Originally posted by: swavai2
This is my POV on legality of MR wedding. I don't call it a marriage, it was a wedding. Please feel free to express your POV after reading the post.
Hi dear all,
Many
girls and boys are upset with the fact that abruptly happened MR
Wedding has been called off equally abruptly, as Rids has returned the
Mangalsootra to Mohan. People are angry for NBT team to have made a
mockery of the
phenomenon of marriage, an institution which is considered sacred by
most of us living today.
Marriage
is an institution which is perhaps the base of family - a basic
system which allows the human beings to grow, an opportunity to being nurtured and loved,
a space to experience the joy of togetherness, acceptance and care -
a space for giving love to others as well. Therefore, I am with you all
about the sentiments, thoughts and significance of marriage as an
institution.
Though in today's Indian society we do see many incidents which have
reduced marriage as either a money - wealth sharing mechanism or a
legally & socially sanctioned way for a man and a woman to enjoy,
offer or force sex on each other.
But dear all, I disagree with you if you think that by showing a fast
track, middle of the night MR wedding and then Riddhima opting out of
it, to free Mohan from this wedding, which would become a pain for
Mohan, Riddhima and Megha, that NBT has made a mockery of the
institution of marriage.
I don't think so. Please spare some more time to read this post. Sorry but its going to be a long one.
One Reason for Mohan - Riddhima wedding to be not really legal:
As per the hindu marriage act a wedding between two hindu persons
shall be legally considered as marriage if the couple performs saptapadi
, i.e., 7 fere + brides parents give her away in the kanyadaan in a
ceremonial manner. Without both the rituals being performed on the same
day, under the guidance of the same priest, the wedding shall not be
considered to be legal.
Though there are weddings which take place following Vedik Rituals
only and they skip Homa - Havan as well as kanyadan. In MR wedding they
did show Homa -Havan but no knyadaan. In the MR wedding they showed 7 fere, sindoor and mangalsootra but no kanyadaan. They showed Riddhima's mother tying a knot but that is
only bandhan but before that she ideally should have given the daughter
away. So, they have not performed the wedding properly, as per both the methods.
Earlier they used to say that only a married couple can perform kanyadaan or a
man alone can do so but a woman alone can not perform kanyadaan. But now
there are incidents where single mothers perform kanyadan for their
daughters. But Rid's mother is not shown to have offered her daughter in
Kanyadaan. Please remember CV's are giving us broad signals by showing
Saroj talking about Kanyadaan, so far twice. :-)
I am no way an expert on religious maters, rather a critic, someone
who raises doubt and argues over logical loopwholes in those maters. May
be because of that I could see these issues. ;-)
Please note sindoor and mangalsootra are symbols used to communicate a
woman's married status, after she is married. These are lifestyle
related symbols which many women use and there are many who don't.
There are many communities and castes and geographic areas in which
hindu married women don't were sindur at all, neither husband putting
sindur is a part of the wedding ritual. E.g., in Maharashtra I know this
for sure. I belong to that state and in our traditional marriage
rituals there is no Sindur but Mangalsutra is important.
Such a diversity of customs goes with Mangalsootra as well. Many
communities have different type of Mangalsootra. E.g., the kind of
mangalsootra mohan has purchased and Rid is wearing is a symbol of a
married woman in Maharashtra, Gujarat and probably Madya Pradesh. Since
the show is based in Indoor that kind of mangalsootra is used and the
word Mangalsootra is said. But come down to south in kerala, women use
Thali, it is not called mangalsootra and it does look very different as
it has no black beeds at all.
In Punjab or further north they use Nathani or nose ring or in
kashmir they have a very long ear ring as a symbol of married woman's
lifestyle.
Due to this diversity of customs the hindu marriage act insists on 7
fere and Kanyadaan. As per the hindu tradition marriage is approved only
if these two rituals are performed in the same wedding mandap under the
guidance of same priest.
Another big problem with the legality of this wedding:
Apart from the preist there got to be 2 witnesses from the bride as well as the groom. They only showed Rid's mom.
MR wedding took place but as per the current marriage registration
system, such a wedding becomes legal only when it is registered in the
govt office. They got married in temple, so they will have to go to the
marriage registerates office in Indoor along with the priest and two
witnesses and photgraphs of kanyadan and feres. Yes, if there is a quick wedding like MR, the marriage
registerate officer may even insist on photos as there is no wedding
invitation card. And we know this, the couple never went for registration, instead Riddhima returned her Mangalsootra.
Do
you think Indu will seriousely like Mohan wedding with Riddhima, after
knowing that Megha loves Mohan and they are getting married? I think she
loves her son enough to understand with whom lies his happiness and
that he accepting to wed with Riddhima was out of frustration. I
seriously want Indu and Megha to stand by Mohan as and when this mess
comes out in the open. I want Indu to throw all her ranting on
Riddhima's parent for emotionally blackmailing him and not bothering to
inform / invite her.
If at the time of
registration any one takes objection - which Megha and even Indu can, the registration
will not take place. IMay be Guru can chip in who has probably heard MR conversation where Riddhima returned her the Mangalsootra and freed Mohan and asked him to go ahead and marry Megha. Due to these people's objections, no registration would take place, thence, here will be no marriage to take divorce from. 😃
So guys chiil. CVs and the PH can not take that kind of punga yaar.
I
had written this post on the phone on last Saturday or Sundy but was too
unsure of posting. Everyone that day was in a different mood and I was
too much occupied with work I got home to complete. Thinking that this
post would generate discussion, I postponed it, for, after posting I had
very little time to follow through the discussion / different POV's.
But
today, as we all are in a mood to celebrate this beautiful couple's
Sangeet Ceremony on the screen, I am dareing to post this. I hope it
does not hert anyones sentiments.
@
Fivir, is this post too long for this thread? Can we post such long
write ups on this discussion thread? I hope it is okay and I am not
breaking any rules.
Thanks All for reading this long post.
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