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Intercaste marriages - Love with a punjabi girl

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Joined: 22 April 2012

Posts: 1

Posted: 22 April 2012 at 9:04am | IP Logged
Hi All,
I need some advise and also opinions on intercaste marriages. Let me start by telling you my story, I met a Punjabi girl on . I am marathi brahmin.We spoke on the phone for a month, as she live in Ohio and I live in NYC. After a month, actually on 11/11/2011 we met eachother. I flew to Ohio and we instantly liked eachother and fell in love. We had dates in a zoo, went out to different restaurants, spent time cooking and dancing in her kitchen, it was just so perfect and romantic. We spend the next few months talking on the phone with eachother, meeting up half way in Pennsylvania and seeing eachother every other weekend. Everything was just perfect. She was exactly the girl of my dreams and had exactly what i wanted in a girl. So I decided it was time for her to meet my parents. End of December , my family met her, my parents and grandparents loved her. My parents are brahmins which is higher caste from my gf. but they well educated and pretty advanced so they dont really care about race, religion , let alone the caste system. They only care about how the girl is and if she will make their son happy. 
In january, my gf flew over to California to speak to her parents about us. and instantly her parents disapproved of our relationship without even talking or  meeting me because i am not punjabi and from a higher caste. Everything she said was back fired because her parents didnt even try to understand her. She had told me once that her parents may not like me, but i never thought they would disapprove of us instantly without even meeting me. I dont mean to be cocky in any sense, but I come from a good family, I am educated , i have a good job at a international bank and I think i am good guy. I am not saying that her parents are bad people but they are following something that is few hundred years old and is illegal to be followed in india since caste system was banned in India. 
We decided to tell her parents that we are no longer seeing eachother to decrease their level of stress. But in April (a week ago) , my gf's sister (who i met once in California) and approves of me, told their mom about our relationship once again. Her mom freaked out and decided to come to Ohio to my gf's apt. At first, we were thinking that she was coming over here to meet me and maybe my family, but her intentions were to forbid her daughter from marrying /dating me. My gf didnt agree and further tried to convince her mother about us. Her mother talk to my mother and things went from bad to worse. Her father flew to Ohio, which initially was to meet my parents, but his intentions were to meet my parents just to say no. There are other events that happened afterwards that led my gf to the hospital. I truly just care about my gf's happiness and at this point her safety. I know i am the guy that can truly make her happy as she makes me really happy but I dont want her to be unhappy in a few years if her parents stopped talking to her . This is the decision that she has to take on her own and i know its a incredibly hard decision . I guess i have vented rather than asked a question. but my question is why is caste system still followed in this day and age? I thought we were over that whole thing , My grandpa was born in 1920s and he doesn't believe in the caste system. As Indians, we need to unite and oppose caste system . I hope things truly workout between my gf and i, but more than that I want her to be happy, even if i have to walk away from it. 
 But I hope this forum helps whoever were to read this in the future. We are humans, need to get rid of hate in this world. The only way to cure hate, discrimination and racism in this world is by injecting love and peace into people's lives. Their is so much ignorance in this world, as humans its our responsibility to make other knowledgeable . 

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Joined: 08 August 2011

Posts: 17016

Posted: 22 April 2012 at 9:50pm | IP Logged

caste systme has always been a problem 

i wonder even today people do really care bout caste and al not bout love 

anyways thing went so bad that your gf was admitted to hospital and even then her parents din agreed to get her married to you 

then dude i don't have any suggestion for you other than 

js tok to her parents properly in a neat way js let them feel how muc h you love their daughter and do everythin possible which can make then understand you love their daughter and deir daughter loves yu too 




Joined: 11 February 2007

Posts: 6448

Posted: 27 April 2012 at 1:55pm | IP Logged
Caste Is still followed In India.. What can other people do. Please don't get Influenced By what the others are saying. Just listen to your heart. I'm sure you & your GF will stay together. 

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