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The C. N. A. T. (Page 44)

DeewaniRimi IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 05 December 2012 at 4:22am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Vaarali
Parvati closed her eyes and mentally called her mother.

"Hello?" answered a voice. 

"Amma" wailed back  Parvati. 

"What is the matter beti ?" 

"Problem is Shiv...I mean...my...hus...er...your Son in Law"

"Why? Is he thinking of going away some where again? I will ask Narada for a way out... I will..."

"No...No...Amma...wait...Listen to me first... He is all the time with me. That's the problem."

"What?"

"He is all the time stuck in Kaliash. Doesn't go anywhere...all the time talking ...lecturing... gyan...moksh...aatmaaa...etc...etc...and he doesn't allow me to go anywhere either. I need to go shopping...remember the saree you gave me for Diwali?"

"Which one- the red or the white?"

"Big difference...all the sarees I have are only red or white. Anyway...the Diwali saree... I am yet to get a blouse stitched for it. And I need to purchase a new eyeliner and some moisturizing lotion...you know how harsh winters are in Kailash...

"Oh...Beti...while you are shopping can you get me a bottle of..."

"OH MA,  for God's sake...Assuming I get to go out of the house. Why cant Shi... I mean why can't he leave me alone for sometime?

"Beti, I have the perfect idea. You can donate your husband to some worth brahmin."

"Great idea Ma. You're such a life saver. Now what did you want me to buy for you...?"

This is how, in order to get some time for herself Parvati donates Lord Shiva to the Sanakadi rishis.

A while later: 

Parvati transports herself to Pondy Bazaar in Chennai (the mecca for silk sarees) and is debating whether to enter Nalli's,  Kumaran, or Pothys (all saree stores...specifically silk saree stores). After a lot of mulling she decides to grace 'TheChennai Silks' with her presence.

A few hours later:

"Hello...Amma... I am having two sarees in my hand... one is peacock green and the other is peacock blue. Which one shall I take?"

"Take the red one Parvati" came a voice from behind. Parvati whirled around.

"Swami? You here?  I thought the sanakadi rishis had taken your away."

"Oh yes. They did. On the way I talked to them about Dharma Shastra, then I lectured  them on the hidden meaning behind the "OM", then Rishi Gautham came and he wanted to know about the nyaya shastra...So I talked about that too...When I opened my eyes... they had all fallen asleep.
I gently woke them up and began my discourse on the importance of Silence. Then I pointed out flaws in their yoga / meditation techniques. At the end of it...

"What happened?" asked Parvati her heart sinking...

"They said they could not tolerate me anymore and asked to me to inform you that they were returning your daan. So here I am...beside you. Take the red saree and the white one too..."

"Oh No...Amma..." wailed Parvati.

Writer's note: All characters in this piece are fictitious. Any resemblance to any character- mythological or otherwise - especially from a TV mytho show...is purely intentional
 


ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL
VaaraliROFLROFLROFLROFL Please send our sweetest Bhrata Ganesh with Ma Parvati next time.Because when Ma will be busy to choose the different colours of saree Bro will surely keep busy his Dad by his different mischeivious activities.WinkROFLROFLROFL

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.Vrish.vanadhi

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Posted: 05 December 2012 at 4:29am | IP Logged
oh no looks like i missed many events of CNETOuchthought to take break until T20 of CNET overWink
@Varaali:Parvati's silk saree purchase ROFLshe supposedly went to Kaanchipuram naWinkbut chennai Pondy bazar got a privilege to receive Maa Parvati but poor Parvati her shopping excitement not last for longLOLThere comes Mahadev after lecturing so many people n make them fall asleep ROFLParvati calling Mena "Amma"Shockedi mean Amma is a Tamil word na Geekor the word Amma is in Hindi tooConfused


Edited by hemaDaganKhian - 05 December 2012 at 4:37am

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vanadhi

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Posted: 05 December 2012 at 4:59am | IP Logged
hema

T20 will coincide w/ the real T20.  But thatnks for reminding me - Vinayak can join GG.  Now question - who should be the skipper - Nandi or Vinayak? Evil Smile

In the meantime, stories will continue

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vanadhi

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Posted: 05 December 2012 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by .Vrish.

  • Following the curse Indra gets from Rishi Gautama, he approaches Parvati.  However, Parvati is livid @ him and tells him to get lost Clap
  • Parvati then regrets how she supported the Devas against the Asuras, and recalls that the asuras were never guilty of what the devas were.
  • She decides that the devas need a permanent Damocles sword hanging over them, but the current asuras are too independent.  She needs one that will both keep the devas on a leash, but not persecute innocent bystanders.
  • Accordingly, after she creates Ganesh, she invites Kartikeya, Meenakshi, Devasena and Asoka, and tells them that she wants them to help her build a statue
  • Kartikeya asks her - whose statue, and Parvati tells him - our very own Asura.  You've seen what Indra did to Ahilya, and after that, I've decided that he needs a permanent asura to straighten his @$$ whenever he strays even slightly
  • Kartikeya was delighted - that ingrate has never passed up an opportunity to insult me, so I agree, mom, this is the right punishment.  Let's start on the statue
  • Vinayak suggests - let's draw the plan for the statue, and then start on that.  Parvati agrees, and they all decide to divvy up the work and built a big statue of a big asura
  • Parvati picks the head, Kartikeya and Devasena the arms, Vinayak the midribs and Meenakshi and Asoka the legs and feet.
  • Very quickly, the statue is completed, and Parvati blesses it w/ life - and immortality.  Mahadev arrives and blesses it that it would never do anything adharm, and Kartikeya blessed it that it would never be defeated in battle by anyone.  Vinayak blesses it that it will never be arrogant.  Asokasundari blesses him to be handsome, and Meenakshi blesses him to be completely intelligent.  Mahadev then disappears.
  • Since this asura has been created to keep the devas on a leash, Parvati names him Dandasura
  • Devasena, seeing Kartikeya so happy, fesses up the full reason of why she was sent to him by Indra in the first place.
  • Kartikeya is annoyed that Indra tried to disrupt his tapasya, and suggests to Parvati that Dandasura's first assignment be to disrupt Indra's penance.  Dandasura objects, saying it would be very improper, and Vinayak agrees w/ him.  However, Kartikeya points out to Parvati that Indra should be taught the importance of not disrupting other people's penance, and so Parvati agrees w/ him, and overrules Dandasura
  • So Dandasura goes off to disrupt Indra's penance.  He takes the form of a beautiful apsara, and starts dancing.  Initially, Indra ignores it, but Dandasura then starts tossing in hymns praising Vishnu, and then fakes Vishnu's Mohini roop and addresses Indra as though he was Mohini.  
  • Indra, having lost a lot of his powers, can't tell that this Mohini is fake, and so listens to her.  Dandasura tells him that a quicker way to get liberated and get his throne back is to take a female form and offer himself to any rishi who's lusty.  It would give him an empathy about what Ahilya went through, and also help expose fraudulent rishis who use their status to mask their true intentions
  • Indra asks who to start w/, and Dandasura suggests Durvasa Evil Smile
  • Indra takes the roop of an apsara and goes and tries that on Durvasa.  But Durvasa recognizes that it's Indra and curses him to lose his masculinity and become a woman on earth and constantly molested by lusty men of all kinds for several yugas LOL
  • In the meantime, the devas are arguing over who should become king
  • Dandasura goes there and suggests Surya's name, on grounds of him being Aditi's eldest son
  • Dandasura then returns to Kailash and tells Kartikeya, Parvati, et al - Mission Accomplished! LOL

  • Parvati now wants Rishi Gautam to be punished, for his cruel treatment of Ahilya
  • Accordingly, she orders Dandasura to go and punish Rishi Gautam
  • Dandasura thinks about it, and considers that Rishi Gautam would be able to use his divine powers in damaging, if not destroying him.
  • He then goes to Rishi Gautam in the disguise of Rishi Durvasa, and challenges him to a game of dice @ his place.  Parvati ensures that Gautam cannot detect who he really is.
  • He then goes to Rishi Durvasa in the guise of Rishi Gautam, and praises him for punishing Indra.  He tells him that he has to leave
  • Soon, the real Gautam comes and reminds Durvasa of his challenge.  Durvasa denies that he challenged Gautam, while Gautam accuses him of lying.  Both are enraged and glare @ each other
  • As a result of the glare, both rishis are reduced to ashes
  • Dandasura takes the ashes and takes it to Parvati to show him
  • Parvati is delighted and asks him what boon he wants.  He asks to marry Meenakshi.  Meenakshi refuses, but Mahadev & Parvati both command her, and she's forced to do it Evil Smile  They have a great wedding
  • Following the wedding, Parvati takes the ashes of Gautama & Durvasa and starts working on her next statue LOL

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mnx12vanadhiDeewaniRimivaraali-Nymphadora-

DeewaniRimi IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 2:02am | IP Logged
Originally posted by .Vrish.
  • Following the curse Indra gets from Rishi Gautama, he approaches Parvati.  However, Parvati is livid @ him and tells him to get lost Clap
  • Parvati then regrets how she supported the Devas against the Asuras, and recalls that the asuras were never guilty of what the devas were.
  • She decides that the devas need a permanent Damocles sword hanging over them, but the current asuras are too independent.  She needs one that will both keep the devas on a leash, but not persecute innocent bystanders.
  • Accordingly, after she creates Ganesh, she invites Kartikeya, Meenakshi, Devasena and Asoka, and tells them that she wants them to help her build a statue
  • Kartikeya asks her - whose statue, and Parvati tells him - our very own Asura.  You've seen what Indra did to Ahilya, and after that, I've decided that he needs a permanent asura to straighten his @$$ whenever he strays even slightly
  • Kartikeya was delighted - that ingrate has never passed up an opportunity to insult me, so I agree, mom, this is the right punishment.  Let's start on the statue
  • Vinayak suggests - let's draw the plan for the statue, and then start on that.  Parvati agrees, and they all decide to divvy up the work and built a big statue of a big asura
  • Parvati picks the head, Kartikeya and Devasena the arms, Vinayak the midribs and Meenakshi and Asoka the legs and feet.
  • Very quickly, the statue is completed, and Parvati blesses it w/ life - and immortality.  Mahadev arrives and blesses it that it would never do anything adharm, and Kartikeya blessed it that it would never be defeated in battle by anyone.  Vinayak blesses it that it will never be arrogant.  Asokasundari blesses him to be handsome, and Meenakshi blesses him to be completely intelligent.  Mahadev then disappears.
  • Since this asura has been created to keep the devas on a leash, Parvati names him Dandasura
  • Devasena, seeing Kartikeya so happy, fesses up the full reason of why she was sent to him by Indra in the first place.
  • Kartikeya is annoyed that Indra tried to disrupt his tapasya, and suggests to Parvati that Dandasura's first assignment be to disrupt Indra's penance.  Dandasura objects, saying it would be very improper, and Vinayak agrees w/ him.  However, Kartikeya points out to Parvati that Indra should be taught the importance of not disrupting other people's penance, and so Parvati agrees w/ him, and overrules Dandasura
  • So Dandasura goes off to disrupt Indra's penance.  He takes the form of a beautiful apsara, and starts dancing.  Initially, Indra ignores it, but Dandasura then starts tossing in hymns praising Vishnu, and then fakes Vishnu's Mohini roop and addresses Indra as though he was Mohini.  
  • Indra, having lost a lot of his powers, can't tell that this Mohini is fake, and so listens to her.  Dandasura tells him that a quicker way to get liberated and get his throne back is to take a female form and offer himself to any rishi who's lusty.  It would give him an empathy about what Ahilya went through, and also help expose fraudulent rishis who use their status to mask their true intentions
  • Indra asks who to start w/, and Dandasura suggests Durvasa Evil Smile
  • Indra takes the roop of an apsara and goes and tries that on Durvasa.  But Durvasa recognizes that it's Indra and curses him to lose his masculinity and become a woman on earth and constantly molested by lusty men of all kinds for several yugas LOL
  • In the meantime, the devas are arguing over who should become king
  • Dandasura goes there and suggests Surya's name, on grounds of him being Aditi's eldest son
  • Dandasura then returns to Kailash and tells Kartikeya, Parvati, et al - Mission Accomplished! LOL

  • Parvati now wants Rishi Gautam to be punished, for his cruel treatment of Ahilya
  • Accordingly, she orders Dandasura to go and punish Rishi Gautam
  • Dandasura thinks about it, and considers that Rishi Gautam would be able to use his divine powers in damaging, if not destroying him.
  • He then goes to Rishi Gautam in the disguise of Rishi Durvasa, and challenges him to a game of dice @ his place.  Parvati ensures that Gautam cannot detect who he really is.
  • He then goes to Rishi Durvasa in the guise of Rishi Gautam, and praises him for punishing Indra.  He tells him that he has to leave
  • Soon, the real Gautam comes and reminds Durvasa of his challenge.  Durvasa denies that he challenged Gautam, while Gautam accuses him of lying.  Both are enraged and glare @ each other
  • As a result of the glare, both rishis are reduced to ashes
  • Dandasura takes the ashes and takes it to Parvati to show him
  • Parvati is delighted and asks him what boon he wants.  He asks to marry Meenakshi.  Meenakshi refuses, but Mahadev & Parvati both command her, and she's forced to do it Evil Smile  They have a great wedding
  • Following the wedding, Parvati takes the ashes of Gautama & Durvasa and starts working on her next statue LOL


Oh my God!ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLBy the way thanksROFLfor punishing IndraROFL
ROFLROFLROFLROFL

Edited by mrmrfrevr - 06 December 2012 at 2:03am

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.Vrish.vanadhivaraali

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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 2:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by varaali

Meeting no 137 b/w the CVs of DkDM and Ganesh & Kartik

CVs 1,2, 3 and 4 are seated on one side of the table. A very angry Kartikeya with his brother Ganesh is on the other side.

KArtikeya (thumping his fist on the table) : You made me kill Tarakasur (I would have killed Surapadman too, if you morons knew he existed) and now you are denying me marriage. I refuse to remain a bachelor. I am married and that is how you should show me.

CV 1: But you are indeed unmarried. That's how we know you. You are Kumar Kartikeya...

KArtikeya: (staring right into the CV's face) Which idiot says so?

CV 1 : All the idiots... I mean ...pundits in North India say so. I am myself one.

Kartikeya: You are an idiot?

CV 1 : No, I am a pundit.

Kartikeya : Ha, ever visited south? Been into any of my temples? I have not one but two wives... You better show both of them.

(Kartikeya lunges forward and points his spear at the CV's neck)

CV 1: (eying the spear at his throat and raising his hands) Ok Ok...We will show you as getting married.

Kartkeya: Make it a Maha Episode and make it quick. i don't want to keep my Valli waiting.

CV 1 ( nods helplessly). Jaisi aapki ichcha...

Kartikeya : Oh one more thing...It better be a proper Tamil wedding...

CV 1: Oh, whatever...Tamil / Telgu / Malayalam... Aap jo kahe...Waise, meri Shadi to ho gayi

Kartikeya lowers his spear and turning around, walks away. While going he winks at his brother and gives him a thumbs up sign as if to say "Sorry, brother, I pipped you"

This only infuriated Ganesh further. He whirled his trunk in the air and brought it down on CV 2. Smack! Smack! Smack!

CV 2 : Ayyo ...Appa... Saaami... Vinayaka Perumane... What are you doing?

Ganesh: So you think that you can get away by marrying my brother but not me? Smack!

CV 2 : But ...Vinaayakaaa... you are the respected elder brother of our Murugan Swami... You are not suppose to be married...

Ganesh: Then who are Riddhi and Siddhi? Smack... Smack...Smack... You tamils think you are all very knowledgable...Thinking that centum in Mathematics is everything...Have you bothered to even get acquainted with other cultures?

CV 2: Shaking his head helplessly...

Ganesh: FYI, I too am married... I too have two wives... And you better show both of them to...Ok?Or...(Ganesh whirls his trunk menacingly)

CV 2 : Seri... Seri...OK...As you say...

By this time CV 3 was in a state of mortal terror. He heard a voice behind the door. "Excuse me? Is that one of the CVS?

CV 3 : (closing his eyes) Areey whoever you are... you too can have two marraiges..two wives...two mega episodes...

Visitor: Relax son...

CV3 opens his eyes " Mahadev! Prabhu! Aap?"

Mahadev : Relax son... Now what were you saying about another marriage for me?"

A curious rumbling sound is heard. Ma Durga in her rudra roop manifests herself pointing her trident at the third CV

Durga : You are from bengal, isn't it? Do you fear my wrath? How dare you even suggest another wife for Mahadev? Aami... Aami... tomaake...

CV 3: faints down in terror, promising he will visit at least 51 Puja Pandals next year...

CV 4 (clicking on Google and typing): Nandi + marriage + wife...


Note: Whatever I have written is purely in jest...No offence meant...



ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL
You are hilarious ROFLbut at a time superbly awesomeClapClapClapClap

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sanju01vanadhivaraali

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Posted: 07 December 2012 at 8:34am | IP Logged
I found this sloka in an old book. I found it amusing. The original is in Sanskrit- I will give the translation here

Children quarreling and taking their complaints to their mother is a common sight in every home. 

Here too, in Kailash, Ganapati and Skanda have been fighting and Ganapati is weeping. Seeing this Parvati tries to mediate:

Parvati : O Heramba (Ganapati)! Why are you crying?

Ganesha : Brother (Skanda) twisted my ears...

Parvati : O Shanmukha! Why did you do such a thing?

Skanda:  It was he who counted all my eyes...

Parvati- Ganapati, It was not correct on your part

Ganapati: First, he tried to measure the length of my trunk...

Thus the complaints multiplied. Let Parvati who is watching the amusing quarrel between her children protect you. 

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.Vrish.vanadhiDeewaniRimijayvenk

DeewaniRimi IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 07 December 2012 at 8:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by varaali

I found this sloka in an old book. I found it amusing. The original is in Sanskrit- I will give the translation here

Children quarreling and taking their complaints to their mother is a common sight in every home. 

Here too, in Kailash, Ganapati and Skanda have been fighting and Ganapati is weeping. Seeing this Parvati tries to mediate:

Parvati : O Heramba (Ganapati)! Why are you crying?

Ganesha : Brother (Skanda) twisted my ears...

Parvati : O Shanmukha! Why did you do such a thing?

Skanda:  It was he who counted all my eyes...

Parvati- Ganapati, It was not correct on your part

Ganapati: First, he tried to measure the length of my trunk...

Thus the complaints multiplied. Let Parvati who is watching the amusing quarrel between her children protect you.


CryI am feeling bad for the both .Cry
But you are too good.

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.Vrish.vanadhivaraali

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