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Should the cheating spouse be forgiven & accepted?

Suvj Groupbie
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Posted: 24 April 2012 at 12:51am | IP Logged
Based on a lot of discussions, the general consensus seems to be that Mona should not accept Pradeep back into her life.
 
On a more general note, I am curious and hence the question:-
 
'Should the betrayed spouse forgive and give another chance to the cheating spouse in order to give the marriage a second chance? 
 
(Only first time betrayal, if it continues, then I guess no point in staying in that marriage).
Cheating on spouse can be for any reasons, intentional, unintentional, to get attention, loneliness...etc.
 
and key word is spouse.
 


Edited by Suvj - 24 April 2012 at 2:19am

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Posted: 24 April 2012 at 1:52am | IP Logged
NEVER. It just CANNOT be forgiven according to me. Nobody can stoop down to the level as much as a cheater does.
 
W*F does the cheating spouse think??!
How can the cheater(cheating spouse) not remember the in-laws and how they send their child out of their homes with HEAPS of trust on the cheater??
Can the cheater not think of the consequences that can ruin their spouse's life?
How can anyone be so damn freaking selfish??
Who the hell gave him the permission to play with his spouse's life?
Do they not remember their wedding vows??
Was the cheater sooo ignorant when he took the wedding vows?
What was the purpose of marrying when the cheater knows he/she's gonna have to be loyal and devoted to the spouse for their ENTIRE lives and then cheat on the spouse???
Just W*F was going on his/her mind when he/she made a matrimonial alliance with not just a lady/man but a complete family?
Does the cheater not know how heart-broken and pathetic their loyal loved one would be when they find out?
The cheater can potentially just ruin his so-called spouse's life by just succumbing to some passion or whatever.
 
 
The cheaters all just look so ugly and selfish to me, they can only love themselves and the ones with whom they're cheating on, should use their brains and THINK and realise that the cheater is just a worthless selfish loser.
 
If we look from the cheater's character, I feel cheaters have no individuality. It shows how serious he has been and is at his life. It shows that he doesnt take his life seriously...because, when a person cheats, it shows that he/she just married to screw a girl/boy, and just to "fit into" the society. No one wants to remain a bachelor now do they? Wacko A cheater usually say they found their true love blah blah blah...but all that is pure bullshit. If the cheater was so intent on finding a "true love", they shouldnt have married, and should've waited for "true love"!!!!!! People who cheat, just dont take life seriously, they dont know the meaning of marriage, vows, commitment, loyalty, faith, trust, family, LOVE.
 
I pity them for being such selfish sore losers and disgust them for playing with people's lives!
 
I just dont understand why anybody has to cheat. Instead of showing passion to another woman, he can very well shower love and show some romance to his spouse who'll remain devoted to him till the end of his death. I dunno why cheaters cheat. AT ALL. It all looks so ugly to me. It's kind of scary and depressing too.  
 
Coming to people like Pradeep, IDK what to say.. a man who cannot look at his own 3 little children is worthless. I have no words, my mind goes blank. It's just depressing when I think of it.
 
 


Edited by Angel-likeDevil - 24 April 2012 at 1:54am

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Posted: 24 April 2012 at 2:06am | IP Logged
u know yest my husband and I were having discussion on the same thing...that why the hell does Mona want Pradeep back? Ok as long as it was abt teaching a lesson and making Pradeep realize where he went wrong it is fine, but y try to get him back after what he has done?

U know i guess there are 2 ways to look at it - some might say that one should do all that one can to save your marriage which may sometimes mean forgiving something like what Pradeep did and accepting him back esp if they have 3 children ...another way to look at it is cheating is cheating is cheating...period...a person who has betrayed once can do it again and u lose that trust which is the foundation of marriage and commitment...

Being married myself, my thinking is if such thing were to happen to me I would never accept back my deceitful husband...it isnt really about forgiving, coz not forgiving would probably make me only feeling worse...but certainly would move on because an extra marital affair is a strict NO for me when everything is going fine in a marriage otherwise

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Posted: 24 April 2012 at 2:24am | IP Logged
Should the spouse still not be accepted back if supposing that happened unintentionally?
 
Eg: Going through a rather low period in life, not much support from the other haf or unable to share and end up in bed with someone else. (when we are deep in emotion, logical thinking flies out of the window)
 
 
But next day, enormity of what's done hit's spouse and although can't undo past, resolves will never happen in future again?
 
what then?

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blyton

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Posted: 24 April 2012 at 2:31am | IP Logged

in my pov mona is not forgivin pradeep she is makin him realise .

and accordin to me she should do it to teach him lesson 

and  atlast when pradeep wil apologize mona should forgive and leave him and should stay happily wd her 3 kids 

cos wat pradeep did can't b forgiven 

and it shouldn b cos pradeep isn;t a kid dat he got influenced by someone dat he took such a big decision

he clearly choosed career over his wife a wife whose everythin was pradeep 

waitin for mona to become independent she has became strong now though not dat much but a lil bit js waitin for her to step in corporate world and iam sure she wil step in

maybe wd vineets help Tongue

and it would b great to c it 

and  iam likin the show even more now from yesterday's episode

mona's new avataar omg i stil can't believe  mona replied back to anushka her expressions LOL

she was so shocked LOL

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Posted: 24 April 2012 at 2:57am | IP Logged
NO! NEVER! NADA!
Once a cheater, always a cheater! It reflects on that person's personality that he/she has no morals and no sense of responsibility or respect for the sanctity of marriage! 

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pratts Senior Member
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Posted: 24 April 2012 at 3:30am | IP Logged
Once a cheater always a cheater but even then so if it was a moment of weakness just once and my spouse is really repetent, honest about it, told me immediately, I would give him a chance, I would be wary, a little guarded, the relationship would be strained, it would take a long long time but for the sake of my child and marriage I would give it a shot.  However, if it is a cheating spouse who has been cheating on me, lying to me, hiding it from me, ill treating me, and making these wrong decisions knowingly then he has to take responsiblity and he will be out of the door, no questions asked, no explanations wanted.  Thats it.  bye, bye.  Unlike Mona I would not even be interested in showing him the difference and would never stay away from my child to teach my husband a lesson.  He will learn it eventually.  There is a difference between a wife and a girlfriend, a fling, and the guy will know it eventually.  And then even if he says sorry, it will not open any doors for him.  It is done and over with, remain cordial for the sake of the kid, thats it.  That is the kind of cheater who is once a cheater always a cheater and that is not acceptable.

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Posted: 24 April 2012 at 4:52am | IP Logged
It would depend on the reason for straying. I am not married myself and have rather unconventional views about marriage, so I hope I won't get any sade-ande-tamatar for these...

1. A one-night stand might be forgiven if it was just a weak moment and the husband is suitably repentant.

2. An ongoing affair based on boredom with the marriage is a DISTRESS CALL for the marriage. It is a situation which requires professional counselling and should not be sorted out at home with well-meaning family members who might do more damage. Affter the counselling the spouse can decide whether to continue with the relationship or not.

3. If my spouse has actually developed emotional attachment to someone else...that's a tricky one. He may not be wanting to hurt me but still be unable to help those feelings. Perhaps I might talk to the third angle and try to find out what her feelings are and how deeply she is into this relationship. Perhaps it is time for me to scrutinise our marriage and see how deep the bonds really are. Just having lived with someone for years, having children and even getting habituated to someone does not necessarily equal love. There are millions of couples who do that for years and then get divorced in their 50s or 60s (if they can) or continue growling with discontent for the rest of their lives because their lifemate did not turn out to be their soulmate.
IN such a situation I might even decide to let him go because I won't want to live with someone who loves another.

My two cents; do not expect anyone to agree with me. Smile

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