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Adi Sir BDay STORY CONTEST -- **RESULTS on pg 16** (Page 12)

debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz
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debasree04

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19986

Posted: 27 July 2012 at 11:41am | IP Logged
Entry 7 -
Finally completed one story !!!
I really like the way u used the plot of Serial Killings and last target Abhijeet sir Clap...thodasa hatdke !!! Clap
I said already really appreciating how u used Facebook...Clap
I also like the details u used for appointment letter...Clap
But duo aur facebook LOL nice thought Wink
Story plot is very simple but still i enjoyed it...Clap

"Abhijeet: Lagta hai maarne wala nahin chahta tha ki koi ise pehchaan sake. Salunkhe hi kuch bata sakte hain iske baare mein."

I think its due to small typing mistake...Abhijeet sir do not call Salunkhe sir by his name...


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ShagnikaDemonStarastonishgadhadada

astonish IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 27 July 2012 at 1:54pm | IP Logged
Story 3
Okie.. let me be frank... This is the 3rd time I am deleting the whole review and writing it again..

Everytime .. my remark was different... first it was..."good going".. the second time i wrote "Confusing story".. and this is the third time I am again writing the review.. and I would say...
"More than in written form.. I would love to see this story on screen" Smile

Actually your story also paces in the same way., Initially its good going.. then it gets a little confusing from Chapter 6... Now here I did a mistake.. I didn;t want to move forward without understanding what was happening. So i literally read Chpater 6.. three time.. and then..with a "confusing story" review comment.. i moved to chapter 7... There I felt there was some similarity between 6 and 7 which i still didn't understand.. or you can call me a dumb head that I couldnt understand what was happening...

Anyways.. you see at the end of the story.. there is some kind of nice feeling about how the story was actually structured.. its a nice feeling to see that so many threads going here and there were finally getting connected one by one at the end..Smile

Your english actually made me feel that CID was investigating for NYPD LOL even the names of the characters... LOL although even that part you explained at the end Smile

Lots of research has been put in and it clearly shows... Clap Great Job...

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DemonStardebasree04gadhadada

astonish IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 24 January 2010
Posts: 12932

Posted: 27 July 2012 at 3:27pm | IP Logged
Story 4 

I would say.. Its  a nice simple Khooni story.. Totally the one which is perfect to be aired as a part of the show. Smile You brought in the concept of death lilly... Clap and nice to see someone research for the story in this domain rather than the technology side Evil Smile   and also made Tji make a mistake LOL Bechaari..

I think you are a new writer.. and if you are .. then I would say. ... keep going with your stories... and please don;t let your research for story get distracted or diverted by people hereEvil Smile (including meTongue) keep your story research on areas like herb..trees .. animals.. and something from the nature... because at the end of the day this is what is shown in real CID.. all the hi-fi techie stuff we write here is for our fun.. which will never make it to the real CID caseSmile

There are no loopholes in your story as such... Smileits only that you made it a little quick... those boy friends and Rivals' where Sachin and others were interrogating,.. try to add twists there .. You clearly pictured that CID suspected 5-6 people.. Smilebut if you add twists to those characters you yourselves will see your story growing and getting intriguing...Every character in the story should have a motive to commit the crime  Tongue thats my funda Wink

Anyways.. Lots of gyan.. LOL So...all in all .. Great job.. and let me tell you its really nice to read a story which doesn't require me to remember all those complicated techie stuff LOL gives a CID script reading feeling Smile

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DemonStardebasree04gadhadada

visrom IF-Stunnerz
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Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31236

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 12:40am | IP Logged
It's sad to see so few members reading the stories. Once the results are announced, the others will never bother or care to read. Why waste time writing stories when hardly 3 or 4 people are reading...Unhappy

Edited by visrom - 28 July 2012 at 12:39am

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Shagnikadebasree04astonishgadhadada

gadhadada IF-Addictz
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Posted: 28 July 2012 at 12:44am | IP Logged

same Pinch VIS DII, even I feel that sometimes Writer also did not bother to Read other Writer Stories and give their Reviews...Ouch
fairy1 Goldie
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Posted: 28 July 2012 at 1:22am | IP Logged
What's the deadline??
visrom IF-Stunnerz
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Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31236

Posted: 28 July 2012 at 1:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by gadhadada


same Pinch VIS DII, even I feel that sometimes Writer also did not bother to Read other Writer Stories and give their Reviews...Ouch
 
Now GD, I know that when you write a story, there are many who read and comment and appreciate them. None of them have commented on this thread. I am not aware if they have commented on your chat thread elsewhere...maybe they want to read only your stories...fine...not blaming them.
 
 
The last 2 times I wrote, I had to beg and plead with some people to read and comment...I don't want to name anyone. Gone are the times when a story used to be posted here and within 2 hours there used to be 20 comments on the thread...now no one is interested... I am getting fed up...I don't want to write any more. Ouch


Edited by visrom - 28 July 2012 at 1:30am

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gadhadada

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Posted: 28 July 2012 at 1:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by visrom

Originally posted by gadhadada


same Pinch VIS DII, even I feel that sometimes Writer also did not bother to Read other Writer Stories and give their Reviews...Ouch
 
Now GD, I know that when you write a story, there are many who read and comment and appreciate them. None of them have commented on this thread. I am not aware if they have commented on your chat thread elsewhere...maybe they want to read only your stories...fine...not blaming them.
 
 
The last 2 times I wrote, I had to beg and plead with some people to read and comment...I don't want to name anyone. Gone are the times when a story used to be posted here and within 2 hours there used to be 20 comments on the thread...no no one is interested... I am getting fed up...I don't want to write any more. Ouch

arry I m Not Talking abt My Thread, wahan bhi main yehi bolta hun, even Mian apny Readers ko aur Dusray Writers ki Stories ki bhi Link deta hun, per parhtay hee nahi wo, itna Gussa ata hay aur ye Story Contest mein tou koi parhta hee nahi, samjh nahi aata hay kyun...!!!
DII, main sub ko kehta rehta hun, abhi bhi sub ko kaha kay yaar parho, sub nay itni mehnut say likha hay etc, per na koi parhny ko tayyar hota hay aur na Rating ko...  Ouch


Edited by gadhadada - 29 July 2012 at 12:55pm

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