Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships


Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships
Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships

Tired of my friend getting attention.

bubble_14 Newbie

Joined: 29 April 2012
Posts: 5

Posted: 19 May 2012 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
Hey  i'm new on this site ! but  I have a problem, I kept it bottled up inside since a while.
My one friend let's call her kim. well ever since I have been friends with kim I noticed she always dressed nice, her hair is pretty.  soon we were good friends.. no she is not my Best friend . but I know her since 2 yrs now . anyways long  story short , Guys at my school are crazy for her , but the thing is she is very rude. two guys I know  fell in love with her, yet she still has a boyfriend back at her country where she was born  she is loyal to him.
she always tells me" Oh I'm so tired of desi guys they all like me" " I'm so hot  right ha ha" " if i had light skin I would be ,most perfect girl in the world because I have perfect everything." ( she didn't say all of this at the same time but  you get what I'm tryin to say". she is pretty & that is a good thing  she is confident but  not to over do it( she looks like Sonal chuahan from the first Jannat movie) she is studying to become a doctor .
 so being around "ms. Perfect gets me feeling very lowUnhappy
 I know people tell me ignore her don't be around her , & stop comparing your self to her.
 I don't know how to explain. she insulted a very nice guy . yet he was  not very smart blinded by her fake beauty..  which will not last long anyways  for no one will be how they will look when we all get old age.  but he was still in love with her .
 I remember I had same lunch with them in school & they completley ignored my Existence do you know how bad I felt?  I sat there quietly eating my lunch. & one day I got upset about this ( why should I sit with them when I could sit with people who actually wants to talk with me) at least just ask me "how are you"?
 they sometimes forget i'm there. so when they both saw me upset they asked me what's wrong & I just said nothing I 'm just having a bad day. the thing is I'm not a girl who cries & gets upset fo no reason .. but it happened for the whole 4 years of school. how long should i tolerate it.
 I know I sound immature but more I tried to get away from it  i get pulled back in.
 let me describe my self .. people say "kim" & I look like sisters but obviously she is the Prettier one as some one unknowingly compared me to her.  some times people think I look like Katrina kaif others think i look like anushka Sharma. 
i'm pretty too  but I chose not to dress with tight clothes my parents won't like that but I feel if a guy should like me he would like me for my beauty  of my face, my real beauty  with out make up . I don't wear make up because I support natural beauty. I  mostly put my hair in pony tail but I think I look good with it. I dress modest  because it's part of my religion. so I respect that. I talk nice & decent & I know I will make a good wife/ girlfriend & i'm very loyal . but not even one desi guy looks at me .. yes I do think they are Immature but it suprised me not even one admiring glance . I'm very nice too. & take education seriously , i'm shy & I  have respect  for everyone. I never flirt with boys.  but i'm always there for anyone who needs a shoulder to cry on  .  I'm the  "goody girl"  you can say & proud on thatBig smile
 kim some times critize me  she said I have a big behind , & my hair is oily but it's not it's just silky . 
 that same guy  who fell in love with kim talked to me one day at school I was waiting in the school lunch room all by myself & he saw me .. he is just one of those hi how was your day kind of friend not.. anyone close to me.  he was trying to flirt  with me as he thought kim will get jealous but I didn't want to be part of this because I'm already in love with some one who I'm with for very long time.  & I just ignore his flirtatious words & continued reading my book. then he changed the topic & was talking about the book I was reading .& for a while I was talking with him no harm .. until it was time to go to class then he siad " have you seen Kim around"? WHAT? that was the word that was coming from my mind .. but i just said no & walked away.
another time another guy did a similiar thing . I'm so tired of this immaturity. that  other guy said to his friend " there is no good looking desi girls besides kim" I felt like turning around & slapping that guy. maybe there is no good desi guys around in my school ( though I know  mostly there is decent guys too ,just not in my school) 
I feel like taking a mega phone  to shout to all those stupid guys " that there are decent pretty girls who carry thmeselves well & won't start useless drama & be there for them if only they weren't blind & immature.
  I can say only one thing I'm happy as I found my true love though he is far away now  i still contact him  through email.( i have met him & we both fall in love!!! Embarrassed)
 but I 'm happy I won't be seeing her anymore & her drama & her love triangle/ love square. I'm happy with on thought that  she is goodlooking now but when it all fades all she would have is attitude then who will want  her.. while I would still have personality & people would like to be with me & enjoy my company.
 so sorry everyone if I sound silly & please Excuse the spelling mistakes I was typing fast.
 so tell me  what should I do now any advice & have you all ever been in a similair situation?

Edited by bubble_14 - 31 May 2012 at 9:58am

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-Anilaa- IF-Sizzlerz

Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai Banner Contest Winner
Joined: 01 May 2009
Posts: 10747

Posted: 01 June 2012 at 3:07pm | IP Logged
Heey, I have not been in a similar but I have been in the exact same situation as you.. I know how it feels, reading this made me think am reading my own thoughts openly.. 

Before I used to feel so uncomfortable when loads of random guys will just start a convo with my friend nd just imagine am not there.. It felt soo awkward.. but to be honest those type of guys only go for easy girls.. We should be happy to think that we are special and we deserve real guys, guys who will not only look out the outside beauty, but they will also look at the inner-beauty.. You should always think that guys like that are useless and mean nothing to us. 

As far as your friend is considered I think you should just stay away from her, I know its hard, but you should spend more time with people who care about your feelings, and understands you, if you spend more time with other people, your friend will eventually realise that you dnt want to hang around with her any more.
So you should make new friends who you know you can connect to more.. Not people who are self-centred.

Hoped I helped.. take care :) 

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-Sara. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 11 February 2007
Posts: 10295

Posted: 08 June 2012 at 6:15am | IP Logged
I would say, you should've ignored her on the first day you saw her.

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Jugnu_244 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 02 November 2006
Posts: 6922

Posted: 09 June 2012 at 1:35am | IP Logged
just ignore her. u'r best and enjoy ur life. u'r simple and straightforward and thats the best in u.:) take care;)

Edited by Jugnu_244 - 09 June 2012 at 4:27am

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riteshnarula Groupbie

Joined: 20 August 2011
Posts: 76

Posted: 25 June 2012 at 3:33am | IP Logged
Ignore this is only fun.
roseheart11 Senior Member

Joined: 05 June 2012
Posts: 241

Posted: 06 July 2012 at 4:11am | IP Logged
i too have been in similar situation when i was ignored among many ...that was worst phase of my life but nw i am happy...we cannot do anything in such situations...just getting out frm there and not attending such meetings is better...shld ignore such kind of people who see nothing behind outer beauty...

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iwantitall IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 February 2009
Posts: 17982

Posted: 09 July 2012 at 6:20am | IP Logged
Okay, see. The first very day you made her your friend, you liked kim. And i suppose unless shes done something knowingly against you, you shouldn't ignore her. Just because she has attitude shouldn't make you chuck her down the drain. She dint seem too unpleasant when you became friends right? Or you wouldn't have become friends at all! So it shouldn't be a problem now. 

Now the guys. Tell them straight on their faces, If they want to be your friend they can go ahead and do that. But if they want to befriend a friend of kim's they need to look around more, because you arent going to help them play their little silly game. 

Second tell me, how can you be so sure that first guy was talking to you only for kim? He himself asked you where kim was right? So obviously kim wasn't around, hence no one to become jealous. Then obviously he was talking to you out of any reason but kim, he probably found you attractive, but he probably thought you were not interested in talking to him, so he left. Possible right?

And last, why would you compare yourself with kim? Shes your friend. Keep it to that. Every ones perfect in their own way. And comparing yourself isnt going to help in anyway! You have all the ingredients, you just need to know how to use it. The first basic thing you need is confidence, no matter how you are, if you are confident and you carry yourself with dignity, people will notice. And they'll want you around more often than what you can obviously hope. 

So just chill. Don't get rude to kim. Be nice. And add some confidence. 

That should do the trick. 

{Did i make sense? Smile}

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bubble_14 Newbie

Joined: 29 April 2012
Posts: 5

Posted: 17 July 2012 at 6:47pm | IP Logged
first I want to say thanks for your advice & to all who posted . all of you helped me out.
  I agree with things you have said but there are a few things I should mention, the first day I met her we weren't very close friends , but we would talk just like how anyone would meet someone, nothing very personal. I think it was my fault for not mentioning that earlier LOL sorry about that.
 but kim's attitude started to change after I REALLY got to know her  but I just ignored it, but until her Ego got lifted even more regarding looks she seemed different. she even made a hurtful jab of comments about my body when she knew I was insecure about my body . & she would put me down &  knowing she had a good body she always complimented herself. so I got to know who She REALLY was after a year or so.
 & about those guys YES YOU ARE SO RIGHT =)
 about that guy liking me though ..nope I knew he loved kim as he never even knew who I was or cared I existed .. but if Kim was in question , he would want to know my name.. kind of like you know those types of people who they don't care about you in class  even if you know them like forever , but if a test came & they need answers or a pencil... they automatically remember your name or got it from someone... you know what i'm trying to say Smile
 oh & your right I should chill out , & I absolutely Agree confidence is something I don't have & I should start to embrace it.  but also I KNOW she wasn't an actual friend anyways so it's been a while & she is out of my life for good & I'm happy no more problems. so thank you it really helped
 & sorry for the late reply.

Edited by bubble_14 - 19 July 2012 at 8:58pm

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