Applauding phooli - Page 8

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Nazneen

@SiriuslySujal

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

This content was originally posted by: tinoo
yes, i think anandi hasnt had wokka wokka after her suhaagraat with jagya... all these tears we see are just an outlet for pent up frustration ...😆😆 six years is a long time.

🤣 🤣 🤣

I'd be lying if I said that that hasn't crossed my mind at times while watching BV! The thought that she must be pretty frustrated xDDD

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woman11

@woman11

Goldie

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

The simple reason why Phooli and Anandi are behaving differently is because these two people have different dimensions to their relationships.

Once Phooli found out how she was cheated, she could see her whole relationship with Bharat in retrospect. It's like once you know the surprise ending of a thriller movie, you re-watch the whole movie once again with the knowledge of the surprise ending. Phooli realised that it had always been a sham, that her intimate moments with Bharat were part of the game plan, and there was never any genuineness in anything they shared. So she can grieve only about her betrayal, not about any other genuine bonds she shared with Bharat.

On the other hand, Anandi has had four stages in her relationship. The first stage was her intense childhood bond with Jagya who was both her best friend and almost like a sibling growing up together. The second stage was that of adolescent attraction and teenage crush, the third stage was the first adult romantic love she felt and the sexual-romantic bond they shared together. The fourth stage was that of Jagya's betrayal and abuse.

Usually for many of us these 4 stages are played by 4 different people:
Stage 1---the childhood buddy with whom we play and fight
Stage 2---the teenage crush at school: the handsome senior or the sexy male teacher
Stage 3---the college love and first adult relationship
Stage 4---the married abusive husband
Unfortunately for Anandi, all the 4 roles were played by the same man. So Anandi's relationship with Jagya is much more multidimensional than that of Phooli's. Unlike Phooli she cannot look back at the other three stages of her relationship in retrospect in the light of the current knowledge and dismiss the other three stages as a game plan of the current one.

Here we might argue that it would have been alright if Anandi was grieving the first 2 stages of her relationship. We question her because she seems to grieve, quite irrationally, the third stage of her relationship, which has already been counterbalanced by the trauma of the the last stage. We say so precisely because we make a temporal break between the first and second stage on one side and the 3rd stage and 4th on another side (based on age) and hence arrive at our conclusions. However, for Anandi, the disjuncture is not between 1st and 2nd vs 3rd and 4th. Rather, she puts the 1st, 2nd and 3rd stages all on one side and the 4th on the other. For her the 3rd stage was just a continuation of the 1st and 2nd stage, and the compiled good memories of the 1st three stages cannot be erased by the trauma of the 4th stage.

Having said that, I think she needs to put aside the first and second stage of her relationship completely aside and weigh her fourth stage only with her third stage. Else the 4th stage can never even put a scratch on the solid memory bank of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd stages combined. 😭

Edited by woman11 - 11 years ago

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KwitKatts

@KwitKatts

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

This content was originally posted by: tinoo
hi zephyr -- thanks for sharing your story -- i am shocked and dont know what to say -- this is the first time i have heard of such a radical "personality transplant" as you call it.

that being said -- he has the power to turn you into a block of ice -- but does he have the power to turn you into a weeping puddle of moosh where you keep clinging to the old, really old once upon a time when he was good to you memories?

I am not saying one needs to be indifferent ... but I'm sure you didnt look into his eyes when he got on the escalator did you?

You didnt get it..If one can turn into ice the other might turn into water [i.e. 😭] and yet other into fire [i.e.😡] Each and every human being on earth cant be the same!!

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KwitKatts

@KwitKatts

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

This content was originally posted by: tinoo
yes, i think anandi hasnt had wokka wokka after her suhaagraat with jagya... all these tears we see are just an outlet for pent up frustration ...😆😆 six years is a long time.

What😲..I mean [keeping jokes aside] Anandi is 25/26... So many girls actually get married at that age! Really what are you trying to prove??

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aparnauma

@aparnauma

IF-Stunnerz

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

This content was originally posted by: tinoo

I am not talking about her having to break away from the singhs.

I am asking that when the singhs themselves have broken away from jagya, what compulsion is anandi under to stay wedded to his memories?

I am not talking about anyone's physical location -- staying with bharat's inlaws or staying with the singhs etc...

I am talking about mindset/ attitude/ presence of mind and self-respect.

Jagya and Bharat also can not be compared. Jagya has truly loved Anandi as much as his selfish self would allow him.

Bharat has been fake from day 1.That's why it was easy for Phooli to walk away from him.

Anandi has walked away from Jagat.But finds it difficult to walk away from Jagya.

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tinoo

@tinoo

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

This content was originally posted by: katts

What😲..I mean [keeping jokes aside] Anandi is 25/26... So many girls actually get married at that age! Really what are you trying to prove??

I dont know if you know this ... and I am putting this in a nice polite way way ... but once the female body has been exposed to physical aspects of a relationship... it develops a craving for physical intimacy again and again... it is this deep biological urge ... like potato chips... you cant stop with just having one ... and if that urge is not satisfied it leads to tremendous anger, irritability and frustration...

this is just nature's way of ensuring procreation and ensuring that the female is also willing to procreate... a whole set of hormones is activated when a woman first engages in physical intimacy.

If a girl is unmarried until 25/26 and has not had physical intimacy then that urge will not be activated. Those hormones will not be activated.

My point is that when jagya and anandi had their honeymoon and any subsequent interactions thereafter (in the brief period before he went to medical college)... that urge and those hormones would have been activated in anandi ... and not satisfied later on would mean lots of unhappiness, irritability and frustrration.

I was jokingly referring to this, but yes, there is a biological basis for this. If you dont believe me you can read medical textbooks.

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tinoo

@tinoo

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

woman11,

first let me compliment you on your ability to look at an issue, and successfully tease out all the categories and frame rubrics for analysis!! 👏 loved it.

yes, the way you have written it makes me realize that phoolis and anandi's two cases are indeed different ... because phooli did not have the three stages prior to stage four which anandi has had.

I stand corrected on my initial post then. Thanks for explaining it so well.

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753037

Posted: 11 years ago

This content was originally posted by: tinoo

I dont know if you know this ... and I am putting this in a nice polite way way ... but once the female body has been exposed to physical aspects of a relationship... it develops a craving for physical intimacy again and again... it is this deep biological urge ... like potato chips... you cant stop with just having one ... and if that urge is not satisfied it leads to tremendous anger, irritability and frustration...

this is just nature's way of ensuring procreation and ensuring that the female is also willing to procreate... a whole set of hormones is activated when a woman first engages in physical intimacy.

If a girl is unmarried until 25/26 and has not had physical intimacy then that urge will not be activated. Those hormones will not be activated.

My point is that when jagya and anandi had their honeymoon and any subsequent interactions thereafter (in the brief period before he went to medical college)... that urge and those hormones would have been activated in anandi ... and not satisfied later on would mean lots of unhappiness, irritability and frustrration.

I was jokingly referring to this, but yes, there is a biological basis for this. If you dont believe me you can read medical textbooks.

@ katts - I would like to explain my POV in addition to the biological explanation given by Tinoo.I think the CV's have also portrayed this clearly through Anandi's flash backs . Along with her sweet childhood flashbacks ,very often she memorizes the love making/romantic scenes with Jagya . This shows that she misses the romantic part of her life which is perfectly alright for a married girl like Anandi irrespective of her age(when she does it repeatedly, it does piss me off though 🥱) .The best part about Anandi is, she limits herself to memorizing these romantic scenes. She does not go weak/blind enough to accept Jagya back. And hence she earned the right to brood over her past at certain times(once a while like this divorce issue). Also i hope she never ever thinks of Jagya again (esp in a romantic way) , after this divorce.

Edited by -Perseus- - 11 years ago

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