KTLK(contd) deepa i just wanted to say thank you for giving me the courage to try once again.
Over at JS Nidhi was standing near the window looking out into the night, she felt totally lost, she had no idea in which direction her life was heading. Just a little less than a month ago, she had been so ecstatic, baba and db had given their blessings for her marriage to ashutosh. it had been a dream come true. the weddding itself had been beautiful, everything she could have wished for and more, she was marrying the man of her dreams. the hm had been blissful, a little short because ashutosh had responsibilities at the hospital and at home, but everything had been the just the way she had dreamed.
now all of a sudden, everything was uncertain, she was uncertain. the only thing that was a constant, was her love for ashutosh. she could not have asked for a more wonderful husband. he had all the qualities a girl could want in a life partner. she smiled, recalling all the tender, funny, romantic, passionate moments they had shared since their marriage. ashutosh could be a bit stuffy, at times but when coaxed a bit, he was a good sport. she remembered the time on their hm when he had climbed the tree to get those flowers she had wanted, he had muttered to himself all the while climbing up, likening himself to the monkeys, and the funny bit about tree climbing not being a part of the mbbs training. all that still brought a smile to her face. That was also the day she had got lost in the jungle, she recalled being very very scared, and then them finding each other, and then both of them finally becoming one.
But all that somehow, seemed so long ago. Ever since dr.Mallika came back into their lives again, it was as if her happiness seemed to be spiraling downwards. Ashutosh said he understood her, her feelings, her insecurities, but he really didn't. Nidhi did not doubt his love, she could never do that. They had both gone through a lot to be together, so his love was never in doubt. She also loved him more than life itself. for ashutosh, she had let Mallika into her home. She stood by supporting him when Mallika clung to him, occupied all his time and attention, she smiled for him, although inside she died just a little every time Mallika touched ashutosh. Nidhi understood that ashutosh loved mallika as a friend, she understood his need to help her in the current circumstances, and she wanted to help him with that. And she was happy to do this, she did all this because she loved him so much.
She still could not believe what he had said, in a fit of anger, two days ago. Just two days, and her whole world felt like it was falling apart, just two days and it felt like a life time. She knew that he didn't mean it, she also knew that he was regretting his words. She knew he was hurting inside just as much as was. Nidhi knew that ashutosh would rather die than cause her a moments worth of pain, but the words uttered in anger, even though not meant, had sliced her heart into a million pieces. He had been trying to get her alone, to talk to her ever since then, but she had been avoiding him. The call from JS had been a godsend. Just then a voice calling her name pulled her out of her thoughts, a nurse calling her to take a look at one of the patients, who seemed to be having a setback in his condition.
It was early the next morning, when everything finally calmed down. The manager of the home brought her a cup of tea and said, "Dr. Nidhi, why don't you go home now, you have been up all night, taking care of the patients. All of them are resting comfortably now, you also need to rest." nidhi reluctantly agreed, then asked if they had managed to find a replacement doctor, the manager said that they had found someone to come in during the day, but had not been able to get anybody for the night shift. Nidhi immediately volunteered, the manager hesitated, knowing that she was newly married, and he did not want to impose. But nidhi insisted .
She knew it was wrong to hide behind her profession, to Avoid confronting ashutosh, but she could not help it. So far, she hadn't even confronted herself, about the reprecussions of what had happened, about the only thing she did know, was that she would not give up ashutosh. She would fight the devil himself for her husband. But other than that, nothing else was clear.
She reached home, and sat inside the car, unwilling to get out and go inside, but she she knew she had to. Nidhi knew that because of the night shift, she had another days reprieve, but this situation could not go on indefinitely, they would have to talk, they had to reach an understanding, otherwise life would become unbearable.
As soon as she entered the house, she saw that baba, and ashutosh were having breakfast. Baba saw her come in and smiled and said," nidhi beta, we were just talking about you. Beta come and sit down and tell us how was work.". Nidhi touched baba's feet and said good morning and sat down at the table and gave baba a brief overview of the night. She had as yet to even look in Ashutosh's direction. But she found that she still could not face him yet. Baba asked nidhi to have something to eat, but she said," no baba, I had something at JS, but I am really tired, I would like to go get some sleep. I have to be back at work again tonight, and I want to be rest and get my energy back." both baba and ashu looked up startled. " night shift, again tonight, why beta, why are you doing this?" nidhi pretended not to understand, and said " baba they are really short staffed right now, and are having trouble finding a doctor for the night care, so I have volunteered for as long as I am needed." baba said"but nidhi you are needed here also." " I know baba, that is why I volunteered for the nights not days. During the days I will take care of all the housework, I promise you I will not give you any chance to complain. And I will work at nights over there because right now I am needed there also." "beta, I am not talking about housework, HM can handle that. We miss you, we miss talking to you, miss seeing you ." " yes baba that is why I am going to be home during the day, you will see me all day, and we can talk for as long as you want, and I will be their only at nights. No one will even miss me." Baba and ashutosh just looked at each other. And baba said" ok beta what ever makes you happy, is ok with me. Now go sleep for a little while, you look really tired." but nidhi said" yes baba I will go to sleep in a little while, but first I need to see to lunch. If I go to sleep , I might not be able to get up, and I don't feel right about that. I don't want anybody to suffer because of my work hours. And I will also make dinner before I leave for the night."
Before baba or ashutosh could react or say anything, she got up and rushed to the kitchen.
A couple of hours later nidhi was so tired, she could barely walk. She went to their room and lay down on the bed, she didn't even have the energy to change her clothes.
As tired as she was, she could not fall asleep. She knew ashutosh would come. She was right, barely five minutes later ashu had HM kaka wheel him into the room, and stopped near nidhis bed side. HM kaka said "ashutosh beta nidhi beti is sleeping , we should leave, you can talk to her later, when she gets up." ashu told HM to leave him there any way and he promised that he would not disturb nidhi, he just wanted to look at her a while, as he had barely had any time with her for the past 3 days.
Nidhi did not know what to do, she dared not move. She didn't want ashu to know that she was awake. Ashu , in a very quiet voice said, "nidhi...are you awake?" she didn't answer. "nidhi, I am sorry, can you ever forgive me...nidhi I love you, please, say something...nidhi I can't go on like this, I need to here your voice, I need to see your smile, nidhi I need to see your love for me shining through your eyes again, basically, nidhi I need you, I need you like the air I breathe, without you I am nothing. I can't live without you, I am so sorry nidhi, please look at me just once, please..."
Nidhi opened her eyes and looked at him, she was shocked to see tears running down his face. His eyes had such anguish she could not bear it. She could not see her ashutosh in so much pain. She knew that she would bear anything even the pain he had given her, but she needed to make his pain disappear, her own feelings held no importance for her. And suddenly, it was clear, it was so simple, and all the while it was right in front of her, all her confusions vanished. The answer was love. Ashu's love for her, her love for ashutosh, their love, what they had struggled for, that was all that mattered, everything else, all the problems, all the hurts, no one and nothing mattered, as long as they were together. She could and would face everything for their love, and she knew everything would be alright.
She looked at him, tears running down her face, and smiled. Her smile said it all, for ashu the sun had come out, all the darkness was gone,no more words were needed, their eyes spoke and their souls understood. Ashu opened his arms and nidhi flew into them. They held each other, and their serenity was once again restored. Just then Mallika shouted,"ashutosh, ashutosh..." Ashu looked at nidhi, apprehension once again creeping into his eyes, but nidhi smiled, a beautiful smile filled with love and said," go, go to your friend, when you come back, I'll be right here waiting for you..."
Edited by Libra - 10 June 2012 at 3:04am