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Was putting the baby issue on hold a good idea? (Page 2)

Sujatha.rao IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 07 August 2012 at 12:31am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Armu4eva

Yes... if there is an issue.. one should definitely ..make all efforts to address it and try and resolve it as amicably as possible...! 

However.. i still am not convinced about Ashus almost stubborn demand of wanting a baby ... yes i understand his need for a family connect.. [I had raised the orphan angle long back] but .. i dun think its too late in the day for him! Had he told her that.. he wuld support her for her internship and thereafter they can focus on making a family.. i did be en the happiest! 

Regarding yday.. i found it a bit of 'rang mein bhang' sort of thing.. when he brought his 'wish' on the table.. but i agree.. it was gonna b a point of contention for AshNi . .sooner or later..! 

Looking forward to how the matter is resolved..! I have a faint hint. .lets c how it goes! 


Tanu, that was my whole point...be it post internship or post PG or whatever, talk it out and resolve...because this will come back to bite you if you ignore it now..

And, humein bhi toh batao...about this hint of yours...hint ka mazaa akele hi kyun le rahi ho?

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Armu4eva

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Posted: 07 August 2012 at 12:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by kaks0211

This matter needs to be discussed thoroughly by both of them once and for all. Else it will keep propping up again and again and that too like how it did yesterday - when they were having a totally romantic time...Both should frankly speak out their points of view and arrive at a mutual solution. Of course I am speaking of an ideal situation. In real life also we tend to avoid discussions on topics which we are uncomfortable with & this is happening to Ashni also


After two decades of marriage, let me tell you that this putting on hold does not last beyond days...one of us is always waiting for the other to bring the topic up...there is mutual sulking in the meantime,. then some heavy duty arguments before one of us gives in or we manage to arrive at a compromise!

Also it is a matter of personalities...I am the kind of person who has to resolve the issue one way or the other no matter how thorny it is...can't lose sleep over it! If AShutosh is anything like me, then God help Nidhi...at least that is what my husband would say!


Edited by Sujatha.rao - 07 August 2012 at 12:35am

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Libra

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Posted: 07 August 2012 at 1:06am | IP Logged
I think it isnt too late 4 ashu to have a baby. When d woman has clearly stated she isnt ready 4 a baby, n is doin everythin she can, n more to make him happy ,y doesnt ashu just appreciate it. Why cant he b happy wid wat he has.
This reminds me of d sayin aadhe ko chod saari ko dhaave,
aadhi mile na puri paave.
In his quest for a complete family,he is riskin his wife's happiness.
I understand he cant wait for yrs,but least he can do is wait till she completes her internship.
Does he really think nidhi wuld b happy when she's carryin this way? Is that healthy ? 4 d mom to be ,n 4 d baby?

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subashnibusybee..Libraniniborn2ruledebaparna77

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Posted: 07 August 2012 at 1:16am | IP Logged
Originally posted by deepa_jd

I think it isnt too late 4 ashu to have a baby. When d woman has clearly stated she isnt ready 4 a baby, n is doin everythin she can, n more to make him happy ,y doesnt ashu just appreciate it. Why cant he b happy wid wat he has.
This reminds me of d sayin aadhe ko chod saari ko dhaave,
aadhi mile na puri paave.
In his quest for a complete family,he is riskin his wife's happiness.
I understand he cant wait for yrs,but least he can do is wait till she completes her internship.
Does he really think nidhi wuld b happy when she's carryin this way? Is that healthy ? 4 d mom to be ,n 4 d baby?


Deepa, the point of my post was that they should sit and talk it out rationally rather than evading the issue...whatever decision they take, it should be mutual and not one-sided...neither of them should feel cheated out of their happiness...like putting the brakes on Nidhi's career immediately would definitely affect her mental health and that of any prospective child, Ashu yearning in silence for an indefinite period will affect him and their relationship...if the issue continues to fester this way, it will harm them both...that is all!

But I don't think it is that he does not appreciate what he is doing for him...the promise that he asked of Nidhi is indication that he can live without a kid for now but not without her...his love for her far exceeds his desire for a kid! At least that is what I felt!

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fanktlkLibra

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Posted: 07 August 2012 at 1:16am | IP Logged
Originally posted by deepa_jd

I think it isnt too late 4 ashu to have a baby. When d woman has clearly stated she isnt ready 4 a baby, n is doin everythin she can, n more to make him happy ,y doesnt ashu just appreciate it. Why cant he b happy wid wat he has.
This reminds me of d sayin aadhe ko chod saari ko dhaave,
aadhi mile na puri paave.
In his quest for a complete family,he is riskin his wife's happiness.
I understand he cant wait for yrs,but least he can do is wait till she completes her internship.
Does he really think nidhi wuld b happy when she's carryin this way? Is that healthy ? 4 d mom to be ,n 4 d baby?
  
                    I would say Asutosh unfair if he insists for a baby   immediately before she completes her internship. Nidhi unfair if she plans for more than 2 years. Hope both of them meet midway and come to an ideal solution. and this issue gets once for all settled.


Edited by radhika72 - 07 August 2012 at 1:19am

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Sujatha.rao

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Posted: 07 August 2012 at 1:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by radhika72

Originally posted by deepa_jd

I think it isnt too late 4 ashu to have a baby. When d woman has clearly stated she isnt ready 4 a baby, n is doin everythin she can, n more to make him happy ,y doesnt ashu just appreciate it. Why cant he b happy wid wat he has.
This reminds me of d sayin aadhe ko chod saari ko dhaave,
aadhi mile na puri paave.
In his quest for a complete family,he is riskin his wife's happiness.
I understand he cant wait for yrs,but least he can do is wait till she completes her internship.
Does he really think nidhi wuld b happy when she's carryin this way? Is that healthy ? 4 d mom to be ,n 4 d baby?
  
                    I would say Asutosh unfair if he insists for a baby   immediately before she completes her internship. Nidhi unfair if she plans for more than 2 years. Hope both of them meet midway and come to an ideal solution. and this issue is once for all settled.


Radhika, I don't think or at least I hope that Ashutosh expects her to give up her internship and have a kid...I have a feeling it was her comment of wanting to wait for a few years that has probably spooked him...if they could have agreed on a mutually comfortable time frame, keeping in mind Nidhi's internship, the matter would have been resolved...but of course, so would the drama...and hence the prolonging...I don't think a baby is coming so soon...I think there may well be conception related issues..!


Edited by Sujatha.rao - 07 August 2012 at 1:21am

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subashniLibra

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Posted: 07 August 2012 at 1:25am | IP Logged
@ sujatha.i do understand d point of ur post. I can read n comprehend,thank u very much. Lil bit,but yes.
I think ashu is just not tryin 2 understand her pov, give ur marriage sum time,man.
SHIKHA19 Goldie
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Posted: 07 August 2012 at 1:29am | IP Logged
I agree that they both need to sit down n solve the issue for once n all ..rather than keeping in heart n getting disturbed every now n then . 

Now i want ashu to undrstd that nidhi's education is more than his wish right now ..n he should let her do that first ..n ya on the other side he can ask nidhi not to wait for many years ..but an year is enough ..n he will support her completely in baby thing n she doesnt need to quit her career compltly she can take some break for some time n join back hospital again . 


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