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OS: Power of the Unseen

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-Grace-

IF-Rockerz

-Grace-

Joined: 06 June 2008

Posts: 8304

Posted: 08 July 2012 at 3:27am | IP Logged

I dont know what is this, just a random scene  and that day I was thinking and decided I would write scenes from every day life, not on a particular couple or anything just like that my own characters my own story everything, because i was so tempted. lol

Im not expecting a huge amount of feedback or anything and that is fine and neither will i be sending any PMs for this one.

It came to my mind and i had to write it down and post it somewhere so here it is

_________________________________________________________________


She stepped out of the Mercedes and walked towards the lobby, the only place that could be seen under the pitch black sky. She had to get to the 10th floor and at this hour even that seemed like a challenge. 


Taking slow steps she walked towards the building looking up eyeing her destination that all of a sudden seemed so far, she exhaled a breath, clutching her dupatta tight that covered her head and fell around her knees. 

click click click

The only sound of her heels could be heard in the silent neighborhood as she walked and finally reached the empty lobby

 

She looked through her bag to find the keys, her attention completely focused on the contents of the bag

 

She looked up only to be surprised by a sudden stranger who seemed to have popped out of nothingness.

 His back was facing her, she could tell he was checking his mail and looking for something he expected but disappointed on not finding it he turned around.

She quickly looked away to avoid any eye contact as he was a stranger and she wasn't supposed to look him in the eye.

Chaotic thoughts ran through her head and she quickly shrugged it away

He was standing in her way, how could she walk and not have him notice her

He looked at her baffled by some unknown power that even though he didn't see but could feel surrounding her like a protective shield

He wanted to, wanted so bad to look her in the eyes he was just so tempted but when given the chance he lowered his gaze, surprising himself he moved out of the way and let her pass and she murmured a low "thank you" without adding in extra unnecessary emotions.

 

A sudden gush of respect formed in his heart and for this stranger, he didn't know why but he liked the feeling.

With that she took a sigh of relief and for the first time in life she realized the power of the cloth that covered her head, covered her soul. 


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SmileyStar

IF-Rockerz

SmileyStar

Joined: 20 September 2011

Posts: 5212

Posted: 08 July 2012 at 3:59am | IP Logged
RES!! Big smile

Ok, Now I'm totally speechless! That was sooo beautifully written! So simple yet sooo powerful and conveying sooo much! I'm awed by your thinking and writing skills! You sure you're only 17?? LOL

I loved it how you've conveyed the importance of hijab! I've noticed it too how guys never try to get free with girls who wear hijab... Instead they treat you respectably and remain reserve... Not trying to hit on you Tongue

And oddly a girl herself feels secure wearing a hijab! Isn't that amazing? Embarrassed

So Awesome piece of writing! I loved this more than any Arhi OS's I've ever read Embarrassed Keep writing Smile

Edited by SmileyStar - 08 July 2012 at 5:21am

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Ameres

IF-Sizzlerz

Ameres

Joined: 28 March 2008

Posts: 21629

Posted: 08 July 2012 at 4:16am | IP Logged
Wow. I mean really wow, in just a few words you gave such a powerful message. Liked the little situation you built there and the emotions aptly described. 
True, a simple piece of cloth can be our protector but if only everyone starts respecting that. :)

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NinaArief

Senior Member

NinaArief

Joined: 10 January 2012

Posts: 418

Posted: 08 July 2012 at 6:23am | IP Logged
my god this is beautifully written. the hijab is always respected in all places, i think it depends on the sincerity of the intention of the wearer also.  amazingly well written. 

Edited by NinaArief - 08 July 2012 at 6:23am

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-Grace-

OnlyHope

IF-Stunnerz

OnlyHope

Joined: 20 January 2005

Posts: 46044

Posted: 08 July 2012 at 1:23pm | IP Logged
Res
-Edit-
 
I JUST commented on the old age thing and now I read this.
WHAT ARE YOU?!
Like HOW do you come up with such amazing things to write about..such mesmerizing concepts that grip you until the very last word and leave you shaken..like each word has been held on tightly by your being and now I'll never be able to let it go!
How beautiful could this get..the power of the cloth...so true..and something I've felt myself..simply fab! <3
 


Edited by OnlyHope - 18 July 2012 at 12:53am

-Grace-

IF-Rockerz

-Grace-

Joined: 06 June 2008

Posts: 8304

Posted: 13 July 2012 at 8:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by SmileyStar

RES!! Big smile

Ok, Now I'm totally speechless! That was sooo beautifully written! So simple yet sooo powerful and conveying sooo much! I'm awed by your thinking and writing skills! You sure you're only 17?? LOL
speechless?? really?? lol i never knew it was that good heheLOL
and thank youuu soo much im so flattered fari hehe and yes i am 17 is too young? LOL

I loved it how you've conveyed the importance of hijab! I've noticed it too how guys never try to get free with girls who wear hijab... Instead they treat you respectably and remain reserve... Not trying to hit on you Tongue
omgg IKRRR that is the best thingg and i love it hehe

And oddly a girl herself feels secure wearing a hijab! Isn't that amazing? Embarrassed
amazing beyond words! and actually that day i was clutching my duppata like tht when i feared it might slip cus it was a slipery material and i had to pass the lobby lol

So Awesome piece of writing! I loved this more than any Arhi OS's I've ever read Embarrassed Keep writing Smile
awww thanks<3

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Sweet_AshumSmileyStar

Sweet_Ashum

Goldie

Sweet_Ashum

Joined: 17 March 2010

Posts: 2258

Posted: 14 July 2012 at 12:18am | IP Logged
Iqraaa
Haila!!! You are only 17????
I feel old now LOL
You always write well now I'm ashamed being a year older than you I cant write this wellt!!!!
You've given the msg so powerfully abt Hijab
N I've noticed guys respect u n keep distance when they see a girl in hijab...n I feel very protected too Big smile
Lovelyyy!!!
Thanks a bunch for the PM Big smile


Edited by Sweet_Ashum - 14 July 2012 at 4:39am

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-Grace-SmileyStar

SmileyStar

IF-Rockerz

SmileyStar

Joined: 20 September 2011

Posts: 5212

Posted: 14 July 2012 at 3:32am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Grace-

Originally posted by SmileyStar

RES!! Big smile

Ok, Now I'm totally speechless! That was sooo beautifully written! So simple yet sooo powerful and conveying sooo much! I'm awed by your thinking and writing skills! You sure you're only 17?? LOL
<font color="#cc0000">speechless?? really?? lol i never knew it was that good heheLOL</font>
<font color="#cc0000">and thank youuu soo much im so flattered fari hehe and yes i am 17 is too young? LOL
</font>
I loved it how you've conveyed the importance of hijab! I've noticed it too how guys never try to get free with girls who wear hijab... Instead they treat you respectably and remain reserve... Not trying to hit on you Tongue
<font color="#cc0000">omgg IKRRR that is the best thingg and i love it hehe</font>

And oddly a girl herself feels secure wearing a hijab! Isn't that amazing? Embarrassed
<font color="#cc0000">amazing beyond words! and actually that day i was clutching my duppata like tht when i feared it might slip cus it was a slipery material and i had to pass the lobby lol</font>

So Awesome piece of writing! I loved this more than any Arhi OS's I've ever read Embarrassed Keep writing Smile
<font color="#cc0000">awww thanks<3</font>




OMG!! You've written this one on your own experience?! Really? Shocked Thats Amazing!! Clap Now I love this one even more! Wink

And yesss! 17 is sooo young! My younger brother's 17 too Masha'Allah and I think of him as a kid! Annoys the hell out of him but I can't help myself! I just find him sooo small! And he doesn't look 17, looks 14, 15 I'd say Tongue So you're a kid who writes sooo well and is sooo good at photoshop too? Well I feel stupid now ROFL

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