Pavitra Rishta

   

The Raging Storm (ARVI) - Chpt 22 - Page 98 (Page 10)

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Goldie

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Posted: 30 May 2012 at 12:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by abhimg

Oh LAURIE
How u have our hearts captured and us wrapped around ur beautiful conveying of emotion that one can see and feel as u write, it's so damn great!
The pathos that rises for not only Purvi but here for Arjun...you helped him pave a very tough road to redemption in what seemed such a noble way...how gentle and truthful and honorable he was in his candid disclosure to Ovi...and yet he kept Purvi, his Purvi's name in his heart, it was his forever!!
Gosh Laurie, each chapter gets better, like Shyamala said u r like wine, better as it ages...

My heart cries for Arjun and how heart wrenching his side of emotions is too...his looking into her eyes, Purvi crying hugging him, and then letting him go( perhaps she knew deep down if u love something/one, set it free and that is what she did! How well u said of Arjun reading three sets of eyes...loved him calling her HIS FLOWER and telling her she was his life and was hIs every breath and so apparent from your writing how she COMPLETES him and Arjun Purvi ke bina kitna adhoora hai...

The flashbacks and interweaving of time is so seamless and brilliantly presented, absolutely LOVE it, dare I say as much, if not more than my love for ARVI...

Thanks Abhi Big smile That's how I see him in my head Day Dreaming

I needed for them to get past the hurt but in order to do that they needed to move through it first.

I think I set the bar too high for myself Confused What if the other parts aren't as good? Then I'll be just like those PR CVs LOL

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Goldie

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Posted: 30 May 2012 at 12:44pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by aakanksha7

Hey awsm post
do cntinue soon

Thank you Big smile

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Goldie

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Posted: 30 May 2012 at 12:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sashashyam

Dear Laurie,

Just a quick note to thank you very, very much for giving us back our Arjun, the one whom we had grown to love. Now we can fall back on your story when Arjun  Kirloskar, as he is now, gets us down too much.

You have done him justice and then some more. Your description of what he goes thru in those few minutes in his office is incredibly touching and evocative. Marvellous lines:

He wanted to run to her and hold her in his arms so tightly that no one could tell where one began or the other ended. He needed to comfort her and soothe her so badly that his entire body almost declared mutiny against his mind to go to her.

He knew she was hanging on by a thread and he could not let her fall.

This is the original magic of Arjun-Purvi that we had lost  in the last few weeks, a loss that we are all still mourning helplessly. It is so interesting that both of them are saying pretty much the same things as they do on PR:

Purvi:
You string along both of us, play with our emotions and now you want us to both be available to you whenever you need us?"

Arjun: I will set everything right -for everyone. I know you love Ovi like a sister and you can never hurt her or your parents but I PROMISE you that I will find a way out of this that will have the least effect on everyone.

Yetbecause you have so beautifully brought out what Arjun feels, the effect on the readers is completely different. We are no longer   exasperated  or angry at his inaction, or irritated by her tirades, for we see into their hearts. We understand that what happens is the result not of cowardice and pusillanimity on the one hand, or of a mindless yen for self sacrifice on the other. It happens because fate has dealt out such a bad hand to two young people who had the misfortune to fall in love when their other ties are all set to pull them apart.

I loved large chunks of parts  1 and 2  just as much, but you have gone one better here. In fact you are getting better and better all the time, Laurie!  I am now waiting for part 4 (see what I warned you about!). I know that the act of creation can be exhausting, but then I am sure you have a whole book inside your mind all ready and eager to get out. You only have to set it down, not on paper, but on the PC!

To conclude, a couple of points I had wanted to make about part 2. It ia absolutely true that excessive unhappiness makes you feel sick to the pit of your stomach, and so Purvi's retching out of sheer misery was entirely understandable. But then, if she has eaten no lunch, and there is no mention of any dinner either, she would hardly have anything in her stomach to throw up!

But that is a minor point. What I did not like was the idea of Purvi working alone in the office till 11 pm and 1 am. It would not be advisable under any circumstances, even if she is the MD. She should have some company, her personal assistant or other staff. Or else she should go home at a relatively decent hour, say 8 or 9 pm. What was Archana doing, permitting Purvi to keep such excessively late hours?

Warmest congratulations once again and many thanks for taking us along on this wonderful journey to the hearts of Arjun and Purvi as they were, and as they should always be for us.

Shyamala

PS: One very small suggestion, if I may. When you are showing them speaking, you might like to have just the words - there would never be any confusion as to who is speaking - and leave out the explanatory phrases, such as
"
she hissed", "Arjun fired back", "Purvi blasted him", etc. In  fact you yourself have already done this for the 4th and 5th sentences. You will find that it reads better, and you will be saved the trouble  of finding new adjectives and adverbs for the explanatory interjections.


 
Dear Shyamala - Thank you for the felicitations and encouragement. Excellent feedback Smile I will certainly incorporate for the future. I need all the help I can get. LOL

I changed the lunch to dinner so it makes that part a little more plausible and there is a reason Ms. Purvi is working so late all by her lonesome Wink 

Not to worry though - she is safe. Lots of security in this new place Big smile

Like I mentioned in my reply to Abhi - I wonder if I set the bar a little too high - now I'm worried about my ratings ROFL 

I've re-written part four about seven times now trying to get it just right. The thoughts are a bit jumbled at the moment but I will try to have the next installment out soon.

Thank you for your literary patronage. Big smile

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abhimgbee5sashashyam

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Goldie

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Posted: 30 May 2012 at 12:53pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by latika19

I just loved it...its awesome please continue soon...:)

Thanks Latika Big smile

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Goldie

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Posted: 30 May 2012 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ramki1

Hey my dear friend laurie, How are you?... As usual nice scriptClap...I haven't watch last 6 epis..due to heavy work load...today I will watch...before watching the epis I just want to know is there any good news for ARVI?...

HI Ramki Big smile Long time no chat - I've been going by the written updates myself. Life just got super busy for me too all of a sudden. Confused

Not sure about the upcoming ARVI - I think the CVs are trying to give us something spectacular but like me maybe they are not quite sure how to set it up? Just my guess LOL

Hang in there though - nothing lights up the screen (or my romantic heart) like a well delivered ARVI scene. Cool I will wait if I must Big smile

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abhimgramki1bee5

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Goldie

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Posted: 30 May 2012 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by white.band

so guddd...luvvved itClap

Thank you Big smile

abhimg

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abhimg

Joined: 03 May 2012

Posts: 535

Posted: 30 May 2012 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
[/QUOTE]

Thanks Abhi Big smile That's how I see him in my head Day Dreaming

I needed for them to get past the hurt but in order to do that they needed to move through it first.

I think I set the bar too high for myself Confused What if the other parts aren't as good? Then I'll be just like those PR CVs LOL

[/QUOTE]
Come on Laurie, Clapyou have to remember REW- the quote you quoted in this forum- it has stuck to my mind as your image, that is who i see you as- just dishing out happiness and humor, and making lives better one at a time...and not having to make much effort since it is second nature to you...in terms of making a difference...am sure this writing has taken effort and penning down ur thoughts, although i don't  believe too many iterations, again here i think it comes naturally to you so u write like how you picture and how you feel..(no pressure...Wink)
 
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLClapClapClapClap 
Please, how can you even think like that. Writing like this- what appears to me from the outside looking in- this comes to you naturally and that is best. Like Krishna ji said in the Gita that don't worry about the results, so for you...don't worry about the bar being so high...you can never come close to stooping to the level of the PR CVs Wink (no offense meant to the CVs and their creative abilities)...
 
Shyamala pointed out you would be kicked out anyways and cld not be part of the PR CVs given your flair for writing...she really complimented you there...am sure you saw it...
 
We love it and...and are waiting with baited breath for the next part, given NO ARVI at all these daysCry
 
Yup...on second thought... perhaps i should change my character 180 degrees and sadly have to agree with you that if you don't deliver your TRPs may fall too...ROFL


Edited by abhimg - 30 May 2012 at 1:05pm

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aviaanyaAxiomsashashyam

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Goldie

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Posted: 30 May 2012 at 1:04pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by abhimg

"Arjun conjured up Purvi's face in his mind to give him strength. He thought of the time she came to him in the airport and confessed her love for him. That memory zapped him with enough energy to light India entirely for a month"
Clap
Brilliant LAURIE!!!
Very well done...there are so many lines in part 3, that just swept me off my feet as a reader...your writing speaks volumes for itself...better look into patenting it Wink, lest CVs try to copy it and make it their own, since this chapter 1, 2 and 3 are something wonderful and a hit on their own...big fan of ur writing...love it, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this...Star

Oh Abhi - You are good for my ego LOL 

Thank you, my friend, for all your comments and encouragement Hug

Heart

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