Chapter 1 ' Expectation
Aashima stood on the balcony of her new apartment. Her arms were stretched out in the air, as she let the rain drops fall on her skin. On other usual circumstances she wouldn't have done so; she was oddly rain-o-phobic! The perpetual worry of catching a cold or flu in the rain had made it impossible for her to enjoy what romantic people could apparently enjoy with ease. But the recent turn of events could not have been less usual for Aashima. And it was perhaps owing to the fact that she was in a state of thorough confusion that she sought refuge where she had never sought it before.
But for all the peace of the moment, the delicious smell of the wet Earth, Aashima was not consoled. And try though she might, she could not help but let her mind drift back unpleasantly to the conversation she had had with her sister-in-law a few minutes ago.
"How come you didn't go to the party yesterday?" Raima asked.
"Party? What party?" she asked, surprised.
The voice on the other end was incredulous. "My dear, what do you mean by "what party?"? You know I am talking about Tuli's birthday party last night. What happened? Why did you not go?"
"No, no, Didi. Why yes, it was Tuli's birthday yesterday. But I cannot remember her inviting me to any party."
"Well, I don't know. But I did meet Tuli only a few hours ago. And she told me that you were the only one in the entire group who did not attend her birthday celebration."
Aashima felt thoroughly nonplussed. What was going on?
"Do you know what else she said?" Raima continued. "That Shubham was low the entire time he was there. And when everybody asked him about you, he just refused to talk about you. What is wrong between the two of you?"
Aashima felt something had got stuck in her throat, rendering her momentarily speechless. He knew everything? She thought with a sense of incredible disbelief. He knew everything. And he went. And he didn't tell me. Why didn't he tell me?
"Aashima?"
She couldn't tell Raima the truth even if she hadn't felt that her voice had left her for ever. After all, what could she tell her sister-in-law? That her husband never mentioned anything to her and had decided to go off without her?
She tried to gulp down the heaviness in her throat. "Oh, that!" she said, trying to sound as nonchalant about it as possible. "Oh, Didi, I remember it now. He did mention it to me. But last night I wasn't feeling well at all. These migraine attacks, you know; makes a mess of a fine, healthy woman. I fell asleep. He probably didn't want to disturb me and he left without me."
Raima paused on the other end for a while. It was with a heavy voice that she resumed again.
"But why did Shubham not explain everything to Tuli? Look, Aashima, you and Shubham have only just been married. People are going to expect you to attend parties and functions together. And if you don't, they are going to ask questions. I heard you skipped the Holi party too. My dear, this is the time when you mix with people, make friends and get involved."
It was vaguely that Aashima realized that it had stopped raining. And it was in a preoccupied manner that she entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Instantly, her eyes fell on the photograph on the table stand beside her bed. It was the picture of her husband, Shubham, and her on their wedding day. He had his arms around her shoulder. Both of them were grinning in an embarrassed sort of way. She thought they had both looked quite good back then.
It had only been a month ago. She had barely started to understand her husband and already she felt he was out of her reach. Aashima felt that the gravity of the revelation was pulling her into the depth of something she couldn't quite comprehend. She felt betrayed and at the same time she was consumed by an inexplicable sense of pride. She wanted to talk to Shubham openly about what had happened. And yet, something in her heart seemed to firmly decide against it.
Some part of her hoped, in spite of herself, that she did not know the complete truth. And it was this part that desperately tried to make a case for him.
He must have mentioned it. Yes, I cannot be wrong. He must certainly have mentioned it. I just did not take him too seriously. He got annoyed and just left without me last night.
Yet, she couldn't brush off the fact that her husband had refused to stay at home for dinner last night. When she had enquired as to where he was going, he had replied with a curt "I have some work." And inconsequential though it had seemed at that time, he had also slammed the door on her face as he had walked out.
Subconsciously, Aashima reached for her cheek and brushed off the single tear that had rolled down. Though she could not remember when.
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