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NinaArief

Senior Member

NinaArief

Joined: 10 January 2012

Posts: 418

Posted: 26 May 2012 at 8:12pm | IP Logged

 

Some of us laugh, some of us cry

Some of smoke, some of us lie

 But it's just the way we deal with our lives (star sailor)

Tears strayed away from her eyes onto her face, she wasn't even sure as to why the tears were escaping. After all her life was well spent -at least she liked to think so.

She got up from the hospital bed and walked over to the window, pulling the IV stand along with her. She felt weak in her knees, but the need to see something darker than her current life was immensely strong. Staring out at the stars shining in the sky she felt at one with the universe - as peace of mind engulfed her, she started to cry again. Damn these tears. She was always the sufferer in silence-hated for others to see her weak, a woman with a will that somehow couldn't be broken yet wasn't strong enough.

The door opened and closed. The doctor stepped in. He closed the distance between them, led her by her hand & sat her down. He had known this girl from a previous unauthorized operation, her having convinced him to conduct it on herself.  And he knew the strength that she was capable of. But it still killed him to have to be the one to tell her.

She reined her tears & looked into his eyes - a silent question, an obvious one.

He picked up his courage and said it is brain tumor.

How bad is it?

Pretty bad-you will need a lot of rest later.

She smiled at him - is it always this hard for you?

No, but you are special.

She asked will you do me a favor?

I'd be afraid to say yes- but go on. Shoot.

She didn't smile anymore- clearly she meant business. If there is a chance that I will end up in coma, or weak enough to become a burden on others, then,  don't give me that chance.

It took him a while to realize what she meant - no way I'm trained to save lives, not take them. He knew if she spoke another word he'd say yes to her, she could be very convincing when she wanted to & he was so much inspired by her, he just would lose his reasoning.

She started crying again- it killed some part of him. He put a hesitant hand on her head, begging her to open up to him- to let him erase her pain. She complied. 

It's just that my life is such a waste. In 20 years I've done nothing to be proud of. My parents hate me.

Anger erupted in him flowing out to every inch of his body.

 You of all people cannot say your life has gone to waste. You were a willing organ donor, you are the reason a child got justice. Remember what that kid said in her last moment - the best moments in my life are the ones I have spent with you. I am a better person because of you. You are perhaps the best companion ever ľas  a sister, a friend, a mother -  in every form.  I have not met one person who doesn't like you? Why on earth would your parents hate you?

Another couple of sobs later she answered

I always tried to do the right thing, my parents just never agreed - I wanted to be independent but they kind of reined me - I had to rebel. They got mad at me- I never did anything wrong -I just didn't do it their way. And any other good I might've done was just for myself-to assure myself that I'm a good person,  nothing will ever beat the fact that I didn't make my parents proud. I may have been a very good sister a great friend but the fact that I could never be a good daughter will always remain. Everything I do is for them, but they just think I'm an idiot. My whole life revolves around them. I would die a happy girl if only they accepted me for who I am.

It became his mission now. He left her room almost as lifeless as the first time she convinced him to take her liver to give her dad and not tell anyone. He was never one to go against authority. But she was a good kid- she deserved whatever she wanted. He knew in his heart he would agree to her demand. He called her parents and spoke to them while she cried her heart out in the silence of the night. She had to undergo an operation next morning.  She needed to, but couldn't rest.

She opened her eyes to find herself in the bed, and two pairs of watery eyes staring at her. Guilt, sadness, anger - all over took her, making her suddenly more weaker than vulnerable. Her mom hugged her followed by her dad. He gently chided her for being too mature and not wanting to be his little girl- bahut badi ho gayi ho na. hum se bhi badi ho gayi na.

Three pairs of eyes spoke volumes and one bearhug engulfed a child in her parent's arms - no one wrong, yet everyone sorry.  As she was being wheeled away to the OR she felt for the first time truly happy, her chances were very dim yet her spirits were high- no happiness would ever compare to being accepted by your own parents. Finally her life had been fruitful.

Inside the OR stood a spectator, amused by the happiness of a twenty seven year old girl, by the outcome of his effort, by the power of acceptance and love.

He tried everything but it was her time. The surprised angels prayed for whoever was responsible for her happiness, so immense that she was soaring by faster than them.

A pair of parents wept for time lost, while a doctor took his son out for a game and told him he'd always be proud of him.


i think acceptance esp by parents is a very important factor in every child's life, regardless of how old you are, it hurts most when parents dont understand or accept you.


do comment, sugar free cooment please..

 

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..KaJenDelena..js1234-Shwetasri-luvzindagi.Maggie...Jessie..Sawyer_Tomrev4evaTheBrat

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luvzindagi

Goldie

luvzindagi

Joined: 02 October 2011

Posts: 1269

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 3:40am | IP Logged
I won't say anything much Nina... Just one thing that you made me cry

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NinaArief

..Jessie..

IF-Dazzler

..Jessie..

Joined: 18 November 2011

Posts: 2739

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 5:19am | IP Logged
wow Nina ...absolutely brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!
such an emotional one...
still weeping dear!!!!!!!!
such effective and painful one!!!!!!!!
u brought out the emotions so superbly!!!!!!!!!!!

totally speechless dear!!!!!!!!!!!

awesome work!!!!!!!!!!!!

pls do start a blog!!!!!!!!!!!



i am loving ur writings !!!!!!!!!!!



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NinaArief

Sawyer_Tom

IF-Dazzler

Sawyer_Tom

Joined: 22 March 2012

Posts: 3574

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 6:03am | IP Logged
Extremely well written and quite touching. I just happened to randomly read it. But I'm glad I did. And you're quite right. Acceptance, especially from parents, is quite necessary.

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NinaArief

NinaArief

Senior Member

NinaArief

Joined: 10 January 2012

Posts: 418

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by luvzindagi

I won't say anything much Nina... Just one thing that you made me cry


thank you , i take it that means it was good..

NinaArief

Senior Member

NinaArief

Joined: 10 January 2012

Posts: 418

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 12:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by jessiekarthik

wow Nina ...absolutely brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!
such an emotional one...
still weeping dear!!!!!!!!
such effective and painful one!!!!!!!!
u brought out the emotions so superbly!!!!!!!!!!!

totally speechless dear!!!!!!!!!!!

awesome work!!!!!!!!!!!!

pls do start a blog!!!!!!!!!!!



i am loving ur writings !!!!!!!!!!!






haha blog i barely have time to look at my laptop, managing ablog seems out of question atleast right now.. but thanks loads jessie..

NinaArief

Senior Member

NinaArief

Joined: 10 January 2012

Posts: 418

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 12:42pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sawyer_Tom

Extremely well written and quite touching. I just happened to randomly read it. But I'm glad I did. And you're quite right. Acceptance, especially from parents, is quite necessary.


sawyer tom , thank you very much .. it means a lot to amateurs like myself..

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Sawyer_Tom

Sawyer_Tom

IF-Dazzler

Sawyer_Tom

Joined: 22 March 2012

Posts: 3574

Posted: 27 May 2012 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by NinaArief

Originally posted by Sawyer_Tom

Extremely well written and quite touching. I just happened to randomly read it. But I'm glad I did. And you're quite right. Acceptance, especially from parents, is quite necessary.


sawyer tom , thank you very much .. it means a lot to amateurs like myself..

It's Nidhi, by the way. And you hardly write like an amateur!

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NinaArief

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