Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain

   

OS ~Tum se hi ~

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nobo

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nobo

Joined: 14 March 2012

Posts: 4303

Posted: 28 June 2012 at 5:17am | IP Logged

Friends This OS is my Very First  piece of writing. Although I am no writer but felt like sharing this one . Actually I wanted to do a SS but then thought against of it.

  Wanna check if u guys can bear with meWink !!!!!!!

This piece is inspired by some of many wonderful stories I had Read here &

ofcourse their equally wonderful writers, which are

Jessie di(jessiekarthik),  for all her wonderful OS and a SS(story of our fateful life)Clap, u r a true inspiration for all jeeman fans man!! Clap

Pj, for her heart wrenching SS "how life goes on"Clap

Neha.k,  for giving us an awesome story named "tu meri zindagi hai"Clap

 & ofcourse maya for "sainya ve"Clap

 

& yes the songs I used here  acc. to me cud b used on behnas. But still, let me know ur pov on them too after reading ( coz I edited few wordings). So here goes

 

         *****  TUM SE HI: The eventful birthday ******

 His bike was no more what we exactly call "vehicle" & his anatomy resembled to those shown  in biology books as  "unwell-body" when he departed. Maanvi & her pantars watched him going with joy &  a glint of pride in their hearts that their plan worked & he came there alone !!

She returned home all delighted & saw her di who seemed to be in a deep thought.

 Jeevika was thinking of today's incident with atul. But then her attention automatically diverted towards what her beeji had told her the day before. She wanted to get her married now & was now looking for a suitable guy. But "marriage" meant leaving her soul, her mannu behind which reminded her of something

** FLASHBACK*****

An 11 year old manvi was crying because her di(16) had to go haridwar with badi b and she couldn't because of exams. Although the whole trip was for one week but manvi had became lifeless thinking her di left her. Finally when she returned, manvi cried so hard clutching to her kameez that it was almost washed with her tears. Jeevika vowed not to leave her baby sister ever that day.

That night when they they were going to sleep, little manvi brought an old duppata of beeji, tied her di's left and her right hand with that & slept peacefully holding jeevika's hand without fear that she might lose her di again.  

Her peaceful and angelic face strengthened her resolve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

She felt manvi staring at her which brought her back, she quickly changed her mood

Jeevika - u told u'll b back with aashu in 2 min. & its already 3'o clock, 1 hour!!!!

Maanvi( with a dip of satisfaction) - di, I taught him how to behave with women!

 

At 20, manvi was 5 years younger than her teacher by profession di, still she was expert in teahing typical lessons. Jeevika sensed mischief in her sister's eyes

Jeevika( frightened)- what exactly u taught him Mannu and how ?

Manvi- A nice lesson di & in complete manvi choudhary style!

Jeevika ( nw in horror) - god save whats remaining of him!!

Manvi- C'mon di, he deserved it

**FLASHBACK**

Jeevika was returning home from school, she took a half day today as manvi insisted. It was jeevika's  birthday  & while wishing her manvi asked her to take half leave & told that she would be coming to school to walk back with her

BUt then,

Atul( a mischievious guy )- hey sweetie, want a lift??

She ignored him, but

Atul - C'mon, its so hot, dnt burn your beautiful skin!!

J - no thanks, i'll risk it

A- ah, attitude, eh ? but tel me 1 thing, how long will u ignore me &

But b4 he could complete his sentence , someone suddenly popped up in the strret

Manvi- as long as u keep ur abnormally long nose out of her way & course as long as u love ur physical  structure!!!!

A (annoyed, but hiding his fear)- didn't asked for ur views, did I ? go away or i'll make sure u don't diturb us

M(now in a challenging voice)-  i'd like to see u trying that!!!

Atul held her by arms and looked threatingly at her but suddenly someone pushed him back with full force

J- don't u bloody dare touch my sister, whatever is ur problem, deal with me.

 By this time some people gathered there and he decided to go

A- so not this time eh, but i'll be back honey.

M(anger running through her veins)- what the bloody hell, how dare he call my di "honey". I'll defo get u  back for that one

                                          *FB ENDS*

 

& certainly manvi did got him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beeji's voice brought them back to reality & Manvi remembered why she wanted to accompany her di today. She wanted to spend some time on Ganga Ghat but all thanks to that wreck of a guy, her noon wasted in punishing him for ruining her di's mood on her birthday.

M(thinking to herself)  - but dnt worry di, i'll still surprise u.

 both of them went downstairs ( manvi a bit later with her pantars ) to see that dabbu and chachi have decorated the hall and beeji had  made all her fav. dishes. Beeji was going to ask manvi  where she was but

J- beeji, i already asked her, nothing to worry about!!!!

The day was esp. hard for beeji as jeevika had asked for a typical gift that morning

J- ok beeji , if u want to give me sth, then dnt scold mannu today. If she got tears in her eyes today, my  birthday will b nothing more than a decreased year from my life. Please

 

That had made beeji speechless , she smiled & nodded in agrrement

All manvi's pantars were there, not for a treat but to see thier leader sing,  more than anything else.  Yes, she sings very nice but don't sing that often. However, every year on her di's birthday, she dedicate a song to her & never broke the tradition.

J cut the cake & fed everyone when manvi looked at her wishing her birthdays always keep coming like that and wishing she could use feviquick to permanently fix that smile on her di's face 4ever.

Then smiling at her own idea, she took out her guitar & said loudly

For my essence, my soul & reason behind my every success & every smile & every prank,

she added mischieviously. Everybody turned to her & Jeevika just smiled knowing she is going to get her best gift

M , keeping in mind that smile, started to play tune

    na hai ye pana, na khona hi hai

       tera na hona, jaane... kyu hona hi hai

    tumse hi din hota hai, surmayi shaaam aati hai

  tumse hi, tum se hi, har ghadi saans aati hai, zindagi kehlati hai

   tum se hi...

Aadha sawanda kabhi, aadhe se zyada kabhi

Jee chahe karlun iss tarah wafa kaaa

Tode na toote kabhi, chode na chute kabhi

Jo dhaga tumse jud gaya sada ka

Mai tera sarmaya hu, jo bhi mai ban paya hu

Tum se hi, tum se hi

Raaste mil jaate hain, manzilen mil jaati hain

Tum se hi, tum se hi

Na hai ye pana''''''''''''.

 

She then changed the music and continued again conscious not to break the flow

Tu hi toh jannat meri, tu hi mera junnon'

Tu hi toh mannat meri, tu hi ruh ka sukkon

Tu hi akhiyon ki thandak, tu hi jeevan ki raunak, Aur kuch naa jaanu, bas itna hi jaanu'..,  Tujh me rab dikhta hai yaara mai kya karu

Sajde sar jhukta hai yaara mai kya karu

Tujh me rab dikhta h yarra''''''

Kaisi hai ye chahat, kaisi muskurahat,  Meri saanson ko jaise padh liya

Ohoho , kabhi teri khushboo , kabhi teriii baatien, Bin maange ye jahan paa liya

Tu hi dhup tu hi chaaya, tu hi apna paraya

Aur kuch na jaanu bas itna hi jaanu, tujh me rab dikhta hai yaara mai kya karu

Sajde sar jhukta hai yaara mai kya karu,

Tujh meee rabb dikhta hai''. Yaara mai kyaaa karu ( slowly towards end)

 

They all wake up after what seemed like ages. The magic in her voice had done the job. Badi b, dabbu,beeji,chacha, chachi all praised her & her pantars clapped as if she just won an Oscar. But the one person for whom it was & whose reaction was most imp. 4 manvi was silent.

Jeevika was trying to hold back something. Thinking to herself how it was possible that she always cheers her up. Why even simple moments are magical when her mannu is with her. How even house chores are fun & even big problems are nothing when they are together. But then she knew. The answer was smiling at her waiting for some reaction, she could'nt hold longer &  ended up hugging her little sister, her eyes full of tears. She knew what she meant for manvi but today listening to that in her musical voice touched her !!!

M(with mock anger)- oh my! I did it to make u smile & u r crying. Was I that bad?? ( knowing y exactly her sister was crying, but adamant to make her smile)

J- no mannu''''.

Everybody started laughing and jeevika also smiled

"Yes, I m too good" manvi thaught to herself

"Yes, I agree but not better than me" said jeevika smiling behind her

M- that's not fair, u always''..

J- shh, behne h ham, khoon ka rshta hai hamara!! C'mon dinner is ready

 

CHOUDHARY FAMILY AFTER DINNER:

Beeji- jeevika beta, vijay bhai told me that atul was bothering you!

Jeevika 'usual beeji, nothing to worry about!

Beeji- I know, now plz dnt think its because of atul, but me and your chachu want to see u settled now. With someone who'll b always der 4 u & shastri jee told about a very nice and honest family of lawyers in Chandigarh. I want to call them if u'''

She was cut by manvi

M- plz beeji, I m still alive to be always der 4 di. & as for atul, he won't bother any girl in Hrishikesh again.

Beeji wanted to ask her why and scold her for cutting her but then remembered of that promise and decided against it

Beeji-  so you want to say jeevika shouldn't marry all her life

M- umm no, but lawyers beeji. They will bore di with their talks

B- no one talks law in their homes

M- but they'll judge di for everything

B- she'll be their DIL, not client

M- Chandigarh is too far

B- & a niec place

Everyone was watching in horror, they knew where it was heading

M- C'mon beeji, der's so much air pollution. Di has always been in a nice place like Hrishikesh. She'll get sick & moreover a lawyer, he won't get time for di

Beeji( trying her best not to shout)- stop giving lame excuses. U just don't want her to go away which I understand but think about her happiness too!!

Now that made her speechless. After a long & awkward pause

M- u want to say I m being selfish'''.

She was stopped by Jeevika mid-way

J- enough! Beeji I trust u whatever u decide for me & mannu u must be tired. Lets go to our room

Manvi was willing to say further but she didn't wanted to disobey her di & moreover she remembered sth and followed her di to their room

As jeevika entered the room, she firstly could'nt recognize it but then realized why manvi was late when beeji called them. front wall of her room now looked like a long journey decorated with so many family pics , mostly of her and maavi with notes on them abt the situation at that time. To be short wall paint was barely visible on the wall which manvi decorated. Looking at all of them , jeevika reached the last one in which jeeviika was standing holding finger of baby manvi, the synopsis said

"heard that every mother can be a sis n friend when time demands, but got to feel a di being mother , perfect combo!!!!!! "

Jeevika already had a lump in her throat when manvi's voice startled her

M(teary eyed)- di, do u think beeji is right. Am I being selfish?

The pain & innocence in her mannu's voice broke her in thousand pieces

J(composing herself)- how can u even think that. & neither beeji implied that. Mannu plz u dnt stress urself. I will handle whatever happens.

Hearing that manvi placed her head in her di's lap & felt asleep after deciding that she'll think of  it later.

Jeevika stared at her sleeping angel which reminded her of the promise she made to herself one day. She  wondered how'll they ever leave each other & how'll she keep her promise. The mere memory of manvi tying her hand with herself brought tears in her eyes and she resolved to keep that promise whatever happens.

The tear almost fell off her face but she wiped it at correct time so that it doesn't fall on manvi. Carefully she placed her head on pillow and fell asleep smiling at her innocent face & imaging what she would have done to atul.

 Yes her mannu was again successful to end her di's day with a smile ( though without knowing)

                    *********************************************

That's it mates, plz honestly tel me If I should continue writing.

Btw, @ita 04(sorry,dunno ur name), it was your imagination of dora tying scene of virman which gave me the dupatta idea. & I think its way more better & EPICWink. Thanks@@

 

 



Edited by nobo - 07 August 2012 at 12:25pm

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..Jessie..

IF-Dazzler

..Jessie..

Joined: 18 November 2011

Posts: 2739

Posted: 28 June 2012 at 5:31am | IP Logged
Priya !!!
hugs hugs and hugs!!!

this is first time some one dedicating to me!!!
Tongue
Heart


secondly thanks for reminding the magical behna scene!!!
it was so superb to read all the lines!!!
the song was fab!!!

this was my fav fav line!!!
i guess u ll surely continue pls do continue!!!

Jeevika stared at her sleeping angel which reminded her of the promise she made to herself one day. She  wondered how'll they ever leave each other & how'll she keep her promise. The mere memory of manvi tying her hand with herself brought tears in her eyes and she resolved to keep that promise whatever happens.

The tear almost fell off her face but she wiped it at correct time so that it doesn't fall on manvi. Carefully she placed her head on pillow and fell asleep smiling at her innocent face & imaging what she would have done to atul.

 Yes her mannu was again successful to end her di's day with a smile ( though without knowing)



Edited by jessiekarthik - 28 June 2012 at 7:27am

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nobo..dreamygatz..

Neha.K.

IF-Sizzlerz

Neha.K.

Joined: 16 January 2007

Posts: 15588

Posted: 28 June 2012 at 5:32am | IP Logged
Haila !!!  upar Mera naam dekh ke acha laga...unexpectedLOL...Thanksss for that...m honouredTongue

Ok..now come to ur writing...ufff lemme tell what I LOVEDDD the MOSTTT...

but "marriage" meant leaving her soul, her mannu behind which reminded her of something..

If she got tears in her eyes today, my  birthday will b nothing more than a decreased year from my life..

Why even simple moments are magical when her mannu is with her

"heard that every mother can be a sis n friend when time demands, but got to feel a di being mother , perfect combo!!!!!! SmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmile


These lines were so PURE and REAL... totally made for JeeManClapClapClap

this made me rofl: M- umm no, but lawyers beeji. They will bore di with their talksROFLROFLROFL

and the song selections was tooo PERFECTTT... Everything was so so touchy, defining JeeMan's love for each other...
you have to have to have to continue  this, you write well so what else we need..
Loved it, was amazing, and I cant wait to read the next updateEmbarrassed


Edited by Neha.K. - 28 June 2012 at 7:52am

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nobo

Kanwal_chohan

IF-Rockerz

Kanwal_chohan

Joined: 17 March 2012

Posts: 6118

Posted: 28 June 2012 at 5:36am | IP Logged
Awesome start loved it please continue and do pm me

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

nobo

nobo

IF-Dazzler

nobo

Joined: 14 March 2012

Posts: 4303

Posted: 28 June 2012 at 6:55am | IP Logged
@Jessie , u defo deserve it sis! Love ya@@ btw u didn't told me how was story?

@neha.k , yar I may sound dumb, but I dunno what res mean, lol. But thanks 4 whatever it mean

@Madpaki , thanks mate, if I cont. I 'll surely inform u


Edited by nobo - 28 June 2012 at 7:06am

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..Jessie..

Neha.K.

IF-Sizzlerz

Neha.K.

Joined: 16 January 2007

Posts: 15588

Posted: 28 June 2012 at 7:09am | IP Logged
Priya ji...
res. means RESERVED for comment...
i reserved as i was lil bit busy that time..now m gonna read it and will edit my post then :)

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

..Jessie..

nobo

IF-Dazzler

nobo

Joined: 14 March 2012

Posts: 4303

Posted: 28 June 2012 at 7:23am | IP Logged
Sorry dude, for disturbing u & for asking silly ques. too. Hope u don't mind!!!

Neha.K.

IF-Sizzlerz

Neha.K.

Joined: 16 January 2007

Posts: 15588

Posted: 28 June 2012 at 7:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by nobo

Sorry dude, for disturbing u & for asking silly ques. too. Hope u don't mind!!!


not at all... aisi disrturbance mujhe pasand hai..so take a chill pillLOL
now shh..lemme read...

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