Joined: 06 June 2008
Its not like I was not ready for all this, I was I always was. Amma had hallways told me to be ready for all the hurdles I will have to face. She always used to say a girl always faces problems after marriage especially in our society no matter how loving her husband is. How loving her husband is'that is if her husband loved her at all. What if he hated her? And wouldn't even spare a look filled with assurance? Not even once.
Im not afraid or unready for the obstacles its just that a person, a living breathing human has a tolerance capacity, there is only so much one can bear and it was about time my tolerance was giving up and the stamina was on the verge of shattering.
You have some hope when you know your other half is there to assure you to protect you to love you. But what if one doesn't even have that hope left? And on top of that a third wheel appears to make things worse? Is it really that big of a sin to be a girl ? and suffer everything despite knowing you are the innocent one? Is it really that big of a crime?
Its one thing being disliked by some one and another being hated by someone after you had yourself convinced that that person loved you. Second option is far more painful than the first one. When the so called love transforms into hate its cruel its horrendous and murders you not once but every single day. Every single moment it tortures your soul.
It was about time when Khushi had it! She had had enough of Shyam's cracked values and Arnav's ruthlessness. Just when Arnav pierced her with his cold behavior, Shyam would show his lowness. Just when Shyam bothered her, she would cry even more thinking she couldn't go to her husband for the aid like every other girl who would.
Amma said a girl has to compromise a lot, she has to sacrifice a lot, and then and only then she can get a peaceful lifestyle where everyone is happy with her and shower their love upon her. But me? Is this is a mere sacrifice? My whole world has been changed upside down and I don't even know why. Is this not a murder of my soul in the name of sacrifice? Is this not a place worse than hell in the name of home?
Tears were rolling down her pale cheeks as she cursed her fate and looked towards the sky. What a girl normally had to sacrifice and compromise was nothing compared to her miseries. She was forced into marrying a man who she thought loved her, which was enough to kill her, then the endless ruthlessness. If this wasn't enough must she add Shyam to the list too.
Was she innocent? Am I blaming her for no reason?
The words resonated around him repeatedly as he placed his back against the leather chair holding his pen near his face drowned in deep thoughts.
But then what had happened at the terrace? That doesn't support her innocence'why things can't be more clear? Why everything just can't go as its supposed to be. Hasn't my Di and I have suffered enough in life to be cheated again. Is it really that necessary to bring all the tragic memories again? We became orphaned wasn't that enough and now this?
He was confused as one moment on the terrace said something else and all the other moments testified against his assumption. He was getting really frustrated now, if Khushi loved him then why doesn't she try to talk to Shyam even though they live under the same roof. Was it another plan created by them to get him and his Di out of the way in the long term? Was Khushi really that cunning?
With that he decided he would find out the truth and set everything straight and send that snake behind the bars.
He needed to know the punishment Khushi is serving, if she even deserves it in the first place. He wanted to know if he was doing justice.
Chote you always realize your mistake when it's too late, and after you make others suffer. You say you use your brain but do you really? Its not the brain meri jaan, its your peaked ego which you need to put under control' and try to make decisions when you are cooled down it will help you a lot trust me you wont mess up as much as you do now.
Di's words did make sense, I never realize my mistake when I should and when I do its just too late. Maybe she's right after all. She makes all her decisions when she's calm and she never makes a mess, maybe I should adapt her strategies and fix this messed up life I have achieved.
With that Arnav Sing Raizada left for Shantivan, with a cooled mind but still not cleared on Khushi's side completely. He still held a grudge like always. Now the ten million dollar ego wouldn't just die in a day would it?
"Di?..nani?what happened?" he asked as he entered Shantivan feeling the tensed atmosphere upon him. It was 11 pm and everyone was standing in the sitting area, Nani and Anjali holding on to each other, while Payal and Mamiji were dialing numbers repeatedly.
Normally at this time everyone would be done with their day preparing to go to bed while Khushi and Payal cleaned up the kitchen and small unfinished things here and there.
But today everything was just too intense and he had a feeling something was coming at him which he wasn't ready for.
"Chote'who..Khushi ji.." Anjali stammered. "Khushi what?" Arnav was curious and knew it would take his delicate Di to make a few attempts before exposing something this intense to him. "woh..your Jeejaji went upstairs to give Khushiji her sari as she forgot it in my room'and then we heard a noise of a glass breaking'and'and..then she ran out the door"
"we tried to call her but she didn't pick her phone and she didn't even listen to us when we tried to stop her" added Nani.
After they had given their justifications on how they couldn't stop her, as she just ran away in a jiffy and how none of the cars were available when they had actually needed them
Anjali knew what else he wanted to know after seeing his eyes filled with sadness and worry "and your Jeejaji left in distress too'and none of us know what had happened in the room"
It was hard work for Arnav to calm himself down, and once he had achieved it after all that over thinking at work he couldn't believe another drama was waiting for his arrival.
"don't worry Di ill go look for them" what he meant was ill go look for her and stop wasting your tears for that filthy animal. But for his Di's sake he had to lie, like always.
As he drove at the speed of a fire fly his mind yet again started to make assumptions and he though maybe things are unfolding now.
Why must this happen to me? Didn't you give me enough troubles and now the whole family probably doubts me too. what did I even do to deserve this? I would love to tell it to my husband or more like my owner, but how do i? and tell him just to invite more trouble? No thanks
That was it. She was done asking her questions, like they ever got answered, only if presenting her with more troubles was fate's only choice. She sat there in silence and didn't bother to speak a word and let the tears streak down as the cool winds of the shore flew hair her back. Yes that is what she will do, cry and cry until she couldn't cry anymore. Perhaps that was the only way to reduce the contained pain. Besides what else could she do.
Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder but she didn't bother to turn her face.
"Khushi" she had to turn now as she heard the familiar husky voice, only now filled with worry, which had replaced anger.
As she turned , to her surprise she found her so-not caring husband sitting beside her on the cool sand under the dark night and for once she could see a tint of concern in them through her blurry vision.
She was surprised he had found her, but then again he was The Arnav Sign Raizada, he could do what he wanted and he did what he wanted as he had all the power and authority he needed and more.
"How many hours?" he asked, tilting his head a bit to level it with hers while she cried more drawing patterns in the sand. His voice filled with concern.
"five'" she slowly replied. She knew this was not the point to start an argument; she really wasn't in the mood of that. Right now she just wished he disappeared so she could cry in peace at least.
To her response Arnav shook his head in disbelief. She had been crying for five hours and that too because of that freak who keeps popping every now and then. What he didn't realize was that he too was also responsible for the continuous flow of her tears.
"but you should've-" he was interrupted by her questioning eyes. She should have?? How could she! Like he would have listened to her. And its not like she was missing being in misery so she would create some more.
"pagal" he said playfully hitting her head. She was shocked. Why was he so calm? For once in his life he wasn't on the verge of exploding.
He always knew she was silly but crying this long and that too for Shyam he felt like giving her a nudge and wanted to lighten up the mood too. for once he wanted to be responsible for her smile.
She was too stressed and was already feeling too weak to think about his nonsense at this time, so she just played along.
"want some?" he asked her moving his hand towards her which held a whole pack of jalebis. With a nod she took out two jalebis and gulped down her throat. He smiled at her innocence as he knew she couldn't say no to one of these.
As she ate her jalebis she caught him staring at her and questioned "what?"
He moved closer and hugged her from the side whispering "you are so cute Khushi"
She was shocked but didn't bother to put a stop in her jalebi eating marathon.
After a while she took a break and asked, still engulfed in his arms "whats wrong with you today?" sensing the weirdness in his attitude.
"nothing, a few realizations, a few corrections'that all" he hinted not wanting to ruin the perfect moment with all the that emotional talk.
With this she understood he had realized his mistakes and maybe now she could have that perfect life where she could share her problems with her other half, and who would actually protect her like her savior and be there when she needed him. Tonight she had finally felt that contentment of being married to the right man.
This is the other OS if anyone's interested
OS: You Know It
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