Dekha Ek Khwaab


Dekha Ek Khwaab
Dekha Ek Khwaab

FF: Heart's Owner Chap 9 updated (pg23) (Page 22)

kakacool123 Senior Member

Joined: 17 December 2011
Posts: 555

Posted: 10 August 2012 at 5:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by chitra_rao

Hey ash Hug, it was an another masterpiece delivered from u, loved the updateClap.

Analysis of ur update:

Part 1: worried prince, princess in distress:I really liked this part. Being a prince he knows how to handle such dire situations. Eventhough he put a farce image of being strong this time too, but he was breaking from inside with the fear of loosing manyata. In the previous updates, u hav made it clear that manyata is falling hard for uday, but in this part, it showed that the fire of love is buring on both sides  Embarrassed good work Clap

Part 2:Naughty Unnati, bahadur Vijay and my smart ass Yash Embarrassed: Gosh with every passingday I'm falling in love with yash.Manyata aur udayveer tho hai made for each other, par yeh yash mujhe de de ash ROFLROFL(do I sound like a gabbar Singh here), and the whole seemaji and cricket scene was comical, I fell down from my chair after reading it . Thanku so much ash, for such a wonderful comical piece Clap I also liked how you explained the indifference to such grave situation by unnati. Loved her naughtiness, agar uske uday dada bodyguard ko pata chala then toh vijay goneLOL. and vijay bhai poor soul,ROFL unnati ki naughtiness ne aadha maar diya , aur phir seemaji ke sixer ne pura maar diya ROFLROFL

Part 3: MAnveer manveer Embarrassed: Manveer in ur ff needn't be touchy touchy or romantic, just their conversation takes me to their dreamland. Be it just conversing, they do it with such emotions and intensity ke bas, aas pas aag lag jati hai. Manyatas concern and her effort in hiding things from Uday was well portraited .Clap OK so u r starting a suspense track with with some deadly villan behind my prince, sound very  fresh and interestingThumbs Up.

part 4 : Maharani Devirani ki jai!Tongue: The conversation between the two ladies was so soulful and blissfull.loved it Clap. I take a bow to this character , really how-much ever sample she might be, but in this part she proves she is a rajwadi and a Queen. She made manyata change her decision and stopped her from backing off, awwwEmbarrassedEmbarrassed, and Uday idiot please realise she means it and is not faking here, like really Day Dreaming

Part 5: Suspense on the roll: This whole character sound so interesting and scary, but then again till manveer are together no fear at all.

PS. Really missed DS here, I expected her to give some moral support to Uday

Oh God Chitra i love reading your anaysis, they're amazing sources of feedback
You crack up when you read my work and i crack up reading what you thought about it. Really!LOL
You can have Yash, he's a real sweetheart and i know he'll cherish you. Tongue

Again thanks for such amazing feedback!! Loook out for the next track and i bet even you won't be able to guess what track i'm going for!
I will try to add DS in next part promiseBig smile


Edited by kakacool123 - 10 August 2012 at 6:12am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


great_love Goldie

Joined: 15 October 2011
Posts: 2249

Posted: 11 August 2012 at 2:46am | IP Logged

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


Roze12 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 May 2012
Posts: 14259

Posted: 11 August 2012 at 3:19am | IP Logged
awesum part cont soon

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udaymanyata07 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 15 February 2012
Posts: 7578

Posted: 11 August 2012 at 3:41pm | IP Logged
kojagoryfan Goldie

Joined: 10 March 2012
Posts: 1855

Posted: 12 August 2012 at 12:52am | IP Logged
waiting 4 next part.plz update soon.
kakacool123 Senior Member

Joined: 17 December 2011
Posts: 555

Posted: 12 August 2012 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
I thank everyone for the support but will have to wait i am now working on other FF - Lost Heritage
vampire12345678 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 08 April 2012
Posts: 5836

Posted: 13 August 2012 at 1:15am | IP Logged
sorry for commenting late ash this part was super duper awesome and fantastical i loved this part it was super nice and super funny the heart and cricket thing just cracked meROFL ROFL  ROFL  ROFL ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  up please update soon and thanks for the pmBig smile

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


roshni101 Senior Member

Joined: 02 March 2012
Posts: 966

Posted: 18 August 2012 at 10:26am | IP Logged
Whn will u update?
Cont soon, eagerly waiting

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