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After the epic-failure of the athihasic episode , I was drained out of all the energy ! Mistake is entirely mine ,for having great expectation over the episode just because the anticipation to see two soul unite was quiet overwhelming . But it turned out to be a disaster in the sense,what I wanted to see and what was being shown had 180 degree turn !
Now after wailing and cribbing over twitter , decided to pour out my agony in the form of two letters.
Imagine Ram had passed away during the gun shot and this letter is being handed over to Priya after the funeral.
It's over. One way or another, everything comes to an end. It's all over some day. That's perhaps one of the most fascinating truths we know about the entire universe. The stars die, the galaxy die, the planets die. And people die too. I've never been a believer, but the day I fell in love with you, I think I put aside all that was left of my fear of death. I'd realized that in comparison to the universe, a human being, a single human being, me...is infinitely small. Well, I'm not writing this letter to deliver a profound religious or philosophical lecture. I'm writing it to tell you "goodbye." I was just talking to you on the phone. I can still hear the sound of your voice. I imagine you, before my eyes...a beautiful image, a lovely memory I will keep until the end. At this very moment, reading this letter, you know that I am dead.
There are things I want you to know. As I leave for this party, I'm aware of what's waiting for me. I even have the feeling that this party could bring about my death, but it's something that I have to experience, in spite of everything , there is this strong intuition that it might all come to stop. That's why I think this party might lead to my death.
Priya , even though we shared only few months ,
those few months mean the world to me. We shared the same pillow as husband and
wife who had intended to live and grow old together, and I have become as
attached to you as your own shadow. This is what I believed, and I think this
is what you have also thought about us.
This is the first time I've written to you knowing exactly what to say: I love you, I love you, love you, love you. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I want you to know I mean that seriously. I want you to remember me but not grieve for me. If I truly mean something to you, and I know that I do, you will probably suffer when you learn I am dead. But if I really mean something to you, don't suffer, I don't want that. Don't forget me, but go on living. Live your life. Pain will fade with time, even if that's hard to imagine right now. Live in peace, my dearest love; live, love, hate, and keep fighting...
I had a lot of faults, I know, but some good qualities as well, I hope. But you, Priya, you inspired such love in me that I was never able to express it to you...
Straighten up, square your shoulders, hold your head high. Okay? Take care of yourself, Priya. Go have a cup of coffee. It's over. Thank you for the beautiful times we had. You made me very happy. Adieu.
I kiss you goodbye, Priya.
P.S Hand over this letter to Pihu when she turns 15 Years !
I'm writing this note to you now because I don't
know what the future holds for me. I want you to forgive me for not being around
and not being able to be there for you when and if you need me, but I want you
to know one thing above all else. I love you so much that I can't describe the
feelings that I'm going through.
I want you to grow up and be a success at whatever you attempt to do. The time that I did spend with you was a wonderful and enjoyable time in my life and you helped make it that way.
Above all else I need to know that you will always be there for your Mumma and Kush. Your family is more important to you than anything else in this world. I know that there will be times that you get upset with Mumma for not letting you do something that you want to do, but she does really know what is best for you. Listen to her and learn from her advice.
I want you to face life and the problems that it gives you with a positive outlook, because if you think of the bright things in life, it makes the bad things not so bad after all!
You know, although I am up there , floating above , I am still a human with many faults. I feel the pain of separation, the pride of a father, and the loneliness of a husband away from his wife like anyone else. And maybe even a bit more acutely.
If only possible Pihu, I will always be with you. You are my Life. I LOVE YOU. Good Bye, Rockstar.
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