She held the paper in her hand and stared at it subconsciously-not reading, not understand, just staring.
"What does this mean?" she asked herself. "A conversation? 'It is but fair'?"
It all seemed so formal. But then, their meeting had been no less formal. Perplexed, she folded the letter, put it back in her diary, turned out the lights and went to bed.
But sleep evaded her. All she thoughts that beige envelope had conjured in her minds had been washed away by his words that her mind still failed to fully process. She had felt positive vibes that day, and even the letter felt auspicious. Her intuitions were usually right and for her to accept that they were that far off the truth was difficult. Yet, she couldn't believe otherwise. Not in this matter. She wanted so badly to believe the feeling of warmth and acceptance was mutual but feared if she led herself to built castles in the air which would potentially result in her falling from their tallest tower.
This sensation was new. Though she had read about it in books, seen it in movies and felt it in their meeting she decided it was best to tread cautiously in unfamiliar territory.
Pacing up and down her room was another situation she found herself in courtesy Shaantanu Khandelwal. Usually, she just pranced around the house. Worrying was something she did often, but not something she did for a long time at a stretch. But this wasn't just any incident or party or mishap she was worrying about. Her reply could well mean a whole new phase in her life would be months away.
Should she reply?
Should she not?
Was ignoring the letter the best choice?
Or was as horrible as a choice could be?
Should she ask what right he implies?
Or does he ask for a right and not demand it?
A thousand questions swimmed in her mind. A thousand queries with no reply. After all, how could she at this stage decide what was right and what was not? She wasn't in India like him. She'd never known what mind he possessed to be able to write this very to-the-point letter.
Did he always talk like this?
Or was this reserved for her alone?
And if it wasn't, what could she possibly do to alter it?
Alter it?-her mind asked-Is his mind so important to you Khanak?
No! Of course it isn't, she curtly talked back to her grey matter.
Truth be told- she wasn't sure. After all, nothing in her life up till a week ago ever suggested she'd be in this position so soon. She had never contemplated signing off, literally signing off, her life to another man's name. That too, Shaantanu Khandelwal. A man she knew, but didn't really know.
Long enough, or do you want longer? I guess I'll have to wait for the comments
Edited by ABlank90 - 22 June 2012 at 10:51am