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How often does this happen?

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asha222

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asha222

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Posted: 09 May 2012 at 7:57am | IP Logged
I just wanted to ask how often do these situations happen in India? Being harassed and followed by guys?

I don't live in India so i wouldn't know. Is it that unsafe for a girl to even go to the mall or wait for her bus and being harassed by the same person constantly?

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NimbuMirchi

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Posted: 09 May 2012 at 8:21am | IP Logged
I have Grown Up Living in India... was there till I was 22 but I hardly had such incidents Smile
 
But in this situation... Somewhere Raavi is responsible too... Approve  When the Guy started following her... Staring at her... She didn't ignore... She was staring back at him..Confused She never denied or gave negative signals... Rather Raavi is giving Positive Signals by Glaring at him... Taking Rose and all... Ouch 
 
Boy/Guy, they stare/look at girl... It's common... First thing you do is... Never look back at them... Guy will get the point that She is not interested... It depends on Girls too... if you are strong and Confident enough... You can politely but with Firmness say... I am not interested... then also Guy Follows... then You firmly/Strongly say, Don't do this otherwise I will take some serious ActionsApprove No Guy will harass you at Bus Station... Public will beat him up... Ermm

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ASMI98

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Posted: 09 May 2012 at 8:36am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sachi16

I have Grown Up Living in India... was there till I was 22 but I hardly had such incidents Smile
 
But in this situation... Somewhere Raavi is responsible too... Approve  When the Guy started following her... Staring at her... She didn't ignore... She was staring back at him..Confused She never denied or gave negative signals... Rather Raavi is giving Positive Signals by Glaring at him... Taking Rose and all... Ouch 
 
Boy/Guy, they stare/look at girl... It's common... First thing you do is... Never look back at them... Guy will get the point that She is not interested... It depends on Girls too... if you are strong and Confident enough... You can politely but with Firmness say... I am not interested... then also Guy Follows... then You firmly/Strongly say, Don't do this otherwise I will take some serious ActionsApprove No Guy will harass you at Bus Station... Public will beat him up... Ermm
true even ravi is responsible...taking the rose was wrong...she could have just thrown it

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asha222

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Posted: 09 May 2012 at 8:45am | IP Logged
I think she was just so scared that she didn't know what to do. Like she just froze. Especially that something like this never happened to her before.

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Posted: 09 May 2012 at 9:25am | IP Logged
It may not be a frequent case...bt these stalking does happen...though i have nt witnessed in my locality...i read it a lot in newspaper..

the reason is definitely the girl involved..only when the girl looks at the boy...sees if the boy is looking at her..shows fear...the boy gets the courage to move on...


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Posted: 09 May 2012 at 10:19am | IP Logged
Originally posted by asha222

I just wanted to ask how often do these situations happen in India? Being harassed and followed by guys?

I don't live in India so i wouldn't know. Is it that unsafe for a girl to even go to the mall or wait for her bus and being harassed by the same person constantly?


Personally  there r too many  factors @ work in situations like this .

1)  Girls do give mix signals .
2)  Guys r creepy .
3)   Overprotective parents & Girls rebal .

      Personally  I had at least 2 - 3 new guys following me every week . I took care of my business doesn't mean I was not scared . Yes , I wondered what in me that those idiots decided to follow me . I never had to slap any one . Just once cauz principle saw the guy following me . I don't take pride in it . Nor my parents that see how popular our girl is .

     I have seen parents - Family members take pride in knowing that boys follow their daughter ... I find this creepy .

     boys- Girls r at some what @ 15  - 16 starts to realize that something is changed in them . It is a sensitive period for both parents & kids . They r unaware of their situation & turn to friends while I think parents should laid out truth before their kids , have honest talk .

    Boys - Girls can b friends . I grew up  in conservative family but My parents told me clearnly as long as they know where I m & with whom ... They r cool with my being friends with Boys - Girls . I honored their wish.  These things r common but It also depends on how parents & kids make BIG deal of it .

    No need to take pride or offence in those things . have honest talk . Tell the guy that U don't like all these . Simple NO would do . Slapping someone is not a good option . They might take offence & It bcomes BIG issue ...

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Posted: 10 May 2012 at 2:31pm | IP Logged
Guys following girls home and stalking is a very common phenomenon - esp. in Northern Indian states, but it happens all across. Every day the papers are full of stories of girls having had acid sprayed on their faces, being killed or molested just because they spurned the advances of these road side romeos. 

For members of the forum who've lived in India and never faced such situations, I can only say that we must all thank the lucky stars that you grew up in a safe environment.

Most often girls do not give mixed signals nor do they invite or appreciate such attention. Stalking is not limited to any particular section of society, or community. Nor is it limited to girls of a particular age group.

@Shwets - It is wrong to say that girls invite stalking by showing fear and thus encouraging the stalkers. Since you have not had first-hand or even second-hand experience of it, maybe you do not realize the dynamics of how this happens.

@Netri - I hope you do realize that you are inviting trouble esp. if some random guys know of where you live, work, study and your routine. Please be very careful. Please do not initiate any conversation with them either to encourage or discourage them.

Yes I've seen such situations with my friends and cousins and been at receiving end too. Every situation requires deft handling and no two stalkers can be given the same blanket treatment to discourage them.

My only advice is - As soon as you notice any unwarranted attention, please take adults/others in your family, workplace or school into confidence. Do not be scared of sharing your concern. So long as the stalker is actively after you - do not under any circumstances move around alone. Do notify the authorities - either a PS or a Women's cell if the stalker becomes menacing or threatening. Do NOT under any circumstance engage to handle the situation all alone.

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Posted: 10 May 2012 at 2:34pm | IP Logged
@Sachi - Do not depend on the public to help you if you are the victim of a stalker. One of my very close friends was molested in a DTC bus in broad daylight. The bus was so crowded that there was no place to stand, she kept crying for help but even the women who were traveling with her and witnessed the entire episode chose to ignore her pleas for help - This was 1993. If you think that the situation has changed in the last 20 years, all I can say is that yes it has changed for the worse.

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