Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems


Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

The Parody of Presumptions : FF/SS

Khushnav Senior Member

Joined: 02 July 2011
Posts: 816

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 9:14am | IP Logged
Hi all! Ok, I'm new to this forum but not new to writing Wink This attempt is inspired from the classic Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen because it happens to be my FAVOURITE! So, any P&P fan, please excuse me if I hurt your sentiment Smile Let me start with a character sketch to help you enjoy the story better.

Character Sketch:


Bhimnath is the introverted artist type. He looks inside the heart for the answers, creating outer expressions of that self and deciding on who he is by what comes out. He really considers art and science what he thinks as the real qualifier. He is in this to discover himself and not to make money or find fame.


Urmila doesn't trust her fate and wants to make sure her daughters get the best. She is part of a gossip-mongering society  but hates having to be reliant on it. .Her only goal remains to see her girls placed high in the society and she visualises this only through marriage


Suman seems to everyone to be a very calm, peaceful person who can see both sides of an argument and generally likes everyone. She will seem complacent, even lazy to some. Suman presents this image to the world, but just under the surface there's a constant, mild agitation

Suman's flaw is based on the incorrect belief that it's okay to put aside personal goals and priorities in order to have comfort. Working currently as a nurse , she is the subject of attraction for Mohit, the son of the hospital's owner.




Shakti is a genius of sorts, able to focus all energy on a single problem until it's solved. She is perceptive, intelligent, knowledgeable and very skillful in a few areas, confident anything is possible if she can focus all energy and concentrated thought on it. She's an expert in screenplay writing and works with a film production company. She  is more internal, looking inward for answers, always deep in thought and not concerned with appearance - crumpled clothes, old tennis shoes. The interesting aspect of Shakti is that, although she is most comfortable in her own mind working on a problem, she is actually imaginative and charming to others. She has a quiet kind of charm that draws others to her




Pooja is hyperactive, always on the go, running from some inner trouble that she can't face. She is insecure and aware of the insecurity, frustrated by not being able to stop it. She is extremely extroverted, able to start a short conversation with anyone, anywhere. She's always seeking out new and interesting experiences. Hard to nail down exactly, she doesn't want to face the anxiety within and doesn't want anyone else to notice. This causes even more anxiety, making her flighty and frenetic. Pooja can fall in love at the drop of a hat. Then, falls out of love just as quickly. She's always in a relationship.  A student of commerce, she hardly cares about what's inside the class rather than the canteen or pub.



Mohit is a loyal and trustworthy ally. Unable to trust his own ability to make decisions well, he associates with an authority figure , his friend Gaurav, who will supply the answers. He, however, is uncomfortable being dependent at all; it's just worked out that way. He is extroverted, adaptable and outspoken, making him a very good actor. He likes having the lines written for him, likes structure, belonging to a system. He likes a team approach to problem solving. Madly in love with the beautiful nurse Suman, Mohit can be hilariously funny. Humor has always been a way to connect to someone who may have power over him or what he perceives to be the answers.



Gaurav is in control. Purposeful and willful. Protective and honorable. Believing that everybody is counting on his leadership to pull off the plan. At this level, he has immense amounts of self-confidence, strengthened by past performance. Gaurav is a straight shooter, doesn't pull any punches in the quest to get things done. The only flaw is that his willfulness doesn't always take into consideration the other members of the team, steamrollering them, overpowering them, and relying heavily on his ability to control the team. Control is a real issue for him. He expects other people to stand up for themselves. A renowned Cardiologist, Gaurav is uncomfortable with close relationships, but when he meets Mohit's cynic new script writer, things begin to change.




Pranav is a wild, hyperactive person, desperately trying to distract himself from whatever anxiety-provoking thoughts are in his head. He will act out, taking great risks, panicked that these thoughts are finally catching up to him. He is particularly dangerous because he is competitive and not people oriented. Pranav is involved now in illegal and dangerous risk-taking real-estate, ready to keep this thing going at a level that would terrify anyone else. He can't find anyone who will follow him anymore but doesn't care. He's on his own. Still materialistic, he will use the energy and drive to get what he wants from anyone who has it. His best chance comes in the form of a chance meet with Shakti.




Ganga fears being unloved and sees being attractive and very giving as the best way to make herself lovable. She wants to portray an image of being a wonderful person. She is more people-oriented and, as such, needs a personal connection. She is easily swayed by compliments, however insincere, which opens her to those people who will use and discard her. Thanks to an incident in the past, self-esteem is a real issue for her. Studying art, she relies on her brother Gaurav the most.



Tanvi is generally a warm and caring person, looking to earn love by being incredibly giving. She surrounds herself with those who become increasingly needy. She is looking to reach out and help people as a way to get her needs met by others. Tanvi knows Shakti the best and supports her always except for once and marries the guy who chose Shakti.



Mansha is a deceptive and enraged workaholic type, who has successfully fooled everyoneinto thinking she is a successful and wonderful person. However, inside her mind burns a fury of resentment and hatred, feeling that  she has never been given true success. She likes Ganga and is eyeing Gaurav.



I am not known much for my regular updates on other forums as well, so please bear with me if I update late Smile









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Khushnav Senior Member

Joined: 02 July 2011
Posts: 816

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 9:17am | IP Logged
Here's Part 1 Smile

The news travels:

Every time you are with your friends and their families, your mother says and does things that embarrass you in front of others. She doesn't seem aware that she is humiliating you or that others are laughing at her behavior (and perhaps at you because of her). What do you do at the time? What, if anything, do you say to her about her actions afterwards? Perhaps stay mum. After all, it is decreed that every girl needs a man to live a complete life. Not just any man, but a wealthy man. And wealthy men do not cast a second look at girls who curtail their mothers . At least, that is what the societal talks reveal. Mothers are daughters' official matchmakers sent from the Lord who aspires to be a sadist. And fathers? Well they are plainly the gatekeepers who stand by and watch the participants of the match


"That sounds as cynical as …you" her sister said reading her diary , leaning from behind. "And it is the truth." Shakti replied as she looked above to see an inverted face smiling at her "You are snooping in on me." she stated as she closed her personal diary and turned around "What exactly are you doing home so early?" she asked , surprised at seeing her busy bee sister home by 7. "You are not late exactly too , are you?" Suman quipped back and went into the washroom, sending a wink towards Shakti.


It was a habit of the Bhimnath family to see its girls come in everyday at odd times. Suman , the newly appointed nurse at Randhawa Hospital was nicknamed "The Nightingale Ghost" by her sisters due to her late night shifts. Being the eldest of the 4 sisters, she was the apple of her hyperactive mother's eye. Urmila Bhimnath was proud of her beautiful and well groomed daughter and showcased her often as the prize of the family, much to her husband, Professor Bhimnath's frustration.


Directly contrary to her, Shakti scarcely resembled the fair and gentle Suman. Hardly a delicate dove, the family's second daughter reserved her talent for the intellectual quota and side lined the outer impressions. A screenplay writer with Spirit12 Productions, wit and wisdom were the valuables she had inherited from her father. Urmila claimed that she owed more than half of her hypertension to Shakti but that was a comment quite common in their household.


"Once you're done, come down alright? Ma looks like sunshine hit our house alone in the neighbourhood  today" Suman remarked as she left for the dining table. "More likely goldshine. Or men-shine." Shakti muttered to herself as she kept her unfinished diary on the table and followed her sister to the family's meeting place. The dining table - where Urmila Bhimnath would exhibit her latest discoveries of priceless grooms for her daughters.  Of course, their pricelessness was literal. They had to be rich for Mrs Bhimnath's glance at them.

"But you must listen! Bhimji you have to call upon them if you want the prosperity of this family!" Urmila exclaimed hysterically as her husband relaxed after dinner. Bhimnath sighed as his wife tried to explain the necessity of wooing another prospective target/ groom for one of their daughters. He had shared the past 25 years with the same frustratingly caring lady but not once had he understood her tendency to stress over hitching their girls to millionaires. A professor of Journalism at the Bansal College of Arts, he knew in his heart that money did not matter as much as character did. The only person in his house who shared his sentiment was his beloved daughter Shakti. He had concluded that she was the only one among his daughters who had a thinking of her own and a mind to be respected. Suman was similar but she was easily swayed by her loud mother's wishes.

"Are you listening at all?" Urmila's mild scream brought him out of his reverie and he looked up to see his wife looking at him as though the world would drown the next minute. "Yes my dear, I am listening. That's what I do always , don't I? You should maybe get to the point straight away?" he drawled in a low voice and his wife brightened, ignoring the sarcastic tinge to his reply. "So I was saying, the Randhawa family is shifting to Gurgaon next week. And guess where in Gurgaon?" she paused , unable to contain her excitement. When her husband merely raised his eyebrows, she answered herself, " Next street! They are shifting here! Can you believe our good fortune?! The owners of Randhawa Group as our neighbours! My girls are blessed now!" she gushed and flayed her hands in excitement. Bhimnath breathed a sigh "Dear, one, they are shifting to the next STREET which means they aren't technically our neighbours. Two, I don't intend to buy any share in their group and finally, why are our girls blessed if somebody buys a house in our city?". Urmila grunted in irritation as her husband missed her point "You and your overworking brain! I am not talking about your shares and bears! Didn't you know? The eldest son of the family is single! And they are from a respectable family. If God wishes, they might just find a good match for their boy from our house! That is why you must call upon them! " she finished with a flourish. "My dear, they are from a thinking society I perceive. Our girls would do well at a place where brains can be spared, except of course for Shakti. Moreover, we cannot barge in on them and place your wish can we? And I am most certainly not being the messenger to be shot down" her husband replied while retiring to bed. An argument of half an hour ensued which resulted in the usual result. Professor Bhimnath was to be the uninvited guest at the Randhawa's the following week.


Please leave your comments so that I can improve.

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NinaArief Senior Member

Joined: 10 January 2012
Posts: 418

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 11:42am | IP Logged
hey mia ,
i recognised you from the EHMMBH forum. didnt know you wrote here as well, im surprised no one has commented yet!!! because you have given a great start!! besides anything pride and prejudice likes - how can any one not love it.. and you have done a great job , keeping it close to the story, im loving your characters.. will decide my fav sister after you update more..
-Destiny- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 20 November 2009
Posts: 16910

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 11:59am | IP Logged
Mia !!!!!!Hug

  got a notification on my Fb
'Will come back n read

'lekha ishwar
AngelicDesires IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 14 July 2011
Posts: 13924

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
reserved :)
Khushnav Senior Member

Joined: 02 July 2011
Posts: 816

Posted: 28 May 2012 at 5:32am | IP Logged
Nina, thanks a ton sweety! I honestly dont know how close this can be to P&P but will try to keep Jane Austen's outlook in mind too :D

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