CVs knew what is meant by inspiring in true sense of word!!!


HC ko aapna guide bana kar likhti raho. Wink

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The_Inner_VoiceEphemera

The_Inner_Voice Goldie
The_Inner_Voice
The_Inner_Voice

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Posts: 1825

Posted: 22 September 2012 at 5:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by khota_sikka_sri

HC ko aapna guide bana kar likhti raho. Wink


Sola ane sacchi baat boli Sri Wink... Next wish is on its way...rough draft ready... will be posting in a day or two. Big smile


Edited by The_Inner_Voice - 22 September 2012 at 5:46pm

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Ephemera

Athene Viewbie
Athene
Athene

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Posted: 22 September 2012 at 6:00pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by The_Inner_Voice

Originally posted by khota_sikka_sri

HC ko aapna guide bana kar likhti raho. Wink


Sola ane sacchi baat boli Sri Wink... Next wish is on its way...rough draft ready... will be posting in a day or two. Big smile

Will be waiting for it. Big smile

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The_Inner_VoiceEphemera

Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz
Ephemera
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Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10956

Posted: 23 September 2012 at 10:33am | IP Logged
Originally posted by The_Inner_Voice


@ Lakshmi: 

This is with regards to your feedback on:

Wish Penny put in by Betty : Raghavi Hug n Kiss

Thanks for the detailed feedback Lakshmi Hug

About the rhyming words... glad that you saw it more than mere rhyming words.Big smile


As for the lines the lines which you were not able to connect with the analogy of dew drops and closeness:

"I just want to hold you close,
Just like a dew on a blossomed rose..."


The views of the saints on the same  throws light on the aspect of detachment.

Whereas I see no scope for detachment here... rather attachment so I perceive it in a different way...as:

A dew on a rose is not a part of the rose, but it gets the chance of being close enough to caress the petals the most... and add to the enticing beauty... it may slip away or wither away as the noon sun increases its pace...but all the while when it is on the rose... It only adds to the divinity of the rose.


And if the mere mention of that Raghavi kiss made it difficult for you to hold on to clarity of thoughts as you put it... Can you imagine my state at writing those lines Day Dreaming... no wonder I could manage only 8 lines LOL

And a warm hug is what you shall get ... Hug for your reaction!!!

@red :- thanks di for opening up a new vista of understanding to me...Hug
yeah i can imagine what Raghav is capable of to our mindsLOL
aww thank you di for the hug!!
Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz
Ephemera
Ephemera

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10956

Posted: 23 September 2012 at 10:39am | IP Logged
Originally posted by The_Inner_Voice


@ Lakshmi: 

This is with regards to your feedback on:

Wish Penny put in by Sun  : Raghavi separation scene

Thanks for the detailed feedback Lakshmi Hug


The last word of the first and the third lines in every couplet were not meant to be rhyming dear...and this was done purposely cause each line is too short in itself.Wink

So I only made the second and the fourth lines rhyme in the end.

Glad that you could relate to the poem and were able to decipher the inner meaning of the same.Big smile

The Avis and the banners have helped me  make the lines more presentable.Big smile

You say that this poem had you in daze... well then its time to wake up dear... there a few more poems to be checked out!!!!LOL
@green :- thanks for the info di.Smile.will keep in mind next timeEmbarrassed
@blue :- am glad you could get what i was trying to ferret out and sayHug!!Smile i thought i made a bad job as i was all sad about the separation..and was finding it difficult to gather my thoughtsEmbarrassed
@majenta:-not only presentable di..correction...making it more real!!Clap
@purple:- DI!!! i said that i was transfixed by your writing styleD'oh

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The_Inner_Voice

..Khaleesi.. IF-Sizzlerz
..Khaleesi..
..Khaleesi..

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Posts: 16248

Posted: 24 September 2012 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
chechiHug that was so beautiful!!!Clap
hope to see my fairy tale wish fulfilled soonWink

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The_Inner_Voice

The_Inner_Voice Goldie
The_Inner_Voice
The_Inner_Voice

Joined: 05 July 2012
Posts: 1825

Posted: 24 September 2012 at 12:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sarah_kelly

chechiHug that was so beautiful!!!Clap
hope to see my fairy tale wish fulfilled soonWink


Omane Hug...glad you found beauty in it Big smile

Yup it is in the rough draft... should be up in a few days Wink

You seem to be too busy now a days... no write ups???? Confused...Studies keeping u busy?

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..Khaleesi..

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