Joined: 30 October 2006
Opening: Chandramukhi Chautala (CC) arrives in jeep, looks around and walks into the chowki.
In the Chowki - Intro: Billu doing maalish for Gopi's head and pulls his ears sharply. Gopi asks him to take it easy. Seeing CC walk in, Gulgule (GG) motions her to stop and then to a background aarti music, mimes out a full aarti sequence. Once complete, CC goes to sit at the desk. Gopi stretches (angdaai) and CC says "Statue!". Asks him to remain in that pose until she specifically says "Over". Gopi is stuck. CC asks if there's any case. GG says not yet. Just then – aaiiye aaiiye – A guy walks in with a girl. Guy is carrying a wooden tennis racket. Girl is carrying a stuffed toy (bear).
In the Chowki – the case: Guy (Umesh Bajpai) who has gray hair) says that the marriage is not on. Billu comments this isn't the age to get married, and gets a raipta from CC. Guy clarifies that he isn't talking about his own marriage but his daughter Usha's marriage. The Dad's takia kalaam is "samjhe, ke naheen samjhe?" (Did you understand or not?). Usha (Sapna Sikarwar) introduces herself – Main hoon Usha, bhar doongi bhoosa. Takiya kalaam bol doongi! (I'm Usha. Will stuff you with straw. I will say my takiya kalaam). At this GG says, how can we stop a girl like you (she's wearing a mini-skirt), go ahead and say what your takiya kalaam is. Usha clarifies that her takiya kalaam (oft-repeated saying) is to say – takiya kalaam bol doongi (I will say my takiya kalaam). CC asks her what the problem is and kisne tumhari panjiri bhoonj di – (who has roasted your panjiri (a dessert)). The dad says that the wedding invitation cards have been distributed, half the people have already arrived, he has already arranged for the hall and the halwai (confectioner) has already set himself up at the house. 3 lakhs (3 hundred thousand) have already been spent and 4 lakhs are to be paid soon. And now the groom refuses to get married. GG pipes in – Koi defect ya side effect, so that he gets his raipta from CC. Sapna explains that she's got her heart set on him but now he is refusing. CC asks if it's his parents who are creating the problem. The Dad says that he only has an elder sister, who isn't able to respond to them with reasons. The Dad says that if his daughter Usha isn't able to marry, then he will give up his own life. CC says call the groom. She finally says "over" to Gopi who'd been stuck in his stretch all this while.
In the Chowki – Usha's groom-to-be and his sister: Gopi walks in with the groom-to-be Shor Kumar (Shekhar Shukla ) and his sister (Manju Sharma). The sister says main chikhti hoon (I scream). Billu asks her who does she scream at? And sister clarifies that it's her name – Chikhti Chawla. Her takiya kalaam is "Panditji perfect hain" (The Pandit is perfect). CC says the pandit may be perfect, but they are not behaving perfectly. She asks if the know Usha and Dad. Shor Kumar confesses that it's his father-in-law-to-be and bride-to-be but now the wedding can't happen. His takiya kalaam is Kareena paraayi hai ( Kareena is somebody else's). CC asks if they have any objections to the marriage. Chikhti says she doesn't. Shor also says that he doesn't object to the marriage. But adds that it's somebody else that objects to the marriage. GG asks who is this person who objects, when the girl, the boy, the girl's dad and the boy's sister all of them don't have any objection. Billu gets his memory-loss-attack. Billu says that it's he who objects. He goes on to say that he objects and wants the mill-owners to pay the mill-workers their bonus and until such time, there will be no work at the mill. So, it's apparent that Billu now thinks he's a protesting mill-worker. CC asks him to come down, since he stood up on the desk to protest. And tells him that mill-owner Daga seth has agreed to talk with him. When Billu comes down, she twists his ear to correct his memory. CC then asks Chikhti what's going on. Chikhti clarifies that when their Panditji checked out Shor's horoscope, he found that due to Mangal (Mars), whoever Shor marries will die within the first year of their marriage. Panditji advised Chikhti to get Shor married to a donkey first so that Mars influence can be negated and then when Shor marries the girl, she will last for a long time and so will the marriage. CC says that this marriage to donkeys and trees is superstitious nonsense. Shor agrees too, but says that his sister really has great faith in the Pandit and therefore they got him married to the Dhobi's female donkey. Gopi asks so now, why doesn't Shor get married to Usha. Chikhti clarifies that it's now the Dhobi (washerman who washes clothes) who says that as long as Shor already has a wife (the donkey), then he can't get married a second time per the law. CC says that the Dhobi is saying things full of bodampanti and asks for the Dhobi and the Pandit to be brought to the chowki.
In the chowki – Pandit and Dhobi: Gopi brings the Pandit (Yogesh Sharma) and the Dhobi (Naveen Bawa). Pandit always corrects everybody that he's Pandit Smart Chaturvedi so don't call him just a pandit. He sings one line of a song (Chhan Chhanaana nu – song from Hera Pheri) and then says his takiya kalaam – Biwi Bandit Queen hai (Wife is Bandit Queen). Mangal Dhobi refers to Shor as his son-in-law and asks him not to destroy his daughter's (he refers to his donkey as his daughter) married life and happiness. When CC and GG point out that it's not his daughter but a donkey, Dhobi says that the donkey has the soul of a girl and that he won't let the donkey (called Priyanka) get hurt by Shor Kumar's betrayal. Chikhti says that he had offered the donkey to her when she had been unable to find a donkey herself. CC says that she will put Mangal Dhobi in jail if he doesn't relent. Mangal dhobi says that he's prepared to go to jail and even be crucified for the happiness of his donkey-daughter Priyanka. The Pandit also says that the marriage took place with all the proper rites so the marriage is valid. Dhobi leaves and GG says that the Dhobi also has a point. CC asks Chikhti and Shor Kumar to leave while she works on their case.
In the chowki – Gopi and BP interlude: BP is leaving the chowki when Gopi stops him to give him his paan. Gopi then says that he wants to ask BP for a favor something that he's never asked BP before. BP points out that Gopi asked him for a thousand bucks – Gopi says that BP should forget about that. Then BP points out that he had asked for the jeep too – Gopi asks BP to forget that too. BP points out that along with the jeep, he'd also taken BP's watch to impress Lappi Luthra. Gopi says that he should ignore these minor things. This is a serious case where a friend of his, who's very handsome is being forcibly married to some folks' sister. They are not listening to reason. Gopi had suggested to his friend to tell them that he was already married. Gopi asks BP to go and convince them. BP says that this is a minor case and Gopi should forget it.
In the chowki – Usha and her Dad: Usha and her Dad come with another person to the chowki. GG and Billu are sleeping. Usha wakes up GG (by getting him to fall of his chair) and Usha's Dad asks them to get CC. They explain that CC is doing the rounds and isn't at the chowki. The person they brought with them is the tent decorator and the Dad is wondering whether he should get the tent set up. It's only two days to the wedding and Shor is still saying no. He will need to pay the tent decorator if he gets the tent set up. GG assures him that he should go ahead and get the tent setup since CC is somebody who always comes through when she makes an assurance to anybody. And since CC had assured the Dad, GG was sure that the marriage would happen on time. When Usha, the Dad and the tent decorator leave, GG and Billu express some misgivings about how this case can be solved.
In the chowki – the Commissioner: The commissioner is at the chowki. He says that from every chowki, he's reducing one person. He's thinking that the person to be laid off should be an unmarried one. Gopi says he's married and GG says that he's married too. CC suggests Billu. Billu says that if he's laid off from work, then he, being the Commissioner's brother-in-law, will tell his sister and she will give the Commissioner a lay-off from the home. Commissioner suggests cutting BP since he's unmarried. CC again suggests that Commissioner should consider cutting Billu. And Commissioner says that even CC is unmarried! TO BE CONTINUED.
Guest actors and takiya kalaams in this ep:
Usha (Sapna Sikarwar) – takiya kalaam bol doongi.
Usha's Dad (Umesh Bajpai) – samjhe ke naheen samjhe?
Chikhti Chawla (Manju Sharma) – Panditji perfect hain.
Shor Kumar (Shekhar Shukla) – Kareena paraayi hai.
Pandit Smart Chaturvedi (Yogesh Sharma) – Biwi Bandit Queen hai.
Mangal Dhobi (Naveen Bawa)– Dhoban chunaav ladegi.
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Joined: 30 October 2006
Joined: 24 January 2010
BollyCurry Script Supervisor
Joined: 30 November 2010
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