Senior doctor touching gauri

tinoo thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
In the context of appropriate behaviour at the work place,   I wanted to ask whether it was appropriate for that senior doctor to place his arm on gauri's shoulder.
 
There was nothing sexual about that gesture, he was just being friendly and appreciative of the way she handled the case,  at the same time, I did not think it was appropriate.
 
Ladies, How do you handle such buddy-buddy gestures without being rude or offending the man, especially if he is senior to you.
 

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tanvismile thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
I think a women can understand by the touch in what sense he is touching,dependingly we respond.yesterday i dnt think there was nothing wrong in the behaviour of senior doctor.
tinoo thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
thanks tanvi... yes, a woman can understand, but if the woman says nothing, then the man can misunderstand and think it is okay to proceed further with yet another gesture in the future.
 
I am really asking about my own situation.
 
A person who is slightly more senior than me came up to me and thumped me on the back two weeks ago, and said "good job".   I appreciated he has no other intentions but at the same time, I felt it violated some physical invisible boundaries I set for myself... I dont want to be buddy buddy with someone.  If he felt it was a good job, he can communicate it verbally.
 
If he were my peer, I would have told him politely,... but since he is my senior, I dont want to say anything that causes us to have embarrasment.  
 
It wasnt a big deal, but when i saw the doctor put his arm on gauri's shoulder, It triggered off this incident in my mind.  Just wanted to ask if anyone has any suggestions for handling this.
Luvchoc thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
sometimes a pat on the back is more encouraging than just the appreciative words...There was nothing inappropriate in it.
tanvismile thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Ok i understand if u dnt like it then i guess u can tel ur senior sir abt it politely or Otherwise get used to it ,if he has nt done in a double meaning then i gues its ok.
tinoo thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Luvchoc

sometimes a pat on the back is more encouraging than just the appreciative words...There was nothing inappropriate in it.

 
The inappropriateness is not in the gesture but in how i felt about it.
 
I felt it was inappropriate. I dont want pats on the back from male senior colleagues ðŸ˜†. I also dont need encouragement. I know I did a good job. I appreciate the encouragement but dont want it in the form of a thump thump thump on my back.  That is my personal comfort level. Others may have other levels.
surabhi01 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
senior  hai iska matab yeh nahi ki woh khhuch bhi kar sakta hai  .haath milaane tuk to theek hai .pur is tarah ki battimiji bikul bhi nahi tolerate karoongi .pehle to use accha sunaaongi phir uske baad woh hospital chod doongi
tinoo thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
well not necessarily badtamizi, but just an air of presumptuousness or taking for granted that physical contact is okay. 😡
bluerobin thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
yaar , they must have shown that scene because now we can imagine how jaggu dada would react when he sees anandi with our shiv . He will go mad on even imagining that anandi is going to get married with shiv. 
PreetPari thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
I think if i face such situation and want to discourage the senior guy from any kind of touching in future. I will intentionally change my facial expression or overall body language to convey in a subtle way that i am not comfortable with this. I mean if you want to discourage that behavior show it to them that you are may be doubting their intention or not very comfortable.
I will avoid saying anything about it unless it becomes very obvious that their intentions are not good.