What The Contract Negotiations - Fun Post

Hi All,

I have nothing better to do.  And this is something I had to do, to get my brain to Lala land as IPKKND is making it go to Didi, Bhayya Aur Woh !!! Land.

 

Hotty :  Arnav;  Crappy : ASR;  Happy : Kushi;  Weepy : AnJHALi;  Creepy :  Shyaam ji-JHA-ji; Meeky :  Paayal; Lamey: Akash; Leaky : Payaash; Trashy : Mami;

 

Negotiations are happening between each character and the panel.

Twatty : Lead Writer who is suffering from Brainopause as even menopause doesn't want to touch him.

CVs  : You know who they are.  https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2890577 (Simply, Trippy, Juvy, Lifty, Galthy, Filly, Amnesy, Vultury, Steppy, Reality, Clichy)

Dumby : CEO of Rishtha Weirdsy Soch Regressivy 

 

Hotty Walks backwards into the room.

Gilty : What an Ass.

Reality : Yes.  What an arrogant jerk he is, to be walking into negotiations like that.

Twatty : Shut Up Reality.  You can bounce quarters off that ass. 

Reality Ponders : Oh, where I see an Ass, they see a Ass.

Hotty : I want some time off and...

Gilty : Freeze.  Takes mental pictures, mental videos, camera pictures, camera video and then says, your contract is extended.  You can work 11 or 28 or 40 days in a year.  You will be paid the same amount as you were paid last year.  Only promise you have to make is to come into my dreams every minute I am awake and every second I am asleep. 

Hotty : I don't do promises.  I don't do dreams. 

Reality Ponders: You don't do Happy.  You don't do your self .  What a waste of a specimen.

Clichy : Gilty, Ask Not What Hotty Can Do For you, Ask When You Can Do Hotty. I mean Ask What You Can Do For Hotty.

Hotty :  I don't get done.  Ever

All CVs except Reality Faint.

Gilty : Orgasms mentally and becomes unconscious

Twatty :  Follows suit and faints while being unconscious.

Hotty Pouts and asks Reality : Kya Hua.  Tum Teek Ho

Reality :  When you said, you don't get done, they thought you said you take a long time to finish

Hotty : Finish What

Reality : Exactly.  What do they know.  Virginity feels sl**ty when it sees you.  Blood doesn't flow below your neck you no sex no passion world peace loving Swami.

Hotty Ponders: Poor Reality Na Fiction Ka Na Real World Ka.  Oh.  In accented English.  Ok.  Reality - who has no place in fiction or in real world.  I pity her.

 

Gilty : Please place your hand on OMASR and swear to the following

Gilty : I swear I will never pull Hotty's hair

Happy : I swear I will never pull Hotty's hair and murmurs to herself, I will pull Crappy's hair, you stupid goof.

Gilty : I swear I will not find 101 ways to torture Hotty.

Happy : I swear I will not find 101 ways to torture Hotty and mutters to herself, I will find 116 ways to torture Hotty, you Idiot.

Gilty : I swear I will never woo men.

Happy : I swear I will never women and thinks, but I will seduce men, you bloody fool.

Dumby : I swear I will never grow a brain.

Happy : I swear I will never grow a brain, and mutters, because I already have one, you twat

Dumby : I swear I will never seek eye for an eye and pound of flesh for a pound of flesh

Happy :  I swear I will never seek eye for an eye and POF for POF and ponders, but I will seek two eyes for one eye and GOB for POF (gallon of blood)

Gilty : Your contract is extended.  Please kiss Hotty while thinking about me.

Happy Ponders :  And Hotty will say, Chod Dijiye Cheeks Ko.  All 4 of them.

 

Weepy Negotiations

Weepy :  Sobbity Sob - I will resign.

Twatty : Oh no.  You can't.  I will make you the parallel lead

Weepy : Sobti Sob Sob Sob - I will resign

Twatty : Oh no.  You can't.  I like designing sarees for you.  I will call you the main lead.

Weepy : It is ok.  I will resign.

Twatty : Oh no.  You can't.  I like your flat screen tummy.  We will call it.  Weepy Ka Daily.

Weepy : Hey Unhey Bhagwanji. Sobbing Sobbity Sob Sobs.

Gilty : Please sign here.

Weepy.  That is what I have been saying.  I want to re-sign.  But you are all so generous to me.

Trippy : Gilty and Twatty are sure our answer to Priceline.com.  "The Negotiators".  Thaliyah

Weepy : Thali.  Om Jai Jagdish Hare, Swami Jai Jagdish Hare

Reality Ponders : If God exists, why would he endure this torture from her.

 

Lamey :  There are two sides to a coin, three sides to a triangle, four sides to a square and one side to a dimension.

Reality : Oh.  I will call you dimension.

Lamey : Thank You

Reality : That was an insult you oaf.  Since you said, there is one side to a dimension and I called you dimension which means you have one side which makes you one dimensional.

Lamey : Cup is always full.  My acting is always dull.  At nights in my bedroom there is such a lull.  Us sides have the TRP Pull.

Reality : Your crap is full of bull.

Gilty and Twatty come back from BR break. 

Loopy : What BR stands for you can imagine.

Twatty : Why are you here.

Lamey : For contract negotiations.

Gilty : Hotty asked you to sign this.

Lamey :  Oh vow.  Ok.  Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Oh Vow.  Ok. Ok.

Twatty :  I am such a clever character painter.  I told you, he will sign anything Hotty asks him to sign.  His contract now gives him less work and he will never touch Meeky again. 

Dumby :  That is our tradition.  We cannot have married people touching each other.  Good job.

 

Meeky :  Can I talk.

Amnesy : No. 

Filly :  We will extend your contract, if you promise to take care of Happy's Didi Ki Saut - Bubbly

Meeky Shakes her head violently.

Lifty : You have to promise to uphold our SP Bahu flag by taking care of Trashy.

Meeky Shakes Violently

Twatty :  Good.  Now go do my laundry.

Meeky Leaves thinking : But I don't know how to dry lawn.  I will ask Bloody (Buaji).

 

Creepy :  How you doin Gilty

Gilty : Stop It.  I might get pregnant.

Creepy : How you doing Twatty

Twatty : Stop it.  I might get hormonal.

Creepy :  I will only come back if Laxmy and The Tree By the pool contracts are also extended.

Twatty :  Tree By The Pool?

Creepy :  Please read https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2890577

Gilty : Anything for you Aman.

Creepy : Don't you ever call me that.  Zabardast Twist is for much later.  Until then.

__________________________________________________

 

After negotiations, twitter world was facebooking with the following buzz.

 

Twatty :  Even if I want to, I cannot stay away from you.  Why?

Audience :  Because maybe our thappad is calling you.

Twatty : I see so much hatred in you (for me and Weepy)

Audience :  That is because, "Rishtha Incesty Soch Nahi" is a sin in these real hearts

Twatty : I wish I could love you.

Audience :  We wish we could love but we hate you.

Twatty :  TRPs Didi Ko Paas Aaney Na De

Audience : Twatty ArHi Ko Door Mat Jaaney Na De.

 

Edited by stafhtad - 11 years ago

baam!!!  🤣 bravo Loopy bravo!!! I lau you!! All these negotiations were driving me insane so Im glad you pulled a negotiation-Loopy to make my negotiation-whirling mind at ease😉 Edited by CDlove - 11 years ago

My two cents worth in IPK contract negotiation - which goes a long way because I'm cheap...Edited by tia.o - 11 years ago

🤣 

🤣 Loopy is back with a bang!
I think Creepy is such a stud. What happened to Hotty?

I confess, I haven't read your other W*Fiction, but I shall and also I sent you one PM on the other account, please don't feel I overlooked it!😊
Edited by Rabba-Ve-Delena - 11 years ago

OMASR,...

ROTFLMFHO...these WT fictions are freakin awesome...

The alternate names take some time getting used to but once u get them its freaking hillarious...

Where the hell did u get lost in btwn...now I get why ur called loopy...
By toopy lolz

This was awesome...thnks for pm

Avni

🤣

 Ha! ha😃😃.
Hotty is the cattest creature here- he refuses to be hot!
As for twatty- he will always be the ASS!
Edited by Japonica - 11 years ago

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆Gilty : You dont do happy😆😆😆😆😆😆😆