Hi dear NBTans,
I am back with another spoof. Kya karoon control hi nahin hota!! Hope you all like it. It's little long, but please do read till the end.
Love in the time of Kitsch
21/7/2012, TV Nagar, BT News Network
Ever since the news of Monu getting married to RaddiMa has been leaked, all the 'Na Khele Tum Na Maine Score Kiya' fans have lost theie sleep. They have been frantically praying to god hoping for a miracle to happen. Angry fans have also taken the web by storm, writing thousands of posts requesting to stop this merciless butchering of the once wonderful show. Since 'Bakwaas Times' too received hundreds of mails complaining about the present sorry state of the show, we decided to investigate a little about the reason behind these 'twisted than a screw' kind of twists. Our reporter ASatyavati, who had bugged the 'Sans Shine Productions' head Mr. Sudhar Karma's office to find out the reason, has reported word by word.
At Sudhar Karma's office:
Mr. Jappu n Mr. Dappu- Badhayi ho Sir Ji, our TRPs have shot up!!
SK- Bhad mein gaye badhayi!! Do you know how many sulking letters I am receiving since y'day?
Jappu- But why, sir Ji?
SK- Sab aap logon ki meharbani!! Aap donon ko main chun chun ke laaya tha serial success karne! You guys said you will make this show 'the most memorable one' in the Indian telly history. I don't see that happening at all!! Our loyal fans are on a quitting mode!
Dappu- Sir Ji, but we are on the transformation track!! That's why our TRPs are up!!
SK- But if loyal fans quit who will watch the show? Even my screenplay writer Monal Ganpatrao and dialogue writer Subray Sen are also brooding over the way story is shaping up! If they also quit, I will be dead!!
Jappu n Dappu together- Arrey!! When we are here, no fear sir Ji!! Leave everything on our shoulders. We are experienced and will manage all.
SK- No, this time I won't take your words easily. First you convince me about your plan.
So, Jappu n Dappu explain their 'modus operandi' of making a show successful.. and how?!
SK- First, tell me why are you getting Monu married to RaddiMa? Why not Meenu?
Jappu- Sir Ji, to make this love story most memorable, this is essential.
SK (totally confused)- But how?
Dappu- You see sir Ji, If Monu marries Meenu, they become an ordinary couple. They will be lost in atta-sabji, jhadu-pocha tu tu main main aur Kahani khatam. Show samapt hote hi log bhool jaayenge ki Monu-Meenu bhi kabhi the.
Jappu- Lemme explain sir Ji, Krishna bhagwan ke saath log kabhi Rukmini ya Satyabhama ke naam lete hain kya? When people think about Krishna's love, they remember only Radha. Why? Because, she was his unaccomplished love. He was her incomplete dream. This is what has made them an eternal jodi.
Dappu- Yes sir ji, if Sohni-Mahiwal, Heer-Ranjha, Laila-Majnu could get married and live together as a married coulple, would they be as famous as they are now? Would the world ever remember them? Un sab ka pyar adhura raha gaya. Aur isi adhurapan unhe itihas ke panno mein amar kar diya!! Wah wah!! (Dappu claps on his own honour, Jappu too joins)
SK- But that was itihas. This is a fictional TV serial...?
Jappu- Sir ji, fiction mein bhi chalta hai, did you not watch 'Titanic'? And in Indian TV serials, it's the trusted success formula. I am sure you remember 'Kyon Ki Chach Bhi Kabhi Dahi Thi's Kiran and Chandni. As the tragic love birds, they are more famous than the lead couple of the serial. Real life couple hoke bhi, woh serial mein mil na paaye. Isi liye woh itna famous ho gaye!!
Dappu- Haan sir ji, aur wo 'Panauti Zindagi Ki', uske lead pair to kin kin ke saath kitna shaadi kiye! Lekin ek dusre ke saath jyada der tik nahin paaye. Aur isiliye us Piranha-Anubhog aaj bhi fans ke dil mein hain. Is serial se mujhe yaad aaya, is ka woh 'Anubhog-Shoorpanakha' track TRP badhane mein kitna kaam aaya tha!! My God! Bilkul usi tarah hum bhi Monu-RaddiMa track bana sakte hain!! Wah wah!! (Dappu pats on his own shoulder)
Jappu- Wah Dappu Ji! Aap ne to mere mann ki baat bol di! Here, Hi Five!!
SK- But, is all that twist necessary? I mean, simple, sulji hui story bhi success hota hain na, jaise NKTNMSK pehle hua karta tha!!
Jappu-Dappu- Since we have already taken a step backward, sorry we mean forward, we can not look back. Now that Monu is getting married to RaddiMa, but still in love with Meenu, one of these women has to be heartbroken. And you know the famous quote 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'. We can either make Meenu a hurricane in Monu-Raddi's married life or RaddiMa a tsunami in Monu-Meenu's love life. In either cases, show can reap the benefits. But still, to pacify the sullen viewers, we can keep Meenu's character positive, make Monu-Meenu have some intense moments of love like Meenu falling into Monu's arm time and again, rain dance, almost kiss etc... but at the same time keep a check on their union by Raddi's emotional blackmail. Wah wah! What a great idea!! (Jappu-Dappu congratulate each other).
SK (mumbling)- Sudhar Karma, pehle apne kiye karm ko sudhar!! Kuch to soch!!
And before going in to thinking mode, gets up from his chair, switches on the FM. Geeta Dutt's reflective voice fills the room-
Waqt ne kiya
Kya haseen sitam
Tum rahe na tum
Hum rahe na hum
PS: Title is dedicated to my favourite writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
I read today that this wonderful person is suffering from 'dementia' and can not write anymore. It's a really sad news.
BTW, Mr. Sudhar Karma also seems to be suffering from partial dementia, as he has forgotten about his purpose of producing this serial.
Edited by WREX - 12 July 2012 at 1:03am