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Tired of my friend getting attention. (Page 2)

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bubble_14

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bubble_14

Joined: 29 April 2012

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Posted: 17 July 2012 at 6:47pm | IP Logged
 
@Sindhiyaa.
 
first I want to say thanks for your advice & to all who posted . all of you helped me out.
  I agree with things you have said but there are a few things I should mention, the first day I met her we weren't very close friends , but we would talk just like how anyone would meet someone, nothing very personal. I think it was my fault for not mentioning that earlier LOL sorry about that.
 but kim's attitude started to change after I REALLY got to know her  but I just ignored it, but until her Ego got lifted even more regarding looks she seemed different. she even made a hurtful jab of comments about my body when she knew I was insecure about my body . & she would put me down &  knowing she had a good body she always complimented herself. so I got to know who She REALLY was after a year or so.
 & about those guys YES YOU ARE SO RIGHT =)
 about that guy liking me though ..nope I knew he loved kim as he never even knew who I was or cared I existed .. but if Kim was in question , he would want to know my name.. kind of like you know those types of people who they don't care about you in class  even if you know them like forever , but if a test came & they need answers or a pencil... they automatically remember your name or got it from someone... you know what i'm trying to say Smile
 
 oh & your right I should chill out , & I absolutely Agree confidence is something I don't have & I should start to embrace it.  but also I KNOW she wasn't an actual friend anyways so it's been a while & she is out of my life for good & I'm happy no more problems. so thank you it really helped
 & sorry for the late reply.
 
 


Edited by bubble_14 - 19 July 2012 at 8:58pm

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White-Rose

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Posted: 19 July 2012 at 11:19am | IP Logged
I believe its hard to get true friends. So better dont ignore her.
If u feel she is ur real friend than dont focus on her affairs and attitude.

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-Sanjana-

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Posted: 25 July 2012 at 5:11pm | IP Logged
Firstly, let me say that I know exactly how you feel. I've been in your exact position myself... and that too with my best friend. I guess you could say that I'm a simple girl. I don't care much for looks. I feel that if someone should like me, it should be for my personality, which will not change with age. And though I may not be any Katrina Kaif, popularity and friends wise, I'm doin' ok! :) And looks have never been a part of who became my friend or who I chose as a friend. It's something my mother always says. People can like you for good looks, but in the end, it's always the personality that influences what people think about you. What I mean is, you could be the most beautiful looking person in the world. However, if you have a crappy personality, it's not likely that people are going to be around you for long. As for your friend, it's just a phase dear. And if I am understanding you correctly, your friend is probably not at all confident about herself. How, you ask? People who are confident about their looks do not have the need to boast about them. People who are not confident, such as your friend, make themselves feel better by putting others (like you) down (by constant criticism). All I will say is, you should speak up. If your friend criticizes you, TELL her openly that, "Look, you're my friend and all, but I don't particularly like the comments that you make about me!" If she is truly your friend, she will understand, and stop nagging at you.
Hope I could help!

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tulipbaby53

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Posted: 26 July 2012 at 2:05pm | IP Logged
I've kinda been in your situation, but I didn't have a best friend who was getting the guys. It just seemed like all my friends but me were getting  guys when I was in high school. My parents are strict, so I was not allowed to wear makeup. I just wore a little kajal, and I was not allowed to wear contacts either. I also has braces as well, so I guess you could say I was the stereotypical nerdy girl. Geek LOL Anyways, I used to get upset too because my friends with have boyfriends and dates, but I didn't get anyone because I was also shy and less confident.

My biggest advice to you is to really love and respect yourself. This is the one thing that has helped me the most. Look into the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful too. It's not in a vain sense, it's for confidence building. It really works too because I got asked out on my first date in college because I was more confident and believed in myself. (I was still wearing glasses at that time, but I did not have my braces.) To this day, Nobody can make me feel bad about myself because I don't want them to. You need also do the same thing. Guys like girls with confidence. Oh and always keep smiling and being pleasant! Big smile

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Jaykinv

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Posted: 07 August 2012 at 7:52am | IP Logged
just ignore her. u'r best and enjoy ur life.

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dreamer_dreams

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Posted: 21 August 2012 at 10:37am | IP Logged
hi dear
i cant say that i have been in that exact situation ever
but i have been in a similar one
i didnt have many frnds when i was younger (like 5-7yrs ago). i didnt smile much then and was generally sad. 
i was always frnds wid the most famous girls in my class but i was just a frnd whom they would talk about their problems...wat i mean is i never really hung out with that cool group where there were lots of boys etc at dat time. 
i also used to feel bad as 2 y my famous frnd always get the attention
and this went on for like 2-3 yrs and each time it was a different girl. 
then i transformed myself...it wasnt like that i sat down 1 day and woof... transformation done...no...it was a gradual process and something i didnt even realise until much later
wat happened was that i became more confident
i didnt wait for people to come and talk to me 1st...boys or girls 
(note that i was never interested in a relationship...just being frnds wid people)
if i liked someone and wanted to talk to them i started taking the initiative.
i still have frnds who are much more famous than i am and guys run around them but it doesnt affect me anymore because those same guys are my frnds to and have fun with me 2.

so dont be sad...or atleast pretend to be happy always
smile alot and i mean alot
be confident 
tell people to shut up and get lost when u dont like wat they are saying

90% of the guys in my class are scared to talk to me 1st because they think i will shout at them...i once confronted one such guy and now he is my very gud frnd.

so show ur real self to people but dont be an open book.

watever u do be confident.

also i would like to tell u that i am not at all pretty and not confident about my body
i am not thin rather m quite chubby and m also pretty dark
but i try to ignore and rise above it in front of people and privately i try to regular with my exercise and watch wat i eat.


Edited by dreamer_dreams - 21 August 2012 at 10:40am

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bubble_14

dreamer_dreams

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Posted: 21 August 2012 at 10:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Sanjana-

Firstly, let me say that I know exactly how you feel. I've been in your exact position myself... and that too with my best friend. I guess you could say that I'm a simple girl. I don't care much for looks. I feel that if someone should like me, it should be for my personality, which will not change with age. And though I may not be any Katrina Kaif, popularity and friends wise, I'm doin' ok! :) And looks have never been a part of who became my friend or who I chose as a friend. It's something my mother always says. People can like you for good looks, but in the end, it's always the personality that influences what people think about you. What I mean is, you could be the most beautiful looking person in the world. However, if you have a crappy personality, it's not likely that people are going to be around you for long. As for your friend, it's just a phase dear. And if I am understanding you correctly, your friend is probably not at all confident about herself. How, you ask? People who are confident about their looks do not have the need to boast about them. People who are not confident, such as your friend, make themselves feel better by putting others (like you) down (by constant criticism). All I will say is, you should speak up. If your friend criticizes you, TELL her openly that, "Look, you're my friend and all, but I don't particularly like the comments that you make about me!" If she is truly your friend, she will understand, and stop nagging at you.
Hope I could help!

Clap Clap Clap Clap
very well said

-Mystery-

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-Mystery-

BollyCurry Buzzers

Joined: 31 August 2007

Posts: 20130

Posted: 23 August 2012 at 4:27pm | IP Logged
Moderator's Note:

The topic is primarily being used for spamming at the moment. Hence, I'm closing it.

The topic starter or other LDFR members may PM me to request to have it re-opened in future.

Thanks,
Mahi

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