Ganesh however is not amused at the idea of him being the PR for Indra. He knocks off Indra's crown and grabs him by the neck w/ his trunk.
"You dare use my fair name in the PR agency, and I'll have them sued. What's more, there won't be a single lawyer to dare represent them."
Indra, "Okay, I won't use your name. I'll put Narada in your place instead - who better than him to run a PR campaign. Look what he actually did w/ Changu, Mangu & Tingu - managed to turn Mahadev himself against them".
Narada: "How do you suggest that we do this - w/o deprecating the Puranas and asking people to follow ONLY the Vedas? And not just that - your tryst w/ Ahilya happened in the Ramayan - we'd have to deprecate that. Even in the Mahabharata, you begged Karna his armor & earrings, not b'cos you had favs b/w the Pandavas & Kauravas, but b'cos you favored your own son over your nephew"
Indra: "Hey, that's a great idea. Run a PR campaign telling everybody that the Puranas are junk, and that the Vedas contain the only truth. Blow out the epics as well - in the Mahabharata, I actually help the killer of my great grandson Parikshit, so that doesn't look too good on me either"
Lakshmi: "Just hold it!!! All of my husband's greatness comes from the Vishnu Puranas - you want to blow that away? And deprecate the Ramayana - are you mad? And the Mahabharata - that's what contains the Gita, which is a good part of why a good majority of the believing population believes in him - albeit in his avatars."
Indra: "Yeah, and look at what it's done. Every lowly female human thinks that they'd be lucky to have your Vishnu for a hubby. What's more - they rationalize that by pretending to be you. Now, do you really like other women having fantasies about your hubby, and thinking that they are you? Deprecate these texts, and you'll have a much more blissful life. Not like Rukmini, who had 16,107 competitors, much less half a billion. They are cloning you and attaching all sort of weird-ass adjectives to your name to justify themselves going after your hubby. And think about the texts that have your hubby as Mohini, and as Mahadev's wife - none of that if they go the Vedas-only route"
Lakshmi looks thoughtful, and agrees.
Vishnu however objects: "Indra, you forget that w/ Changu, Mangu & Tingu, you didn't really have a case, but I supported you - to the point that some consider me your sock-puppet. The asuras were following the Vedas, but Narada & I got Arihan to lead them astray. Now, in return, you want to obliterate all the books that have made me great? Despite all I did for you?"
Indra: "Well, you left me to hang dry after Bali was after me, and conquered my kingdom. And you gave him an entire Manvanthara after that. How is that standing by me even when I do wrong - such as killing Virochan?"
Vishnu: "Virochan was my devotee, and you were jealous. At any rate, you've forgotten what I did for you as Vamana, after your mom came crying to me. I now see what I did wrong."
Kartikeya is also furious. "You ingrate!!! You and your devas were slaves to Taki - I liberated you. I even liberated you from Surapadman, who made you all sweep his city, and made your son Jayanta a jailbird. You don't even respect me as a son-in-law, and now you want to obliterate my achievements! As well as my father's? I'll become the Asura pradhan-senapati if you dare go through w/ this. You've been at the receiving end of my bro Andhaka - that's nothing compared to what you would see if I went against you."
Indra: "Kartikeya, tell me, did you actually fight Vritra? Were you battling him, and did I stab him from behind to actually rob you of the credit of defeating him? Your parents weren't even married when I fought Vritra".
Kartikeya: "No, I didn't fight Vritra, but you've done what you could to convince half the people that I have nothing to do w/ ya, and am not your SIL. You're getting no support from me unless and until you fix that."
Mahadev: "Well, Indra, you brought up Changu, Mangu & Tingu. If you recall, they weren't doing anything wrong, so to destroy them, you & Vishnu created Arihan to lead them astray so that I'd destroy them. Now, what do you think - that you'd just dump Arihan? This is his yuga - he got to preach all his alternate religions, and lead anyone he could astray. His expertise lies in getting people to deviate from Vedic norms - and a side effect of that would be that people stop seeing you as good, and see you as either grey or black. This is your doing - you couldn't co-exist w/ the asuras, even when they were doing nothing against you and were actually following the vedas, so now, the being that you created is the cause of your being defamed, since people no longer follow the Vedas. And that'll continue until Kalki avatar".
Indra: "That's a long wait. Narada, how about we send some people to I-F to tell them that the Vedas are the only true texts.?"
Narada: "We didn't, but some people have already tried that. They get the reputation of being trolls, and some even got banned when they tried too hard. There's no way you're gonna win there".
Indra: "Hey, I have an idea. Wean people away from religious programming altogether. I have this great idea called 'saas-bahu', which is a new genre of programming that focusses on kitchen politics. Let's introduce this, and hijack people away from DkDM and others like it in droves. Look at how they won against JJMD.
Suddenly, Durga appears, and is livid. Indra quickly disappears from there, and so Durga summons Mahakali to go after Indra. Mahadev calms down Durga & Mahakali.
In the meantime, Vishnu is not happy that he too would be a casualty of Indra's scheming, and at Lakshmi acquiescing to it, and gets together w/ another TV production team that's working on the Mahabharata.
Edited by .Vrish. - 26 April 2013 at 5:47am