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**The RaSiKri Poems Wishing Well** NOTE: on pg 33 (Page 30)

The_Inner_Voice Goldie
The_Inner_Voice
The_Inner_Voice

Joined: 05 July 2012
Posts: 1846

Posted: 22 September 2012 at 8:39am | IP Logged
Originally posted by komal jagdesh

SUPER DUPER AWESOME SNEHAHug

it is beautifully written meri jaan


each and every sentence of ur poem is fab




Thanks Komal...and tthis comes your way... Hug

Glad you found beauty in it Big smile... n for the" meri jaan"...here's another one coming ur way Hug

Nice to know that every word reached out Big smile

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harshadbaaz

harshadbaaz IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 22 September 2012 at 8:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by The_Inner_Voice

Originally posted by komal jagdesh

SUPER DUPER AWESOME SNEHAHug

it is beautifully written meri jaan


each and every sentence of ur poem is fab




Thanks Komal...and tthis comes your way... Hug

Glad you found beauty in it Big smile... n for the" meri jaan"...here's another one coming ur way Hug

Nice to know that every word reached out Big smile

 Hug for uh

ab tm likhti he itna acha ho toh asar toh hoga he na

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The_Inner_Voice

The_Inner_Voice Goldie
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Posts: 1846

Posted: 22 September 2012 at 8:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by khota_sikka_sri

Sneha puri Ramayan hi likh dali RaghaVi ki. LOL It was awesome!!! Sneha is back with a bang!!!! Clap



Sri Hug... Haan yaar that wish was long pending ...and the penny had begun to rust...so socha i'll salvage it n got on... before I loose any sense with CV shoving the crap down our throats.

Glad you found it awesome... and yup i'm back wih a bang... arey itne dinon se head bang kar rahi thi episodes dekh kar... but then kal ka HC ke act ne mujhe inspire kiya... Dekha HC ka asar!!!...wish the CVs knew what is meant by inspiring in true sense of word!!!

The_Inner_Voice Goldie
The_Inner_Voice
The_Inner_Voice

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Posts: 1846

Posted: 22 September 2012 at 8:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by komal jagdesh

Hug for uh

ab tm likhti he itna acha ho toh asar toh hoga he na


Asar indirectly HC ka hai Day Dreaming... varna i was down in dumps after few past episodes... but HC made it bearable... rather his act yesterday made me sit down to write this long pending one LOL
harshadbaaz IF-Dazzler
harshadbaaz
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Posts: 4603

Posted: 22 September 2012 at 8:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by The_Inner_Voice

Originally posted by komal jagdesh

Hug for uh

ab tm likhti he itna acha ho toh asar toh hoga he na


Asar indirectly HC ka hai Day Dreaming... varna i was down in dumps after few past episodes... but HC made it bearable... rather his act yesterday made me sit down to write this long pending one LOL
Exactly yarrr HC is one who make thz show worthwatching warna kon interested haiLOL

per koi nhi yarrr tmei bhi pura credit jata haiii for wriiting dhasu poem Wink

kash yeh poem humarey course mein hotiLOL

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The_Inner_Voice

Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 22 September 2012 at 11:45am | IP Logged
di Hugmy first Fb:-
Wish Penny put in by Betty : Raghavi Hug n Kiss

1]i liked the nice usage of rhyming words here di.Smile.they rhyme here in a different way..in the sense they rhyme not only as words but as two meaningful words...(i hope i made sense here)Embarrassed
need-heed this set of words are perfect rhymes..but also has an inner meaning that raghav was in dire need of sia paying heed to his feelings..but it was pleaseant to see it being used in a reverse situation..Smile
 
close-rose actually dew drops dont stick to its surface right?Confused {infact the saints say that we should be like dew drops in this world and that we should live in this world without any worldly connection} so am not able to connect with the analogy of dew drops and closeness..Embarrassed
but in a sense it has a meaning that i am sure RaghavI want to embrace each other as close as the petals in a bud!!Blushing holding someone as close not only denotes physically doing it..but also that both the hearts never wanna let go of each other!!Day Dreaming
 
love-above this pair of rhymes have a profound menaing that love is above all other feelings and relations...love is a twine which holds worlds togather...that love is pure divine...and hence accords a high status...as it was said in ishq bina song from taal "rab he sona ishq ishq..rab se bhi sona ishq"
and also it can be seen in another way that raghav got green signal from above..that almighty himself gave his ashirwad and chatr chaaya for his love ...LOL
 
more-pour...here it can be seen as the unconditional love which raghav wanted to shower on sia and vice versa..like pyaar nochaavar karna...akin to a downpour of rain..and that sia in return or vice versa is in need of giving and recieving more and more of love to each other.Smile..
 
2]raghavI are soul matesSmile..there bond is pure...and a kiss in a non-lusty way seals the bond between two souls...and this poem speaks of that divine pure love which entwines two soul forever and ever..(hope i made sense as mere mention of raghavI's kiss made it difficult to hold on to clarity of thoughts!]
 
3]i liked the conversational type of proposal and acceptance of love..nothing fantasy ...serene and simple..ClapStar
 
4] as for my reaction?? "the first line of your poem " says it all diHug
thanks betty dearHug and also to you diSmile

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The_Inner_Voice

Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz
Ephemera
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Posted: 22 September 2012 at 12:20pm | IP Logged
di Hugmy next fb

 

Wish Penny put in by

Sun : Raghavi separation scene

1] again i would like to see the poem through the end words ..as all the thoughts and emotions culminates in those wordsEmbarrassed
loud-did
allthough these two words are far from being rhyming if it is seen through the lens of poem it acquires a meaning of its own..sia in the act of pleading to the authorities to let go of raghav actually aired her feelings loudly to raghav..that he is all she has..although she herself dint recognise that fact...and raghav did show to what length he could sacrifice for his lady love by his deedsDay Dreaming
free-me sia as jhanvi was never free..her life her very existence was in shakles...and Raghav was the one who freed her from those shackles..and that and the mere thought of her life now alone again without him was painful which she couldnot understand as first sign of love D'oh
just-soul
these words are not rhymes but have inane meaning ...for raghav all his sufferings are "just" sufferings when it comes to safeguarding his lady love...so was for sia the tears were not important at that time all she wanted  was her to be heard..something she was fighting from the start..Ouch
eyes-cries eyes
are windows to the soul...and through eyes raghav passed on immense strength and hope to sia...here cries doesnt only mean "the act of producing lachrymatory fluid through eye" but also the silent pleadings of sia's heart to allmighty to have mercy upon the person who was sole support for her..and also teh pleading of raghav's heart to be heard by sia...it also indicates that tears of sia is hurting raghav as he himself said onec.."ansun mein namak hoti hey..chubta hey mujhe".  its like not only literally no one was hearing sia's pleadings..but sia herself was being deaf and blind to the love raghav had..Angry
se
paration-back well these two words are antonyms if taken as verb..but life is full of paradox..and these paradox and opposities makes life interesting...here separation not only means literal but also that the mere thought of separation causes acute pain..and that sia is not able to identify it as nascent stage of love...back indicates that raghav is conveying that no matter what he will not leave those hands which he held to keep them safe..and that no matter what he will be back..back to where his soul belongsSmile
daze-gaze
well for raghav sia's gaze were so intoxicating that no strong drugs like ecstasies or lsd's can induce such daze...his mind was freezed by the intensity of her gaze..it also be taken as the tears coming out of sia's eyes and the iminent separation looming large were numbing his brain..but her pleads and protests were the pegs which held down his life to earth!! Smile
leaving-with me
although these two are unlikely pair...and rhyming in the least it has an intrinsic meaning that sia dint want raghav to leave her..not without her..and that she was ready to follow him anywhere...all she could feel that she will be alone now..without the heart which beat for her only!! allthough she wasnt aware of all these feelings being called loveSmile
hope-cope
all raghav hoped was sia to be free independent and strong...all sia as jhanvi did was cope with attrociteis..but raghav pleaded with his eyes and body language to sia not to lose hope and be strong..which is what expected from ideal partner...Smile
 
2]this poem stand for the definition of support ...unconditional love...tenderness of love brought about by imminent separation...and toagatherness in extreme condition..this poem is ambigous in nature..it not only captures sia's horror of losing raghav..it also holds the mirror to what raghav is going through too..each line and word suits both of them..writing like that is A.W.E.S.O.M.EClapClapClapClapClapClapClap
Star
3]i like avi-poem combinationBig smile...it makes the reading enjoyable and as they say a picture can speak thousand wordsSmile(dunno y but its reminding me of movable pics featured in harry potter worldLOL)
 
4]as to my reaction?? "third couplet second line" perfectly describes my state diHug
thanks @ana @sun and you di


Edited by lakshmi_3004 - 22 September 2012 at 12:21pm

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The_Inner_Voice

The_Inner_Voice Goldie
The_Inner_Voice
The_Inner_Voice

Joined: 05 July 2012
Posts: 1846

Posted: 22 September 2012 at 3:00pm | IP Logged

@ Lakshmi: 

This is with regards to your feedback on:

Wish Penny put in by Betty : Raghavi Hug n Kiss

Thanks for the detailed feedback Lakshmi Hug

About the rhyming words... glad that you saw it more than mere rhyming words.Big smile


As for the lines the lines which you were not able to connect with the analogy of dew drops and closeness:

"I just want to hold you close,
Just like a dew on a blossomed rose..."


The views of the saints on the same  throws light on the aspect of detachment.

Whereas I see no scope for detachment here... rather attachment so I perceive it in a different way...as:

A dew on a rose is not a part of the rose, but it gets the chance of being close enough to caress the petals the most... and add to the enticing beauty... it may slip away or wither away as the noon sun increases its pace...but all the while when it is on the rose... It only adds to the divinity of the rose.


And if the mere mention of that Raghavi kiss made it difficult for you to hold on to clarity of thoughts as you put it... Can you imagine my state at writing those lines Day Dreaming... no wonder I could manage only 8 lines LOL

And a warm hug is what you shall get ... Hug for your reaction!!!



Edited by The_Inner_Voice - 22 September 2012 at 3:26pm

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