Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon


Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Serious question

madmaxine IF-Rockerz

Joined: 03 November 2010
Posts: 6222

Posted: 06 August 2012 at 10:36am | IP Logged
I rarely ask them, but I have one for yougaiz today. 

What's wrong with being domestic help man? I have often wished I had their skills. My food would taste better, my clothes would be less creased and my home would be cleaner. Much cleaner. 

FYI, this is not about Dadi. ASR has said/done far worse to her than what Dadi said/did today. This is about the general outrage...she compared Khushi to a servant type reaction. 

Any thoughts? 

Edited: This is NOT about IPK and what they showed today. This is about the reaction to what they showed. I'd ideally like the response to be f**k this nonsense...we don't need this crap. Not, I hate Dadi...she called Khushi a servant. Which brings me to the question. What's wrong with being domestic help? To my mind...absolutely NOTHING. No house in India would function without them. I am aware that I'm getting a little bit on my soapbox here. I'll lay off the high moral grounding for the near future and leave that to KKGSR...she does it so well. Smile

Edited by madmaxine - 06 August 2012 at 11:11am

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..sur.. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 24 March 2008
Posts: 4959

Posted: 06 August 2012 at 10:38am | IP Logged
its just an age-old menace spread in the indian society that servants and other lower strata people are untouchables. its a tragic and bitter truth 

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bhangan IF-Rockerz

Joined: 19 February 2012
Posts: 5319

Posted: 06 August 2012 at 10:39am | IP Logged
The sad truth is that the caste system still exists in some parts of the country

It's sad that some of the older generations follow it and that is what they depicted on TV today

What they really should have shown is the growth in some of the newer generation which does not believe in castes. 

I don't know what Nayi Soch they talk about when they show this stuff but oh well 

Main point is that any form of social inequality is NOT right in any way

At the end of the day we are all humans and we should be treating each other like one too

It is said that time changes things but what people really have to change is themselves first

Edited by bhangan - 06 August 2012 at 11:04am

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appy_12 Goldie

Joined: 15 May 2011
Posts: 2101

Posted: 06 August 2012 at 10:40am | IP Logged

P.S: I'm alive, maxine! :)

Hey Maxine! Great topic! You know me well, and you're quite smart (:P), so you must know that all my serious posts are backed by a story. MY story. So, today is no different! 

I belong to a typical Indian family.. With a few twists! :P My mum is a working woman, a supermom! She says she worked till three days before I was born, and then started working again before I turned one. this is when she hired an ayah, a nanny for me. I was only 3 months old then. Her name was Shanthamma. I don't know we all called her that. Her real name is Anasuya. But till today, she is Shanthamma for me. 

She was a widow. Always donned in plain white sarees which were often stained blue due to the Ujala she used. Amma started going to office, and Shanthamma and I became very close. She used to sing a really weird lullaby to me, not one that you would hear normally. Years passed, I grew up, but shanthamma stayed. She, who actually came as an ayah to our house, soon became an all rounder. She knew how to operate the twin tub semi automatic washing machine, the wet grinder for idli-dosa, she kept the house clean, and waited till my mum came home everyday, and then left. She walked 7 kilometers to and fro everyday for us. 

As I went to school, a few more responsibilities came onto her. She pressed my navy blue tunic and white shirt, washed my blue house flaps, polished my shoes, made me wear them (!), oiled and braided my hair, reheated the food by the time I went for lunch everyday.. She loves me. She's a great grandmother now, and still, Apeksha (Me!) is the apple of her eye! :) 

Still, I used to fight with her.. A lot! 'SHANTHAMMAA!' and everyone used to know, 'Oh, they're fighting again.. Guess Shanthamma forgot to add three spoons of sugar in Bournvita again!' Everyone of my relatives.. Right to the most distant cousins know Shanthamma, and she remembers their names too.. Although her pronunciation is different! She calls my brother Suraj ,Suresh! Nobody actually noticed, but as I grew up, she grew old.. And she took Voluntary Retirement, with benefits, two years back. Yes, she practically raised me till I became a teenager, till I was 15. She still visits, hugs me tight, saying I'm the most beautiful girl she's ever seen, and always gives me a 5 star.

Right now, she's at home. Because my parents are out of town. Shanthamma is a part of our family. She was since she stepped into that small quarters we used to stay in, in the 90s. I can never imagine life without Shanthamma, and I know she will go some day. I dunno how I will react. But it won't be good. I know that! 

Also, she skypes with my relatives whenever she comes home! :P I remember, me and my sis tried to teach her English once. She learnt the alphabet, but we couldn't continue. We just decided that she was too smart and would leave behind all the engineers, the maaliks she worked for! :D 

So Vidhya, I don't think there is anything bad or low about being a domestic help. They're great people. They make life all the more beautiful! :) They become so attached to you, they're family! I don't know, and so can't speak about others.. But as far as I have experienced,  domestic help aren't any lower than all of us. We all work, we're all slaves. So why the difference? 

Whoa! That was long! :P

Edited by appy_12 - 06 August 2012 at 11:21am

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joenet1234 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 19 February 2012
Posts: 3279

Posted: 06 August 2012 at 10:41am | IP Logged
First of all the question is NOT about IPK or Dadi or ASR or KKGSR! Please go back and re-read the question. Reading is fundamental, although seldom practiced but should be given its fair shot.

Now on to answering THE question. The idea which was instilled ages ago is unfortunately still prevalent, that somehow humans need to differentiate amongst ourselves. If physical attributes of differentiation are not enough, resort to other measures is attempted as long as the end result is achieved. In my house, the term servant didn't exist. We had domestic help which was only in the dire times. We were required to address our helpers us Uncle, Aunty. Amma or Baba. No other names or titles were allowed. Also, it was engrained in our brains they are part of our family and should be treated as such. They are here to HELP US, we should be grateful and boy we were!
As much as it irks me to see this sub-par treatment towards another human being, I am much saddened to say these stereotypes exist and are promoted by our society. If someone one is helping me get through my day, there is something seriously wrong with ME and not them that I can't even pull my own weight around.

Edited by joenet1234 - 06 August 2012 at 12:11pm

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boyznaka IF-Rockerz

Joined: 02 July 2008
Posts: 6272

Posted: 06 August 2012 at 10:42am | IP Logged
I don't really have to add anything here since everyone has said what was supposed to be said, except that it's a very digressive mentality and frankly the idea of someone being deemed untouchable because of their social status is absolutely disgusting. And yet it is so prevalent in our country it's a matter of shame. Trying to change it on an individual level is a good start, but how far can we go when life is not a tv commercial? It's with such mediums that people understand and now when they show such things it's nothing but a disgrace to the idea of creative freedom.

Edited by boyznaka - 06 August 2012 at 12:23pm

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nonasi IF-Dazzler

Joined: 30 January 2012
Posts: 2577

Posted: 06 August 2012 at 10:42am | IP Logged
It's all about power and feeling superior.

I hate this status BS.

No wonder some naukars take revenge and steal form their "maliks"...

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meera30 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 06 January 2010
Posts: 5068

Posted: 06 August 2012 at 10:44am | IP Logged

Dignity of labor is a concept alien to many in South Asian nations.

And it stems from the fact that all human life is not considered equally sacred. 

Its a shame. Blame the caste system, blame the rich-poor divide, blame the apathy. Blame us all

For somewhere we still feed off of it. 

The inability for that servant to stand up and demand her/his right in a dignified manner due to lack of means and education or just due to social prejudice, adds to the problem.

Its a shame

And I am guilty of doing nothing about it.

Thanks, Vidhya. It's a question meant for people to think. And if one of us does better ourselves or by inspiring someone else, it will be a question worth its weight in gold!

Edited by meera30 - 06 August 2012 at 10:47am

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