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Swaron FF: Living the dream; Thread Two (Page 13)

thegameison IF-Sizzlerz
thegameison
thegameison

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Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 22646

Posted: 29 July 2012 at 12:29pm | IP Logged
Dude, that hit me hard. Do believe me when I say, even I could not have been that patronizing at ten. That's hard to believe but true. Rey and Kankshita come as delightful add-ons to this chapter, by the way. Swayum and Sharon alone make timeless chapters but we miss the other wondrously etched characters you have here. You may not have noticed, but you have plenty. Embarrassed

I really like the much-happier Sharon. The bifurcation of her conscience is beautifully and realistically written. It happens to as all, doesn't it? We smile like we don't care about our teeth that could fall off, that happiness is buried inside and we need other people to trigger it out. It's um, natural and so very miraculously penned. 

Swayum's dilemma makes yet more sense. I really liked reading the small Swayum bit here but most of all I liked the Rey-Sharon conversation and the entry of Kankshita. I was smiling like what-has-she-done here when you get Rey and Kankshita to converse here? LOL And do you need any telling? You might be a strong competition to my literary sarcasm in future. Way to go! 

Sorry, this is a lame comment. I knows. I promise to be better next time. 

PS. This did not have the cruel ending I was expecting by the quote but it sure is quite open-ended.

Love,
Kanks



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Sawyer_Tom

Madhura.. IF-Sizzlerz
Madhura..
Madhura..

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Posted: 29 July 2012 at 2:08pm | IP Logged

So finally, am here.

Chap 27: Loved the way u wrote frm Kankshita's pov, all was apt. Kankshita seems too smart. Like her bond with Swayam too, the way they both talk freely. Also the way she is connected to Sharon, anger and stuff.

Chap 28:

Firstly, amazing description on winter and way its related. Sharon's life, beautifully described and her falling in love and Swayam ka role. Both feel they r not right for each other, wow.

Sharon was in more pain as she had no1 to support.

Swayam had equal pain, and abt his family thing and status crap, deeply explained. But he had Kriya to share.Detective thing was nice fun added to balance.

The suspense, of Sharon apt. The way she is just in so much pain and she is lost, in cold, great.

I loved this chapter it was filled with suspense, love, pain,family, friendship!

Chap 29:

This was a bit filmy, a tinge, Swayam coming at the same place, giving his hoodie.

But very well written, the way he tells her its unsafe, and she longs him to protect her and their emotions, sarcasm, apt!Sharon fighting back was also lovely.

Again, you write beautifully and amazingly Nidhi. Gramatically well and its as if u r watching the thing on.

A word abt the banner, Ofc its just superb banner, Kankshita makes amazing stuff, and yes it is apt for the ff.

Chap 30:

Did I mention to you, I love the quotes u chose b4 beginning the chapter.

Beautifully narrated, it was good to see finally Sharon, taking control and both enjoying each other's company, and sharing and talking out things. Good to see both happy now, but when will they accept love?

Chap 31:

I loved the 1st para so much!

I dunno, I cant describe how much I loved this chapter, let me try.

Firstly, the way when both wake up, and are happy, bust still say best friends.

Then the way u compared Sharon with earlier, superb! The new and happy Sharon, its perfect.

Abt Sharon's fear and Swayam still thinking on what Sharon said.

Abt Rey, I always love ShaRey bond, it was fresh and good, the way Rey guessed abt her and way they shared stuff, apt. Like the way he orders her to be Sharon.

Then Kankshita's entry and as usual smartness, cool. She prefers Swayam over him, what more can one expect? It was a treat to watch, and last line what she said, Rey and her convo cracked me up.

Good job, as promised I did my comments, just got a bit late.

Thank you for the pms.

Madhura.

 

 



Edited by Madhura.. - 29 July 2012 at 2:08pm

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Sawyer_Tom

pratik54000 IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 5594

Posted: 29 July 2012 at 11:04pm | IP Logged
awsome update...enjoyed reading it...

thanx for pm...do update soon...

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Sawyer_Tom

tashu20 Senior Member
tashu20
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Posts: 730

Posted: 29 July 2012 at 11:07pm | IP Logged
awesome update...
loved it...Smile
thanx for the pm

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Sawyer_Tom

MirageSwaron IF-Dazzler
MirageSwaron
MirageSwaron

Joined: 08 December 2011
Posts: 3503

Posted: 29 July 2012 at 11:54pm | IP Logged
Nidhi...I wish I didnt know that u r winding this up...I really luvd this one - right from the time the sunlight graced the room till Rey reassured Sharon that Kankshita & he are gonna manage fine...there is nothing out of place or less interesting for me in the entire narration, b it Sharon's finality abt her emotions for Swayam or her innermost fears, Swayam's hesitation and belief that this is too good to b true & last but not teh least Rey's awsum cameo...well thatz what friends r for...u realize their value when they r away and then cum bac to you bcoz a true friend is the mirror that reflects u...           

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Sawyer_Tom

neetha IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 30 July 2012 at 1:47am | IP Logged
this was beautiful..read both the chaps nw..the chap in page 4 was hot..freakin hot..Embarrassedbut the next part of it was beautiful..a smooth n understandin loveHeart..the chap in page 9 was also too gud..the confusion in swayams brains n the sharey frendship..and yes i misd kanks a lot in the previous chap..Wink

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Sawyer_Tom

surbhi_d3 IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 11 March 2012
Posts: 4108

Posted: 30 July 2012 at 3:21am | IP Logged
Nidhi, I loved chapter 30. It was much awaited for we finally get to see things being sorted out between SwaRon. I really liked the way you so effortlessly described the tension which had been building up between them for they lost contact. It feels good that now finally Sharon has decided to take things in her hand and not wait for Fate to play its role. She has finally accepted that she needs him, she carves for him. 
I loved this bit. 
Swayam was so caring and he did understand her really well and even talked about his parents which had been bothering him from a long time.

Good going!
I'll read the next chapter soon..!

thanks for the pm
update asap

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Sawyer_Tom

-Snehaa- Goldie
-Snehaa-
-Snehaa-

Joined: 17 September 2011
Posts: 1496

Posted: 30 July 2012 at 10:37am | IP Logged
I finished reading Thread 1 and 2 finally :)
And i want to keep on reading it..like over and over again...:)

i really dont know how to describe this FF. One of the most beautiful FF's i've ever read. 

This is always gonna be my fav FF. I love how you put everything in this..friendship, love, hatred, family, intensity, fights, emotions...and hw can i forget? Dance! :)

I wish you'd never end this FF. Atleast not right now. Please continue. It's just a request. 
And waiting eagerly for the next chapter. Sharon gonna confess. 


-Sneha. Smile


Edited by damonelena - 30 July 2012 at 10:38am

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Sawyer_Tom

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