Joined: 12 May 2008
Now I'm 21st year old.. Looking back...No,not much behind,just a year ago(Almost)..November 9th 2011,My mum-dad planned for a trip for which I was so not ready..but li'l did I know that time,it'd change my life so much.. So much that my day dreaming would get lost somewhere & I'd like to hold close the reality..
Hi,I'm Panchi..Yes..I know I'm not new to you,Afterall don't know how many time,I have tried to pended down my thoughts,tried to share them with you but I was so much inconsistent..Not that I've become some consistent person now but yes,I'm trying to be..trying to become a better person & sorted out person.
I have always asked for changes whenever I went through something bad..I'm impulsive,I'm inconsistent..but I'm "Me" as well..
I'm not among those people who d have a goal set,infact I hardly know what I'd be doing in the next moment.I know I'm a lil over weight & I love eating & I need to loss some weight,I even try to..err! promising myself that I'll exercise & get up early in the morning each day before going to sleep but then when morning arrives,I just can't.. *sigh*
See I just started with something & blabbering about something else..another trait of mine lol..but what to do when in-spite of having so many friend,esp.My mom with whom I share everything but can't.. about this.
Last year,this time..I was just as carefree as a bird but that day just changed my life.. A girl who used to hang out with friends,helping people out,roaming around without any such work,reading love stories & then let her imagination fly,,,suddenly met the "storm" of her life,Yes..I'd name him "The Storm" coz after every storm there is a silence.. a calmness..That's exactly He did to me..
They say, the world in small..Yes It really is !.My dad was
friends with his dad, my mom even my lil' darling sister knew him.No, he was
not that close to them but yeah he might have some special charm that in that
lil span of time he made such an effect on my mom that she used to talk about
him.. how good he is !..etc & I kept wondering about whom she is talking about !!!
As the day arrived.. We were all set to go on our trip..Due to dad's hectic business schedule, he hardly could give us his time but this time he managed some time & so we were all ready? Not.. not me yaar..I HATED journey..as I go all sick traveling in bus..etc..just end up vomiting *ewww*
But it's family time & I was the loving daughter,couldn't be a spoilsport know.
We went,The journey was not at all smooth until we reach the France border.. Plan was that after crossing the border we'll take some rest in my dad's aunt house who were living near by & then in our car we'll be heading towards the main city.
Yet again,I was in all my bad condition,Reason? Vomiting..*Shakes head*
Yeah we crossed the border..with that I left the present road of my life & step up to a new road which I don't know yet where it'd lead me..
My uncle was waiting for us there in France border..I knew all of them,just not that guy whom I didn't even notice in the 1st place'
We had to wait for our car to arrive so to pass the time we headed towards my granny's house & there after I started feeling a lil bit better & was back to life (Yeah) I saw him..Properly'
He was very handsome..Those type of guys whom you'd see & say "nice" but what was nicer about him was his "nature" I had just met him but it didn't take him much time to make me realize that he was everyone's favorite..I smiled @ his antics..Thought Crazy he was..!
Being the kind of girl I'm..I could never talked to any boy having an eye-contact..So he was no different but I was amused by the fact that every now & then my eyes were searching for him ..damn ! I thought..! I just met him 30mins ago..What is this..?
Anyway after having our lunch I thought to let my friend know that we crossed the border as heard the Sim card wont work after leaving this area.. I was looking for a place where I could talk to her peacefully & that time he spoke the words..Yeah the 1st sentence from him ...For me..
" Go to terrace,You can talk peacefully there"
He was sitting with mom & trust me he has such a soothing voice..I looked at him but yeah not in a proper manner..
He knew me & my mom are sick of traveling..& I found it so sweet of him that he had brought lemon leafs for us so that it's smell keeps us alright ..so that we don't feel like throwing up in every 5 second..
Trust me.. It was the best journey of my life..EVER..
Yes,his trick did work, I didn't throw up through out that 2hour journey..Don't
know if it was for those leafs or I liked his company.Throughout the journey.. He played all favorite tracks of mine.. I found our choice smiler..mean the choice of the songs.. He was sitting behind me but don't know what happened he asked my cousin bro to sit in his place & he sat exactly opposite of my sit..This time we could see each other properly.Though, My mom dad were sitting just next to me.
He was living in France for study..infact,staying in my uncle's house as his father was also friends with him..
We reached our destination..& It was so good I felt but lil did I know every lively person has a sad story as well.
Due to an exhausted journey,we slept early..New place it was bit difficult but the people of my uncle's house were welcoming enough.. The next day too went well but the evening... made it all look sad.
He was staying @ my uncle's place..All loved him.. One of my cousin brother was very good friend of him but something happened which made everything worse..They were not friends anymore..& it turned out to be so ugly that my bhai insulted him so much infront of my dad,uncle when he was studying in his room.
At 1st I didn't get it what was all this for! But
when I understood the whole thing,I don't know about him but I felt like
crying..It was not his fault what I heard regarding the matter but my brother behaved pathetically.
He didn't make it look like he had gone through such thing before
as well..He was charming & he charmed everyone by his presence..Girls loved
him,(got to knew with time) & he was no less in dong harmless flirting
either..but his silence did hurt me..as I already got used to his child-like, fulfilled nature.
I felt bad but I felt awkward for feeling bad as well..It's just 2 days since I knew him..
No,I wouldn't have bothered if it was just for humanity sake but who 'd ask her mom to go to him,say the words " It's okay" that too for a person whom I just met,merely few hours back? I did ! 'That bothered me'
I heard ..he'd be shifting somewhere else or may be in hostel in next 2/3 days..But the fellow had such a chilled out attitude he didn't even let all those stuff stay in others heart or make them feel guilty,He,still behaved in the same manner he probably used to..
He left the place.. & I was cool with it..But don't know how & why & when! Suddenly I started missing him.Something in me,wanted to know more about him.. & my wishes were granted easily as the people of the house kept talking about him & I started get to know him better from their words..
After few days..
I was coming down to stair..Suddenly I learned,I could just bump into someone but I didn't let that happen.. & When I looked up to see who it was ..I saw him.. he just laughed like a child.. & that made me feel a bit awkward.. a bit good, a bit nervous..a bit shy.. made me blush a lil,looking down searching for nothing with a lil smile forming in to the corner of my lips.
It was weird but it felt good when I saw from corner of my eyes ,when we moved to the opposite direction,he just looked back.. & this time with a smile.
He used to come to meet my uncle everyday or in every 2 days as he was still not settled down properly..We kept meeting..No, not that proper meting,just those hit & miss ones but something did let me know that he liked me..Like the day when I saw from the terrace that he looked back to find me if I was there.. & looking at him..I was not sure what I felt but whatever it was..it felt good..as I used to wait for him..when he came I felt good when he didn't.. the day felt incomplete..
It was among those last days of our in France..Dad kept a dinner party..all his friends were present.. My parents liked him so he had to be there but I got to know about this the very last moment..
I was sitting with my aunts..laughing & talking about something..& from now where he peeps in & I just looked up & saw him..That was the 1st time when our eyes met..
He entered the room & one of my aunt just asked him a
question for fun..There was a cut on his wrist..which looked like.. umm the ones
after someone try to cut off his/her wrist vain..SUICIDE! OMG!
My aunt just asked "What is this dude! The proof that you
tried to commit suicide for a girl ? She joked!..but he felt embarrassed..may be
coz I was there..yeah it was as I saw him looking at me just after the
question been asked..I laughed in my mind coz of his ans, he just got tensed n
said " NO ! Just got hurt n all " on that I couldn't stop but laughed loud
& went out side,didn't really wanted to make him feel more embarrassed..
After Dinner party got over he came to say bye..just then it got decided that we'd be leaving a day after tomorrow..I was standing by blocking the door..& he came & stand behind me.. Can't tell you what I felt but all I knew that time I couldn't stand there for a minute more,that small thing made my heart beat go faster'
He knew we'd be leaving but he asked my mom to stay a few more days as there 'd be a new year function in his college & he'd love to take us there but mom gave him the reason why we can't stay for more days..He simply took blessing from my mom & Left..
That was the last time He came to the house till we were there..
Although we stayed there for few more days that too till the new year but he didn't come to the house in those days.Every day I thought he'd come but he didn't I felt bad..I felt sad..
We left for our country,my home.. in the morning of 1st January..Goodbyes are always so emotional & I was meeting those relatives for the 1st time,getting so much affection from them was amazing so it was extra emotional to leave them but what gave me more pain was not meeting him before leaving'
Yeah I missed him.. I wish he could just show up.. I wish to see him for ones,as he was studying there don't know when he'll again come home or if I 'd be ever able to see him or not.. I wanted to meet him even if it was for the last time.. So what if we never talked..not even a single word to each other but I still wanted to meet him...I wanted to meet '. " Ranveer .."
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