Joined: 25 July 2011
I know I know I haven't updated my work. But I wanted to write something post marriage (the real thing, not the fake crap they still show). So here you go.
Fair warning. This is not for the faint hearted. You have been warned.
"Kushi ji, Please try to take things a bit easy. It's not good for you to be stressing yourself like this".
"Common di we need to get this last bit of flower decorations arranged near the poolside and we'll be done! Besides I would like to help as mush as possible especially because this havan is very important to you and Arnav ji"
"I know. But you have been working all of last week and this week for this havan. There's enough people to help get everything done. Please Kushi ji you have to be especially careful during the first trimester"
"Di, if we don't get these done by noon today, we'll never get ready for the havan tonight. Besides it's not like pregnant women have to sit on bed doing nothing' we have to be active. Are you suggesting that I sleep all day?". Kushi said with a smile as she sat down with a plop besides Payal.
"Kushi we are not telling you to sleep all day you silly girl. We are asking not to strain yourself. Running up and down the stairs, lifting those heavy boxes when Arnav ji and Akash were both standing right next to you. What were you thinking? They could have lifted them for you"
"I'm perfectly capable of lifting boxes on my own. Thank you very much jiji" said Kushi rolling her eyes.
"Chotte's going to blow up a blood vessel if he sees you working one more time. You know how paranoid he is"
"Arnav ji's paranoid about everything when it comes to Kushi" Payal pinched Kushi with a grin.
"Haha funny. Don't let me get started on you and Aka.."
Kushi's retort was cut short as Naani's voice floated from her room.
"I'll go and see" said Kushi as she jumped up from the living room sofa and rushed upstairs to naani's room before anyone could stop her.
"Ye Kushi bi na'" Payal shook her head to Anjali.
"I wish we didn't give all the servants a break this week. It was thoughtless of me. I should have waited till the havan was over" Anjali's eyes followed Kushi worriedly up the stairs.
"It's alright Di. We are all here to help with the preparations and we have been working hard. It's you and Arnav ji's parent's death anniversary. It's best that everything's done by family members. Kushi was saying the same thing last night. We are happy to work all day long to make sure everything goes perfect tonight".
"Yes but not on the cost of Kushi ji's health"
Kushi was on the landing of the flight of stairs when an unusual punch of pain from the back of her spine throbbed through her body. A light unsettling feeling cemented in her as she took the next flight more slowly. A chill was penetrating her body. She decided to ignore the second punch of pain as she walked with less spring in her step towards Naani ji's bedroom.
"Arre Kushi Bittiya, why did you come all the way? I was calling Anjali Bittiya or Payal Bitiya'"
"That's alright Naani ji" Kushi smiled cheerfully. "Is there anything you needed to be done?"
"I just wanted one of them to check on all the things needed for the havan tonight".
"No problem naani ji we have already double and triple checked on all things needed. Everything is ready".
"Ah that's very good of you' now" naani paused as she surveyed Kushi closely. "You look tired Bitiya. Go and have a nap if you are feeling tired. You have been working hard for the past few days. Did you have lunch?"
In a bit Naani ji'I was just about to.." her voice was drowned by the shrill ring of the telephone.
"Kushi bitiya let someone else do work for a change" said naani ji as Kushi turned to walk out of the room to pick up the phone.
"I.. I know naani ji. I'm a bit fidgety. It's just that I want this havan to be perfect tonight..because this is an important day for all of you and'"
"Bitiya" Naani ji walked up to her and took Kushi's hands in hers. "You are such a good Bahu and we are very fortunate to have you in this family but don't forget that you are going to be a mother soon and it's essential that you take good care of your self. Your health and your baby's health come before everything else"
Kushi nodded mutely as she trained her eyes on the soles of naani ji's feet. She had been feeling a tad bit tired from all the work she had been doing for the past few days. But she wanted everything to be perfect, for the sake of Arnav ji, for the sake of Anjali di and the beloved family. Arnav had been constantly putting his foot down each time he had seen her running around with errands but he had been very busy; more than busy lately with the new take over of a company which was to be hugely profitable to AR and had not been around much to see her working.
She was especially advised to eat and rest well. Doctors had also advised her to look into her dietary schedules due to her delicate figure.
Ever since then her husband had been fussing whenever possible (although he had been significantly held back on this particular front with his ever increasing workload). One would think she was terminally ill and not just pregnant, judging by the constant reminders of food, vitamin pills and other what-nots.
Just last night he had drawn her to him and kissing her softly on the cheek had almost pleaded with her to take more care of herself. His deep brown eyes had searched her face in concern and Kushi was hit with a bout of guilt.
"Kushi, do you know how happy you have made me? Ever since the day you entered my life I was a changed man. You have no idea how much you mean to me. If something happens to you because of this pregnancy I will never forgive myself"
She had in return hugged him tight and reassured him she would take plenty of rest and proceeded to break the promise the very next day by working for the havan.
She hated disobeying her husband, he was her world. For her, all things and everything revolved around him. "Last day. Todays's last day and I swear I will not budge an inch from my room after today" Kushi resolved to herself with conviction.
Her inner monologue was rudely interrupted by a loud exclamation from downstairs. She exchanged a worried glance with naani ji as they both hurried down stairs to find a distressed looking Anjali Di being consoled by an even more distressed looking payal.
"Naani! I just received a call from Subhani maami. Vipraksh maama had passed away" Anjali burst into tears.
"Oh my goodness! How did this happen?" cried naani ji.
"Cardiac failure. Sudden attack. There wasn't any time. Oh naani! This is terrible news. What should we do?" whispered a grief stricken Anjali.
"We have to inform Chotte and Akaash. And we must go to Subhani. She needs us the most right now"
"I, I'll inform them. Someone must stay here. I'll stay at home. You all go and I'll join you later" Kushi said.
"Teek hai. We must leave right now. Kushi bittiya look after yourself. If something happens let one of us know immediately"
"Haan naani ji. Don't worry about me. I'll manage everything" She gulped. Her pain in the back had increased in it's intervals. The sudden stress of the news, Kushi thought.
A little while later after she watched the others leave, Kushi hurried to the phone to dial AR to inform her husband about the ill news. But before she could reach for the receiver, it rang of it's own.
Kushi picked it up wondering what other horrific news that might be waiting on the other end.
"Hello Kushi madam? This is Aman calling and it's very urgent"
"yes Aman what is the matter" She could feel thin beads of sweat appearing on her forehead. She ignored the clammy feeling around the region of her abdomen as she gripped the receiver nervously. Hai devi mayyaiya what was the matter now?
"Maam, Sir had left a very important file and I think it's back at your home. He's at a critical meeting now with the CEOs of the merger company and It's essential that we have that file with us. Sir wanted to call you but the discussions are at a critical stage and we would suffer millions of dollars in loss if we wouldn't secure this merger. Maam, is there a possibility you can bring this document file to AR right now?"
"Ofcourse Aman tell me what this file looks like and I'll reach there as soon as possible"
Aproximatly 30 seconds later Kushi rushed upstairs to her and Arnav's bedroom and hurried across the room to Arnav's working desk.
"Where is this file, where is this file" muttered Kushi as she rummaged around in desperation.
She suddenly gasped and straitened up. Not because she fund the file but because the pain in her back had intensified. She took a deep breath.
"Come Kushi. Don't be a wimp. Arnav ji needs the file. Don't let a little pain mar you down. Search, search. Hai devi mayyia help me" she cried.
Right on cue she spotted the dratted file on their bedside table.
"There it is!" Kushi pounced on it triumphantly. "Ok I have to get this to AR as soon as possible"
She hurried downstairs to realise all the household vehicles are out.
"Oh well I'll just have to use an auto"
Kushi walked out into the sweltering heat and looked about. "where are these dratted auto's when you need them" she muttered to herself as she looked about. "Why is Devi mayyia hell bent on making it tough for me today"
At the end of 15 miniutes Kushi was in tears. Her back was still aching. She was sweating profusely, the putrid fumes of Delhi traffic wafted into her lungs and her feet ached. More than anything she was desperate to get to AR. She had walked around a block to find a rickshaw but to no avail.
She was reminded that she was standing outside a bus stand when a bus came honking to a stop beside her. "Hey I can take a bus. Why didn't I think of that before?" mentally chiding herself at her stupidity she looked at the sign outside the bus honking near her.
"well look at that! Devi mayya isn't being that difficult after all! This bus would take me right near AR. Wait wait! Im getting in!" Kushi yelled with all her might as she ran towards the bus and got in.
The bus was crowded and she found no seat to sit down for the rest of the journey. By the time she stood outside AR doors she thought she was going to faint with tiredness. "I made it!" Kushi cried jubilantly as she hurried inside the office.
"Kushi madam! You look very pale. Do you need a glass of water?" A helpful looking girl working at the exact spot Kushi had worked more than a year before offered. "No no I..I'm fine. Thank you. I need to find my husband"
Kushi quickly walked upstairs to find Arnav's cabin empty as she expected. "He must be in the conference room. Wonder where Aman ji is"
Just then Aman walked in with a relieved smile on his face. "Kushi madam. You are just in time!"
"here you go Aman ji. I hope this is the file you wanted me to bring"
"Yes yes this is the one! Thank you very much! You just helped AR gain access to a million dollar worthy deal. Our global expansion will be even more fixated" he cried as he snatched it from her hand and disappeared into conference room without further conversation.
She smiled faintly to herself. "Aman ji sounded like an over excited Easter bunny!" But next moment her smile vanished as it was replaced by a painful grimace. Kushi clutched at the desk and reached for the glass of water. She never made it as she felt her legs give away and she sat down heavily on the ground. Panting she tried to get up but her knees refused to budge and next thing she knew the brown desk legs infront of her began to swim around her'.
Arnav walked in to his office half an hour later, elated with the proceedings of the meeting. He knew a good deal when he saw one and this would be phenomenal for the growth of AR. Aman had informed him earlier that Kushi brought the much needed file he left at home. He wanted to run towards her and give her a bear hug for helping him today. She probably had no idea of the enormity of what she helped on.
Kushi; his little wife. His little tigress with her never ending spirit and unquenchable energy' he thought fondly. She was the only person he wanted to see right now after this enormous success of the company. After everything they had gone through together, she was the only person he wanted to share in his success with.
"He entered the cabin to find it empty. That's strange. Aman said he left her here" Arnav thought feeling a pang of disappointed. Maybe she's waiting outside. He must find her.
And then he stopped short.
He was struck dumb for a moment, his whole countenance spinning in a wild over drive as he saw the sight in front of her. He had found her alright.
She was lying in a dead faint on the ground beside his desk surrounded by a puddle of blood, the redness giving stark contrast on the white tiled floor.
He felt his knees giving away as he clutched the desk for support. Words failed him as he stared at her limp form.
"Kushi" he whispered, his world slipping away from him.
"How are you feeling now Mrs Raizada" An unfamiliar voice greeted her.
She opened her eyes slowly, the bright fluorescent light hurting her clamped pupils. She felt clammy, light headed and oddly empty. What happened to her?
"What happened? Why am I in a hospital?" her voice came as a croak, weak and unyielding to her commands.
"How do you feel Mrs Raizada? Any light headedness or feelings of nausea?"
"N..no Im feeling fine. A little fatigued but I feel f..fine. What happened to me?" A sudden fear gripped her body. The emptiness inside her was growing as she spoke.
"What happened to me?" she repeated sharply, her voice camouflaging the terror that engulfed her. Some how she knew it before the doctor answered.
"I'm sorry Mrs Raizada. You suffered a miscarriage. These things are common in the first few months of pregnancy. Don't loose heart. Your husband is outside, waiting desperately to know if you had gained consciousness. I would like to speak to both of you."
Kushi nodded blankly. Her mind has gone into an icy numbness. She felt as if she was falling into a dark abyss. From a very far away place she felt tears smarting in the corners of her eyes. But she held them, refusing to let them spill from her eyes.
She wanted to see him first. Even before she let the agony wash over her, she wanted to see him.
Arnav walked inside the room to see his wife propped on a mountain of pillows. She looked fine although her glazed eyes that looked straight ahead into the wall told him a different story.
She slowly turned her head to stare at him. Her face was poised; there was no trace of tears. She held his gaze steadfast for several seconds before her countenance contorted.
He was instantly sitting by her side engulfing her into his arms; burying his head in her hair, both gaining comfort from each other.
"We lost our baby, Arnav" Kushi whispered brokenly.
Ok I know I know I'm a horrible person. But these things happen and miscarriages don't occur just because you suffer a fall from the top of the stairs like they show on serials and movies.
This is a one shot but will continue on to a second part on how both of them deal with the ordeal together and how they support each other during the difficult time.. that is if you guys really want me to.
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