Adi Sir BDay STORY CONTEST -- **RESULTS on pg 16** (Page 18)

Shagnika IF-Rockerz

Joined: 02 February 2010
Posts: 7856

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 9:48am | IP Logged
That will be cool Big smile

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debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19986

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 9:54am | IP Logged
I will do after posting VMs results & reviews...

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astonish IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 24 January 2010
Posts: 12932

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 10:05am | IP Logged
Story 6 

A well paced pyscho serial killer story Clap From some of the dialogs and scenes.. I can identify the writer..But keeping aside those scenes and dialogs.. I would say... It was a very nice serial killing plot.. The investigation was kept simple.. but the motive of the serial killer was nice Smile

If you don;t include those peculiar statements like "letter likha tha .. nahi..SMS kiya tha" and stuff.. I would say... your content and presentation of the story has changed a lot.. and ofcourse in a positive way..
In your case.. again i am not sure if its because of time constraints... you don;t seem to have re-read your story,.. or got time to review it...Many a places i the sentences you thought of writing it one way and ended up writing something else.. LOLwhich made the sentences weird LOL

Good going... and as a suggestion...  don;t think of becoming a writer like SS sir.. think of being Nk or NC LOL Less OTT dialogs and more khooni stuff Smile Good Job Clap

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Bhavanab IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 31 March 2009
Posts: 24043

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 10:23am | IP Logged
Asto and Vis !! Congrats Big smile .. don't you both get tired of winning story contests ?? Tongue .. hehehe kidding .. I'm sure you're stories must've been really good !! Congrats Big smile ...

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debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19986

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 10:50am | IP Logged
Participants demand for Second runner-up here it is...please all the second runner-up use it ...

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gadhadada IF-Addictz

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 74936

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 11:25am | IP Logged

Congrtas to Astonish and Vis DII...  

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gadhadada IF-Addictz

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 74936

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 12:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by astonish

I have already read 3 stories the day they were posted...will soon write the reviews for them...
Just now read story  1 - So here is the review for the same... 

Story  1 : A nice interesting case... I like the way you brought back the characters of CID + Adaalat...Clap.  I was actually wondering how would you connect the TV's eagle encounter with the Eagle... did Nik turn back with the the TV programme schedule ..??Ermm I think i missed that part... but then you brought in a real eagle... The story was well paced... no where I felt it was being dragged.. and you managed to put in enough duo scene though initially you said that Daya sir was on some other mission LOL 

 There were two things which were a little tough to digest.. . 1. keeping eagles as pet in india is illegal.. well. this is something which can be ignored.. doesn;t strike much when you enjoy the caseLOL  but the second one is that... Abhi sir remembers his police Academy training... Now this is something which keeps striking your mind whenever in the story Abhijeet remembers his past.. We all know he doesn;t remember anything since the accident took place and that accident took place after he joined police. 

There were also two things which were very  nice to read ..  you didnt hurt any of the CID team members .. didn't divert from the track and kept the story crisp...interesting... well paced... maintained the suspense... concept was less complicated..  and bureau less crowded LOLClap

Originally posted by visrom

Finished reading story no 1.

I had some difficulty in understanding it because of the grammar. Request the writer to give some attention to this aspect.

However the story was very good. Smile it was nice idea to take up the Zoravar track... Clap 

Abhijeet remembering his past is tough to digest but we can assume that all his old friends have kept in touch with him and tried to tell him stuff about his past. 

Then the thing about Daya's secret mission...was it linked to finding Zoravar's whereabouts? The reason why he was away was not clear. Maybe you could have connected it more clearly. 

Overall I liked the story. Very nice attempt. You have some good ideas, so please try writing more stories.

Now I reveal the Suspence, STORY number 1 was also MINE including Story Number 6, 
I m Sorry Astonish as I dunt know that keeping Eagle as a Pet is Illegal in India, as I dunt know abt that.!
the Second point which U and VIS DII both raise that Digest Abhi Sir remember His past, i just take it from Abhijeet kay ateet ka raaz where ABHI Sir only remember the Portion of His Past.!
khair I'll definately Care abt it in Future... wesay I m Happy that atleast I hide My Style to sum extent...LOL     

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cargopants Senior Member

Joined: 13 January 2012
Posts: 389

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 8:18pm | IP Logged


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