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Adi Sir BDay STORY CONTEST -- **RESULTS on pg 16** (Page 8)

gadhadada IF-Addictz
gadhadada
gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 74874

Posted: 25 July 2012 at 1:13am | IP Logged
could we post Reviews abt Stories in This Thread??????Confused

astonish IF-Sizzlerz
astonish
astonish

Joined: 24 January 2010
Posts: 12932

Posted: 25 July 2012 at 1:19am | IP Logged
Originally posted by gadhadada

could we post Reviews abt Stories in This Thread??????Confused
 
Yes ofcourse Smile
gadhadada IF-Addictz
gadhadada
gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 74874

Posted: 25 July 2012 at 1:24am | IP Logged
Originally posted by astonish

Originally posted by gadhadada

could we post Reviews abt Stories in This Thread??????Confused
 
Yes ofcourse Smile

Pakka, ye na ho baad mein Meri Pitai ho jayey...  LOLLOL
astonish IF-Sizzlerz
astonish
astonish

Joined: 24 January 2010
Posts: 12932

Posted: 25 July 2012 at 1:30am | IP Logged
Originally posted by gadhadada

Originally posted by astonish

Originally posted by gadhadada

could we post Reviews abt Stories in This Thread??????Confused
 
Yes ofcourse Smile

Pakka, ye na ho baad mein Meri Pitai ho jayey...  LOLLOL
 
Kis ki himmat hai yahaan.. jo aapki pitai kar de TongueLOL
 
Arey baba..this thread is to share views.. comments and discuss the stories... SO go ahead and post the reviews .. and kick off some conversation Smile
gadhadada IF-Addictz
gadhadada
gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 74874

Posted: 25 July 2012 at 2:47am | IP Logged

my Reviews (so sorry if any Writer HurtsSmile)

Story# 1: Good Attempt, the Beegining was Good but later Writer loose the grip and totally
deviated from the Story, but then again remember and got the Knot, the Story Buildup was Good, the Story was little Lengthy, but Okish, I like the way Abhijeet Sir used His Brain, a bit 
Abhijeet Centric Story, keep it up.!Thumbs Up

Story # 2: I liked the Story coz it Short and SimpleLOL, the way of D EAGLE Idea was
good and also found in another StoryWink, matlab is Gun ka Use Common hayEvil Smile, the Story
was Not much Dragged as well, some Loose Points according to Me is the way
Abhijeet Sir entered and then fecilitates by the Group of Culprit was a bit ODD,
itni jaldi koi bhi kisi ko apnay Plan mein Enter Nhai karta, if the Writer showed
a time span either a week or 15 days and with some regards they found Him Special
so included Him in their PlanSmile, the AZIZ Khan nabbed so easily which is also FW style,LOL
the Refletion of Daya Sir in that passageway water was really CoolCool, the whole Story is a TEAM Centric not Abhijeet Centric Story, but a Nice Attempt.!Clap

Story# 3: I think I have No such Person to say any thing about the Story, the Writer
we all know just give another Masterpiece infront of UsStar, the people like Me really Learn
alot from it, its an Honor for MeEmbarrassed to have a Chance to read This Writer Story wo bhi Free meinWink...the Only point of mine, that in UAV section isn't that any Terror Group enter?? i  think they had so many Securities but the over all Execution was FabulousClap, its called a Abhijeet Centric story.Clap
this writer story is always a Joyeous Treat for Reading, Feeling, Learning, Encouragint, Soothing, Imagining, watching, everything comes in a Package... Thank You..!!!ClapStarClap


Story# 4: I think the Story was Missing somethingConfused, the Characters of Ajay and Ranjan was
Not Define early, achanak hee aa gayey, the Death Lilly idea was SuperbThumbs Up but Not gripped
it well, the Picture and Information was really good for ReadersThumbs Up, the Story lost the Plot, jub Eagle ka Point aaya tou wo buht Rushy hay, samjha nahi
aayaOuch, Motive was Ok, the Story again is Team centric not Abhijeet Centric., Good Attempt.!Clap


Story# 5: so Long, Nice to get some NFS Idea, 404 errorThumbs Up, I really praise the Contract Killer Business and  thinking on that TrackWink, I enjoyed alot, the Story was bit Repeatative at Initial Points and then again Team Centric Story, the Writer Mixed Both Plots, First Half was of 2Nd Plot and 2Nd half was of 1st Plot, the Picture was Nice especially the Home Page of that SiteClap, the EAGLE was not coming in sense of Bird here so a New thing is thatThumbs Up, the Story was Lengthy so little bit dragged at middle, but obviously an Excillent tryClap, if I excluded Mixing of both Plots (which is against the rule of contest) Lenght and the 5 Names.!Clap

Story #6:Good Attempt, not a Abhijeet centric Story, its also Team centric story, the Idea of Abhijeet was the Core was Good, read as Once.!Clap

Story# 7: the typical FW style TitleLOL, i liked the Facebook IdeaThumbs Up, but I think kabhi DUO ko Social sites ka Prayog kartay huay dikhaya nahi gaya, yes Vivek did it quite some time, so its good to see that angleClap, the Hacking Idea was Good, the FOB, Sketches were ExcillentStar, Abhijeet Sir was Injured so again a Team Centric Story, but like to Read it.!Clap


I really Appreciate Every ParticipentsClap, cz I think its almost Mushkil for Us to Separate DUO thatswhy mostly DUO were together and every story turned to be Team Centric StorySmile,
 if anyone feel Sad/Bad/Hurt from my any Word, I say Extremelly Sorry.!Embarrassed
here i must Appreciate VIS DII as she is the Only Person I found most time to give Feedbacks, ReviewsClapClap, mostly Writer/creative ppl missed it which really Hurt.!Ouch


Edited by gadhadada - 26 July 2012 at 1:11pm

The following 6 member(s) liked the above post:

fairy1Shagnikadebasree04DemonStarastonishvisrom

visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31236

Posted: 25 July 2012 at 3:42am | IP Logged
My reviews: Will add as and when I read them
 
No 6: The theme is to have serial killing + target Abhijeet, so there's nothing the writer can do about it. It's difficult to think of something other than the usual badla or psycho killer. This one was a psycho killer... I wish the writer had tried something else.
 
Some part was a bit unclear...like Abhijeet was tied down and used his tongue Confused and all of a sudden CID team was there...it was a bit vague.
 
Otherwise the story stuck to the plot. Nice attempt. Clap
 
(One one place the writer has written Abhijeet 'roaring'...I was trying to imagine him 'roaring' ROFL)
 
 
 
No 5; This one has clubbed both plots...
 
Never mind...not cutting marks for this. The idea behind the killing, the unique gun...the 'murder' website...it was all very well done.Clap Only thing is...just 50000 for a murder? Confused Jaan ki keemat itni kam? or did they have to make multiple donations of 50K each?
 
I loved this story...very clear, except that MS word had caused some typos like introducing some unwanted characters in some places. Maybe you should save in doc format and not docx.
 
The plot was very clear in the writer's mind. The illustrations were very good...nice insvetigation, nice explanation of 'EAGLE'. Nice twists added like Abhijeet's senior being killed and telling Abhijeet about the EAGLE.
 
The ending was good too...turned into plot 2. Nice innovative way of murdering using a mobile phone...wonder what will happen if you turn into a criminal. Evil Smile
 
 
 
No 7: Very similar to plot 5...the drawings...the internet based crime, even the name - Manoj is common in 5 and 7..LOL
 
Tried something other than badla or psycho...decent attempt.Thumbs Up
 
 
No 2: Very nice story...one thing about this writer is that it's very very clear...requires less effort from our side to understand...and this is a very useful skill you have...I am sure your exam sheets will also present very less confusion to the evaluator.  Wink
 
 
Abhijeet in jail in disguise...it reminded me a bit of Demonstar's previous contest story. Tongue  Nice tapori dialogues in the jail...LOL  Just one thing...how did Jitu trust Abhijeet - who was a total stranger to him..so easily and tell him about his escape plans??Ermm There should have been some strong reasons to trust Abhijeet.
 
Then the ending happened too fast. LOL...there should have been more twists and turns and confusions.. LOL Maybe I was having Demonstar's previous story in mind therefore was expecting a lot to happen after Abhijeet escaped from the jail. Wink
 
Overall nice interesting story...reading a story from this writer after a long time. Wink
 
 
Will read the others and comment soon.


Edited by visrom - 28 July 2012 at 5:31am

The following 6 member(s) liked the above post:

fairy1Shagnikadebasree04DemonStarastonishgadhadada

astonish IF-Sizzlerz
astonish
astonish

Joined: 24 January 2010
Posts: 12932

Posted: 25 July 2012 at 3:48am | IP Logged
Ouch
visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31236

Posted: 25 July 2012 at 3:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by astonish

Ouch
Confused excuse me...have I read your story yet?

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