funny shayri & jokes - Page 12

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Posted: 11 years ago
That awkward moment when you go for a handshake and they go for a hug..



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Posted: 11 years ago
Wife to husband:
You don't LOVE me at all…
Husband points towards their 5 children n says -
Do you think I downloaded these from Google???

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Posted: 11 years ago
Some LAZY RULES v have adapted in our lives

Lazy Rule #88: The farther away the remote is, the more you like what's already on TV...
Lazy Rule #24: If you spill water, it will eventually dry...
Lazy rule #91: don't charge your phone till it says 5% remaining...
Lazy Rule #111: Screw the "T&C's. Just hit Accept.
Lazy Rule 42: if its not on the 1st search page on Google, it doesn't exist...
Lazy Rule #25: Why make your bed when you're just gonna get back in it again...
Lazy Rule #64: If an object is more than five feet away, it becomes unecessary...
Lazy Rule #15: If you are late, dont go...
lazy rule # 19: if you drop the ice cube, just kick it under the fridge...


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Posted: 11 years ago
A suicide bomber went into a pet shop and yelled "EVERYONE HAS 1 MIN TO GET OUT" a turtle in the back yelled "you bas***d".

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Posted: 11 years ago
So if you drink every day you are an alcoholic?? Thank god I only drink every night..

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Posted: 11 years ago
3 am phone call:
"Were you asleep?"
"No, I was skydiving"


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Posted: 11 years ago
If you don't know the answers in an exam, just put lines like this "||||||||||" and write below "Scratch Here For Answer" ;)

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Posted: 11 years ago
ANSWERING MACHINE QUOTE:

***Hello?...Hello???,,,Nahh I'm not here I was just joking with ya. leave a message after the BEEP!


***Hey I'm not here right now...but my phone is! talk to it after the loud BEEP!


***This is not Jim's answering machine, its is refrigerator. If you talk REAL slow I'll write it on a post it note and stick it to me.

***Uhhh How do you work this thing? I don't understand the instructions. Hello?

hahaa 🤣🤣🤣
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Posted: 11 years ago
Be Optimist. 
All people you hate eventually die.

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Posted: 11 years ago
This isn't flying - this is falling with style

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