1- What are two things people never eat before breakfast? Lunch or Dinner
2- Why did the man throw a bucket of water out the window? He wanted to see a waterfall
3- Why did the man throw the butter out the window? He wanted to see a butterfly
4- Why did the man put the clock in the safe? To save time
5- What has two hands and a face, but no arms and legs? A clock
6- What has a neck, but no head? A shirt
7- Where is the ocean the deepest? At the bottom
8- "What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order?" The Q
9- Why did the man throw his watch out of the window? He wanted to see time fly
10- What State in the United States is High in the middle and round at the ends? Ohio
11- How do you spell mousetrap? CAT
12- How many legs does an ant have? The same as an uncle
13- How many people are buried in that cemetery? all of them
14- What can't be used until it's broken? an egg
15- What do tigers have that no other animals have? baby tigers
16- What is Black and white and read (red) all over? A newspaper
17- Why is number six afraid ? seven ate nine (7 8 9)
18- What did number 1 say to 7? Nice hair
19- Which is the most self-centered letter of the alphabet? I
20- Which letter is always trying to find reasons? Y
21- Which letter is not me? U
22- What letter can do the work in one day that you can do in two days? W
23- Why is the A like a flower? because B is after it
24- Why is the letter "A" like noon? it's in the middle of the day
25- "What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?" the C
26- What has two heads, four eyes, six legs and a tail? a horse and its rider
27- What is as big as a horse but doesn't weigh anything? a horse's shadow
28- What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it? teapot
29- What did zero say to eight? nice belt
30- Do you know why birds fly to south in the winter? because its too far to walk there
31- Which letters do Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday have in common? DAY
32- Which room has no doors, no windows. a mushroom
33- What gets wetter as it dries? a towel
34- A man rode into town on Tuesday. Two days later he rode home on Tuesday. How is this possible? his horse's name was Tuesday
35- Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? he didn't have anyBODY to take
36- A father and his son were in a car accident. The father died. The son was taken to the hospital. The doctor came in and said: I can't do surgery on him, because he's my son. Who was the doctor? his mother
37- Why did the student take a ladder to school? it was a high school
38- What are the two strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, all other days are "weak"days
39- What do you call a bear without an "ear"? A bee
40- Which is faster, heat or cold? heat, because you can catch a cold
41- How many apples can you eat if your stomach is empty? B: 4 or 5 After taking only one bite, your stomach is no longer empty, so you can't eat the rest on an EMPTY stomach
42- Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space? to find Pluto
43- What do you call a Spaniard who can't find his car? Carlos
44- What's the difference between electricity and lightening? you don't have to pay for lightening
45- What part of your body disappears when you stand up? your lap
46- What do you call a witch at the beach? a sandwich
47- What's the difference between a lion with toothache and a wet day? one's roaring with pain and the other's pouring with rain
48- Why are baseball stadiums so cool? there is a fan in every seat
49- What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh
50- What has thirteen hearts but no body and no soul? a deck of cards
51- What do you call a fish that only cares about himself? a shellfish
52- Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? because his teacher was Hayden
53- What's a minimum? a very small mother
54- Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? because it's two-tired
55- What's got a head and a tail, but no body? a coin
56- What's got a wave but no sea? my hair
57- Where does a boxer who weighs 135 kilograms sit on a bus? wherever he wants to
58- What makes "oom" and gives milk? a cow walking backwards
59- Where does Dracula stay when he goes to New York City? the Vampire State Building
60- What do cows like to read? the moospaper
61- What is the longest word?
62- What is the word that everybody always says wrong?
63- What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
64- What's the longest word in the dictionary?
65- How many seconds are there in one year?
66- What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?
67- Why did the pony have a sore throat?
68- What did the undertaker die of?
69- Why can't a nose be twelve inches?
70- How do porcupines kiss each other?
71- What has four wheels and flies?
72- What has teeth but can't bite?
73- Why did the chicken cross the road?
74- Why do people call their own language their mother tongue?
75- Why is it impossible to starve in the desert?
76- Do you know where people send a horse when it is sick?
77- What did the doctor say when the invisible man called to make an appointment?
78- Which 'BUS' could cross the ocean?
79- What a bee says when it gets in the hive?
80- How do you catch a squirrel?
81- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
82- Where do cows go for entertainment?
83- What animal is it that has four legs a tail and flies?
84- What do you call 'a fly' without wings?
85- What goes "ZUB, ZUB"?
86- What did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
87- What flowers have two lips?
88- They travel all over the world but end up in the corner, what are they?
89- Why didn't the farmer cry when his dairy cow fell off the cliff?
90- What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailor?
91- Why do cows have bells?
92- Why were the little drops of ink crying?
93- How many sheep does it take to make one wool sweater?
94- What's a teacher's favorite nation?
95- What's the most colorful state of U.S.A.?
96- In what state does it cost the most to live in?
97- What did the cannibal who was late for dinner get?
98- What do you call a dog with no legs?
99- How do you top a car?
100- Is there a word in the English language that uses all the vowels including "y" ?
101- Why do birds fly south for the winter?
102- What is the tallest building in our town?
103- What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
104- The teacher speaking to a student said, "Saud, name two pronouns."
105- Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
106- What is orange and sounds like parrot?
107- Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
108- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
109- ESL teacher: You must never begin a sentence "I is ...".
110- How should you dress on a cold day?
111- Why do witches fly about on broomsticks?
112- Who tells chicken jokes?
113- What's white when it's dirty, and black when it's clean?
114- What's the capital of "England"?
115- What do we tell the donkey worn its pajamas (pyjamas-Brt)?
116- What's "bacteria"?
117- What's the biggest part in a car?
118- What day do fish hate?
119- Why are roosters the neatest birds?
120- Which three letters of the alphabet do all the work?
121- What illness do you get in China?
122- What do you get if you cross a baby with a U.F.O.?
123- When is it bad luck to have a black cat following you?
124- Why did the egg go into the jungle ?
125- Teacher -First came the Ice Age, then - the Stone Age. What came next?
126- What's the easiest way to double your money?
127- Which driver never commits a traffic offence?
128- When does it rain money?
129- What gets dirty by washing?
130- What would be worse than finding a maggot in an apple you 're eating ?
131- What is the best day for cooking bacon and eggs?
132- What do Martians eat for breakfast? Unidentified frying objects!
133- What is round and red and goes up and down?
134- What is a sick crocodile called?
135- What can make a cow fly?
136- 'Did you hear about the man who invented a device for looking through walls?' 'No, what does he call it?'
137- What was awarded to the inventor of door knockers?
138- Teacher -How many seconds in a year?!
139- What kind of running means walking?
140- What nail should you never hit with a, hammer?
141- Who wrote Great Eggspectations?
142- What is it that occurs once in a second, once in a month, once in a century, yet not at all in an hour, or a eek or a year?
143- Five automobiles were lined up bumper to bumper. How many bumpers were actually touching each other?
144- How many parts of the human body can you name that have only three letters?
145- How far do you have to count before using the letter A in spelling a number?
146- Name as many articles as you can think of that start with the letter S that are worn on the feet.
147- What continent do you see when you look in the mirror in the morning?
148- What is found in the very center of both America and Australia?
149- What relatives are dependent on you?
150- Why is the letter T like an island?
151- What part of London is in France?
152- Nine crows sat on a limb of a tree. Farmer Jones shot three of them. How many crows remained?
153- Which is the loudest vowel?
154- What is it that no man ever yet did see, which never was, but always will be?
155- How many birthdays does the average person have?
156- What is a beautiful cat?
157- What is an unusual seat?
158- What is a comical rabbit?
159- What is an angry boy?
160- What is an irritated employer?
161- What is a bashful insect?
162- What is a large hog?
163- What is an uncontrollable boy or girl?
164- What is a joyful father?
165- What is a noisy group of people?
166- The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
167- What can you cut with a knife and never see a mark?
168- What asks no questions but receives a lot of answers
169- What grows bigger the more you take from it?
170- I saw a nutcracker up in a tree. What was it?
171- What goes up but never comes down?
172- If you feed it, it will live. If you give it water, it will die. What is it?
173- What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
174- Something that shines in the sky at night changes to rodents that gnaw and bite.
175- A fruit that's green and often sour ecomes a distance you walk in an hour.
176- Something that frogs do very well an be the sound of a ringing bell.
177- An animal that eats a paper or can ecomes the cloak of a Roman man.
178- What helps you keep your teeth together?
179- How do you make a lemon drop?
180- What is all over the house?
181- What is a UFB?
182- Why did the teenager put his clock in the oven?
183- When can a man be six feet tall and be short at the same time?
184- What happens to a refrigerator when you pull its plug?
185- Why did the teenager put sugar under her pillow?
186- What is the first thing that a gardener puts in the garden?
187- What is the perfect cure for dandruff?
188- What do you call a person who doesn't have all his fingers on one hand?
189- What's the best thing to take when you're run over by a car?
190- How many months have twenty-eight days?
191- Name five things that contain milk.
192- By inserting the same letter 16 times in appropriate places, this jumble of letters will be transformed into a sentence of some sense: VRY VNING RNST ARND IGHTN CNTS XCDINGLY ASILY.
193- A man was locked in a room with only a bed, a calendar, and a piano. How did he drink, how did he eat, and how did he get out? Another man was locked in a room with only a mirror and a table. How did he get out? A third man was locked in an empty room. How did he escape?
194- A man goes into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun, and points it at the customer. "Thank you" replies the customer and walks out. What happened?
195- How can you throw a tennis ball with all your strength and, without it hitting a wall or other obstruction, have it stop and come right back to you?
196- How close a relative would the sister-in-law of your father's only brother be?
197- It takes 4 1/2 hours for a jet plane to fly between the east and west coasts of the United States. One plane leaves Los Angeles for New York at 4:40 o'clock, while another plane leaves New York for Los Angeles at 6 o'clock. Which plane will be closer to New York when they pass each other?
198- A rope ladder is hanging over the side of a ship. The ladder is twelve feet long, and the rungs on the ladder are one foot apart. The lowest rung is resting on the top of the ocean. The tide rises four inches an hour. How long would it take before the first four rungs of the ladder are under water?
199- There are ten black stockings and ten white stockings in a drawer. If you reach into the drawer in the dark, what is the least number of stockings you must take out before you are sure you have a pair that matches?
200- How many bricks does it take to finish a house?
201- What has a fork and mouth, but cannot eat?
202- What can be measured, but has no length, width, or thickness?
203- What comes down, but never goes up?
204- What goes up and down but doesn't move?
205- Why did the boy put his radio in the refrigerator?
206- What has four wheels and flies?
207- How many feet are there in a yard?
208- What can you serve, but never eat?
209- If six children and two dogs were under just one umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
209- It wasn't raining. What's the best way to win a race?
210- What has no beginning and no end?
211- Why do lions eat raw meat?
212- Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
213- Why does a firefighter wear red suspenders?
214- Why do we dress baby boys in blue and baby girls in pink?
215- What kind of bushes do rabbits in California sit under when it rains?
216- If a rooster laid an egg on top of a pointed-roof henhouse, which side would the egg roll off?
217- There was a big alligator walking down the street with a little alligator. The little alligator was the big alligator's son, but the big alligator wasn't the little alligator's father. Who was the big alligator?
218- If an electric train travels ninety miles an hour in a westerly direction, and the wind is blowing from the north, in which direction will the smoke blow?
219- Two fathers and two sons went fishing. Each fisherman caught a fish, yet only three fish were caught. How is this possible?
220- At this moment, everyone in the world is doing the same thing. What is it?
221- If you dropped a tomato on your toe, would it hurt much?
222- How much dirt is there in a hole exactly one foot deep and one foot wide?
223- Two teachers teach at the same school. One is the father of the other's son. What relation are they to each other?
225- What can you hold in your left hand, but not in your right hand?
226- Can a man living in New York be buried in California?
227- A cowboy had twelve cows. All but nine died. How many cows did he have left?
228- Two men were playing checkers. They played five games. Each man won the same number of games. How is this possible?
229- How many books can you put into an empty school bag?
230- A donkey was tied to a rope six feet long. A bale of hay was eighteen feet away, and the donkey wanted to eat the hay. How could he do it?
231- If there were six crows sitting on a bench and a hunter shot one of them, how many would be left?
232- If you count twenty horses on your right going into town, and twenty horses on your left coming home, how many horses have you counted in all?
233- If it takes three minutes to boil an egg, how long will it take to boil three eggs?
234- Seven is an odd number. How do you make seven even?
235- A man who worked in a butcher shop was six feet tall and wore size eleven shoes. What did he weigh?
236- What is the best exercise for losing weight?
237- What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, and not once in a hundred years?
237- The letter in.
238- Which is better: "The house burned down" or "The house burned up"?
239- What can be right, but never wrong?
240- What is it that a man can use for shaving, polishing his shoes, and sleeping in?
241- In the middle of the night, while Mr. Jones was asleep in his hotel room, the telephone beside his bed rang. Mr. Jones woke up, picked up the phone, and said "Hello." Then he put the phone down and went back to sleep. Can you guess who had telephoned him?
242- A man ran down the street, walked into a bar, and asked for a glass of water. The bartender gave him the water and pointed a gun at him. The man said "Thank you" and walked out of the bar. Why did he do that?
243- A man phoned his daughter to ask her to buy a few things he needed for a trip. He told her she would find enough dollar bills for the purchases in an envelope on his desk. She found the envelope with "98" written on it. In a shop she bought $90 worth of things, but when it was time to pay, she ' didn't have $8 left over, as she thought she would. In fact, she didn't have enough money to pay for all the purchases. By how much was she short, and why?
244- A farmer must transport his dog, a duck, and a bag of corn across a river. The boat he has to use is very small'so small that he can take only one of the three in the boat with him at a time. If he leaves the dog alone with the duck, the dog will kill and eat the duck. If he leaves the duck alone with the corn, the duck will eat up the corn.
What is the least number of trips the farmer must make to transport all three across the river safely?
245- One day a cat fell down a well. The well was eighteen feet deep. When the cat tried to climb out, it found that the sides of the well were very damp and slippery. However, with patient determination it finally managed to climb out.
It took the cat one minute of climbing to gain three feet. However, after climbing for a minute, the cat had to rest for a minute before it could go on. During each minute of rest, the cat slid back two feet.
How long did it take for the cat to get out of the well?
246- A traveler had the misfortune of being caught by an enemy tribe and condemned to death. The only question that remained was how he was to be done away with.
According to tribal custom, the chief of the tribe was to make this decision on the following basis: The victim was told to make an affirmative statement. If the chief considered the statement true, the victim would be shot with a poisoned arrow. If the statement was judged to be false, the victim would be tied to a stake and die by fire. In any case, his death was apparently inescapable'or so it seemed to everyone except the traveler.
He made a short statement which so perplexed the chief that it was found impossible to carry out the execution.
What were the words that the clever traveler must have uttered?
247- Tom came to a bridge marked "Total weight 100 kilos." Now, Tom weighed 95 kilos, but he had three pineapples, each weighing 2 kilos. He couldn't throw them across the river, because the pineapples would be smashed to pieces. How did Tom cross the bridge?
248- Two girls appeared at the registrar's office of a college. The receptionist handed each of them a questionnaire to fill out. Each girl wrote the following facts on the questionnaire.
Each had the last name Smith. Each was born on February 29, 1960. Each was born at 376 East 53rd Street, New York City. Each had a father named John Smith and a mother named Gertrude Smith.
When the girls had completed the questionnaires they handed them to the registrar. The registrar read them and asked, "Are you two girls' sisters?"
They replied, "Yes, we are." Looking up from his papers, the registrar saw the two girls and noticed that they looked exactly alike. He said, "You're twins, aren't you?"
They both promptly answered, "No."
Assuming that all the answers they gave were true, and that they had the same mother and father, how do you account for the fact that they were not twins?
249- Albert Amblefoot walked outside in a heavy rainstorm for half an hour without getting a single hair of his head wet. He didn't wear a hat, carry an umbrella, or hold anything over his head. His clothes got soaking wet. How could this happen?
250- As you are traveling in the kingdom of Jerafa, you come upon a boy and a girl who are dressed exactly alike.
"I'm a boy," says the one with red hair.
"I'm a girl," says the one with black hair.
If at least one of them is not telling the truth, which is which?
251- A man lived at the southern tip of a small forest which was exactly circular in shape. His house was at the very edge of the forest. One fine day in the spring he decided to take a walk around the forest. He set out from his house, heading in a westerly direction, that is going in a clockwise direction, all around the forest and returning to his house, He found that it took him eighty minutes to do this, walking at a steady rate and making no stops along the way.
Another day a few months later, he again took a walk around the forest, but this time he went in a counterclockwise direction. Walking at the same rate as before and making no stops, he found that the trip took him one hour and twenty minutes. Can you explain why?
252- Ruling over the kingdom of Komosay was a very powerful king who had a beautiful daughter named Yamah. When Yamah fell in love with a poor peasant boy, the king was shocked and distressed. To show how fair he was, however, he promised to give the boy a 50-50 chance to marry his daughter by letting him choose one of two slips of paper. On one piece of paper would be written the word MARRIAGE; on the other, the word DEATH.
Because of his great love for Yamah, the boy agreed to take this risk.
As he came near to the castle on the fateful day, he happened to overhear a conversation between the king and one of his attendants:
"Your Majesty," said the attendant, "how can you do this thing, and let that unworthy boy have a chance of marrying your daughter?"
The deceitful king laughed and said, "The way I will do it, he will have no chance. I will write the word DEATH on both pieces of paper. But of course, he will not know that; he will think he has chosen the wrong piece of paper."
When the boy heard that he was stunned and didn't know what to do. But then he thought of a clever solution to the problem. When the time came to choose, he put his plan into action. The next day he and the princess were married.
What was his solution?.