Originally posted by Dalmuthuya
My story starts since I was born.. My family was poor. And I was terribly having asma. My dad... he was violent. Once I turned 4 every day I got abused along with my mom. Along the line a man I didn't know molested me. I am not sure whether he went far because I can't remember all that well. 10 years we suffered like that. I was just like Arnav. I put an angry front. I pushed away everyone and I wanted commit suicide. But thank god my heavenly father stopped me that day. Anyways, I kept praying, and fighting. Eventually we got to come to Canada. Dad was more mellow and we had peace, but the scars were still deeply infested in to my body. I was afraid to open up to anyone. Every day I saw nightmares. But someone entered to my life and changed it all. My first boy friend. He was the perfect guy. Loving, understanding, caring. I could literally speak to him about anything. We had something for 10 months. Something so deep and special. I thought everything was amazing and finally gained my trust in men, but it was all an illusion. He was not what I thought he was. 3 days before I told him my dark secret about the molestation. And I thanked him for loving me and respecting me, but 3 days later he cheated on me. That's when everything I believed in shattered. So now I cannot trust anybody, especially men. Every time I think there is a good guy I think it's an illusion. Too much pain. So this is why I prefer being single, but it sucks, because I have always wanted to be mother. So that I can give all the love I couldn't get as a child.
Oh wow. I just told my life story...
First of all, I'm sending virtual big hugs to you. And I pray that you have a happy future ahead and can move on from this.
One thing I would say to you is that you were too young that time. And even probably the guy. So at that age, guys are never serious. They only want casual stuff. Actually you are too young even right now. Maybe once you cross 20 and have a degree and a job, I'm sure you will meet many more good guys who will be serious for a relationship. And if you still don't find anyone, I'll send some hot lankan guys to your place ;)
About the mother thingy, even I've always wanted to be one. But as I said, I'm gonna end up a 50 yr old virgin. But like Barney, I won't be sad, I'll be awesome instead. So I've made back up plans to adopt orphan kids. That way they will be happy too and me too. 😃
