Posted: 20 July 2012 at 3:04pm | IP Logged
"Denial or Control?
'Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for a mother to believe her partner(read as boyfriend) over her daughter when there are accusations if sexual abuse. DENIAL plays a HUGE part in this, as do feelings of guilt. Through denial, the mother is protected from feelings of guilt that come from not noticing or preventing abuse.' (Does this ring a bell?)
'In this particular case, however, it appears that the manipulative and often charismatic personality of the abuser has been used to control the mother. It can be much easier for a MOTHER to believe her DAUGHTER is LYING than to believe the horrific nature of child sexual abuse at the hands of someone they thought they knew.'"
The above was said by psychologist Dr. Nicola Davies on a very real issue published in a magazine called 'Pick me Up' (people in UK will know about this mag. issue 29, 19th July -FYI).
Whoever is reading this post would have understood the parallel with IPK. Yes to be more specific, I am talking about ANJALI. I am not trying to justify her actions, OH NO, far from that. I am trying to get a better insight into that character. From the above quote one can also see how Anjali & Shyam's equation fit.
So tell me in real life, when a mother who can distrust her own daughter, her own flesh and blood, than her partner/BF, then, when compared to that what is Khushi/Anjali equation in reel life? So how far off the mark is Anjali from the above issue? Is she also not a victim of Shyam's machination? Is she sooo off the mark, that she believes her husband rather than Khushi in comparison with the above REAL LIFE scenario?
Fortunately many of us in this forum have not been subjected to the uglier side of life, but that does not mean it doenae exist. WE, who accuse Anjali of seeing life through a rose tinted glasses, aren't most here on IF doing the same? Most people who are outside India, more exposed to the so called 'Enlightened' society, aren't the ones accusing Anjali's character and describing their own perception as incestuous?
But guess what? Most TRP audience(in India) can relate to Anjali's behavior. Not because they have incestuous inclination, OH NO, they wouldn't even know the word or its meaning, but because they can EMPATHIZE!. Why do yous think in India(most anywhere I guess), mothers become MIL's? Cos they feel threatened that their son will move away from them or in some cases slip from their control. Does that mean incest?
I am sure most women in this forum knows how MIL's treat their DIL's. Even those who r not married will surely know how their mothers' treat their 'bhabi's' in comparison to themselves. No matter how we jazz it up, to a mother DIL will be a DIL and her daughter will be her daughter. No comparison or competion there. No siree!
So just because a mother craves her son's attention more post his marriage mean she is being incestuous?
aise soch ne se bhi ghinn aathi hai na? Then why do some people in this forum accuse Anjali's behavior as such? If yous can think that then y not the other?
PS: With regards to the above quote pertaining to the real incident, the victim was around 12 yrs old when the abuse started. She finally built up the courage at around 30 to tell her mother. Guess what since then she lost her mother. literally and figuratively. And now the victim is 41yrs old and doesnae even know if her mom is dead or alive. ...THATS LIFE dear folks!
PPS: CV's are not showing or portraying a character just outta their imagination. They are just giving characters a realistic sheen. So please STOP calling Anjali's behavior as incestuous!
Edited by ipkknd37 - 20 July 2012 at 3:04pm