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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Khushi's Resistance

Charishma Goldie
Charishma
Charishma

Joined: 05 October 2005
Posts: 1194

Posted: 19 July 2012 at 12:06am | IP Logged

Soo, the truth has come out. Shyam's been outed. Arnav has been rescued. Took a while. But it all happened. And I must say, ASR's proceeding behavior is not at all unexpected.

"I wish I never met you".

Maybe it was a little shocking. That he would say that so soon after she risked life and limb for him. A lot of people are saying that this is just a cute back and forth. That Khushi's resistance (to ASR's romantic moves) is just another example of one of her "childlike" antics. Or that this too shall pass. That she will quickly give in, like always. I disagree. Khushi's reactions are 100% pure woman. Or maybe just plain human??

I have recently watched over 2 months episodes, and I've noticed a lot of implications about ArHi's relationship, that lead me to believe this is more than "bratty" (let me count the ways I dislike that description
LOL) behaviour. That Khushi is (at her core) disinterested and unwilling to engage with Arnav. That disregarding any stupid contract, or ASR's insistence that she stay, there are a lot of reasons for Khushi to feel and act the way that she is.

1. When ASR first got kidnapped, his "I love you" to Khushi is what tipped her off that something was wrong. It would've been funny if the circumstances hadn't been so dire. I think ASR is convinced that Khushi was tipped off because she was shocked that he confessed his love for her. But Khushi's reaction shows that, she in her heart of hearts, believes his declaration to be questionable. I wouldn't go so far as to say she doesn't believe him. In that moment, she truly did believe it.

Disregarding that moment when he confessed (when she seemed so utterly happy), she doesn't trust his brand of love. At the end of the day, she doesn't believe he loves her the way she loves him.

Khushi has no confidence in ASR's love. Maybe she thinks his love for her is unreliable. Otherwise, why would his off the cuff "I wish I'd never met you" affect her as it did? I think Khushi doesn't believe that ASR's love is constant or lasting. He flips the switch on her all the time. So she's completely justified in thinking so. And if she doesn't trust his love for her, why should what she believes to be fleeting romantic gestures, make any difference?

2. Direction or Creatives have made attempts to draw similarities between ASR and Shyam. Please don't throw things at me LOL. I fully understand that Shyam is unbalanced and malicious, and ASR is a marked improvement. But, as far as Khushi is concerned (in the beginning), their treatment of her wasn't all that dissimilar. 

Case in point:
(1) There were more than a few scenes between Khushi and Shyam (during the kidnapping track), in which he would grab her (by the shoulders), or twist her wrist or arm. Every one of those moments were quite similar to numerous occasions when ASR would grab Khushi. She even responded the same way, "Let go of me". Her facial expression would always be more teary with ASR, and more angry with Shyam, but otherwise, those scenes were similar.

(2) In the veryyy beginning of the show, Shyam was a married man hitting on Khushi. ASR was a boyfriend, and later, an engaged man hitting on Khushi. Shyam was much more express and active in his pursuit. But at the end of the day, both were unfaithful. ASR moved his girlfriend into his house, got engaged to her, and it all had to do with Khushi. His attentions, were at times, no less destructive to Khushi than Shyam's obsession. His treatment of people needs to change.

I'm an ASR fan, truly. I love his style. But, sorry to say this, the guy has a lot of internal work that needs to be done, before he's fit for a meaningful relationship. I've seen changes in him, but there's still a way to go. Maybe that is also what Khushi is thinking when she comes across her favourite dish and pretty gifts?? He told me he wished he had never met me, and he apologizes by trying to buy my love back?


(3) Khushi's recent double agent stint (Loved. this. track). Detective PS (aka Khushi) faked a liking for Shyam in order to gain his confidence. During those scenes, she spoke about her hate for ASR and Shyam. That she hated both of them. She spoke with so much certainty. Ofcourse this isn't true now, but it was true at one point. When ASR first married her and brought her home, she responded to his "I hate you's" with her own. We have always seen ASR's hate being tempered by his love. And Khushi's love being tempered by hate. Point being, while ASR's hate has been dealt with, Khushi's hasn't been. She just conveniently forgets whenever the story needs to move ahead. Is that on oversight on PH's part, or was it on purpose?

ArHI have a roller coaster relationship. Most of the time they're at a low, and the highs only come when they're wayy out of their element, or caught up in the moment. I.e. He's in the act of being held hostage, or they're staying at her parent's house (no RM and no office, so Arnav abandons ASR in favour of being Gupta SIL). They are never normal (loving, or even barely civil to each other) in their day to day RM life.


Basically, ASR needs to prove to Khushi that he is not just out to hurt her, or use her. They are back to their normal RM life. They are not living in any altered reality like they were for most romantic interludes. His recent gestures are very real. No more getting swept away in darkened corners. He is actively trying to woo her. While Khushi can get caught up in the moment during those other surreal experiences, its another thing to consciously let down your guard when you are fully attuned to what is going on. When you walk in and see a set-up just for you. When the stakes (of life and death) aren't so high, or reality isn't so far removed. And reality is: He said what he said, his sister hates Khushi, and ArHi have a contract marriage.

Considering all that, why should Khushi be responsive to any romantic gesture from him? Why should she even care that he wants to make her feel better? If I were her, I'd feel better if my husband (?) actually listened to me for once. They're relationship is despicably un-leveled. I'm taking from her perspective here, so don't shoot Star. Its just, I find no fault with her recent hesitance. I think its very real, and very heartbreakingCry.

3. Arnav's slowly growing ability to empathize with Khushi's pain. Her tears didn't always bother him. Before that, it was always "natak", and long before it was natak, he enjoyed her tears. I very clearly remember the scene where he announced his engagement with La. Basically, ASR is just beginning to realize how much he has hurt her. He has just now acknowledged to himself that he loves her. He's an in the moment type of guy, not prone to introspection or living in the past. So all those moments, where he came close to confessing only to stop, it wasn't just that the words didn't come out of his mouth. For a guy like him, it also meant that the realization didn't happen on any conscious level either. Even as recently as the airport scene (just before he was kidnapped), he asked himself, "Why does she affect me so?". As a result of this recent realization, his behaviour changed. But like any changes in behaviour, people are going to regress, at least in the beginning. So he wished he had never met her. But this ASR is much more connected with Khushi than the ASR of the past, so, he realized he had screwed up, and that he owed her better.

My point is, ASR loves her, now knows he loves her, Star and knows that she did not wrong him Star. But he has wronged her. Not just with the fake marriage, but many times before that. He wronged her when he almost kissed her, stole her heart, and then stabbed it (by engaging himself to another woman). My point is, Khushi has loved him, and registered his every crime against her, and silently bore the pain. ASR is just now accepting his love, so where he feels fresh and all giddy with the feeling, Khushi feels bruised and tired. She has been in this relationship for a long time. ASR is more off-on. He checks in at his convenience (whenever he feels he's about to loose her. I.e. Khushi suicide scene, and bridge Shyam truth scene), and then conveniently checks out again. Arnav has just checked in again, only to realize that Khushi might just be ready to check the hell out. She has been disillusioned by this love one to many times. He needs to step it up. That's what her attitude is communicating to him.

4. The use of flashbacks with ArHI, and the differences between what each of them remember.
When ASR first "left" for London, Khushi had a few flashbacks of the many things he had done to hurt her. She remembered the pain. I know that a lot of people think that all of that is in the past. But such things, especially when the wrongdoer doesn't even acknowledge your pain, is not so easily forgiven and forgotten. I think Khushi has buried all of that pain, so deep inside, that she was able to forget about it at times.

Khushi's now not-so recent flashbacks, ASR's increasing daydreams (and flashbacks of the good times), coupled with ASR's recent outburst, all indicate, that the past is not in the past as far as their relationship is concerned. ASR's sins regarding Khushi have not been forgiven, because he has not asked forgiveness for them. He has not taken the time, even in his own mind, to consider how much he has hurt her. He is capable of feeling immense guilt and sorrow at her pain (i.e hitting her with the wood in order to save her), but his willingness to acknowledge his wrongdoing is recent.


ASR's nature, and the way he deals with his childhood pain has been expressly addressed on the show. But what about Khushi? ASR doesn't know how very deeply she feels, hurts, and loves. He doesn't know how her childhood pain has affected her. Could it be, that he hurt her as much as he did, because he somehow thought that Khushi's following smiles and forced cheerfulness meant she was "over it"? What will happen, I wonder, when he realizes that her cheerful nature is not so much 2nd nature, as it is a mask? Is it a mask? I think so. And I think that's the day that ASR will truly realize what he's done to her from Day 1. I do love ArHi, really I do. Its just, Arnav really needs to work on his relationship skills lol


----

Now maybe I'm reaching, (ClapI probably am lol), but I do think the above facts imply a certain number of things about the direction ArHi's relationship will take. ASR needs to prove to her that he is worthy of her love.

A person doesn't necessarily have to earn someone's love. But they do need to earn loyalty, and the promise of togetherness.  I think that's why all these visual comparisons were made between the antagonist (Shyam) and the main male protagonist (Arnav) in the beginning of the show, and recently during the kidnapping. Why Khushi's flashbacks and Arnav's flashbacks were always pitted against each other.

I would go so far as to say that Khushi will leave. Some day soon, she's going to just walk out of the house, and not look back. I honestly believe that her heart can't take anymore. Am I the only one that wants to see a ArHi break-up? I just want Khushi to regroup and for Arnav to realize that he can't dictate everything. You can't just order a woman to be your wife. He really does need to earn his place, like she earned hers.


PS: This is not a "lets bash Arnav" post. I'm simply trying to point out a few things that might explain ArHi's relationship right now.

Whether Khushi actually feels disinterested or if she's just faking in order to make the split easier is irrelevant really. Because Arnav's behaviour easily explains both. As for her making a big deal about ASR not saying "Happy Birthday" to her face to face-- it's not a baseless insistence on her part. She needs to know that he isn't ashamed of loving her. That he isn't denying it anymore. His "I love you" was under duress, and his "Happy Birthday" was said under the cover of dark and guise of a sleeping wife. In light of how horribly he's treated her, his inability to share is feelings, will affect how secure she feels about this (non) relationship. Again, maybe I'm reaching, but I don't think so. Star



Edited by Charishma - 19 July 2012 at 12:19am

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