Chapter 5: The one with self-control
As soon as Arnav uttered those words, he regretted them. This night was already a train wreck waiting to happen. And him losing his cool wasn't the answer. He knew that he should have controlled himself, he should have continued along the line he had decided on. But still he wasn't the only one to be blamed, was he? He had come here with the impression that she wanted this as well. He had tried being the perfect gentleman, he hadn't tried anything. Heck, he hadn't even been himself, in any other circumstance he would just have applied his Raizada charm and gotten the result he expected. A totally flustered girl, who's world had been rocked (yes, he was what you call overconfident) . But tonight he had let her take the first step, at least try to take it. When she had failed miserably, he had swooped in and kissed her. What a heavenly kiss that was, but the paradise it promised was slowly slipping away from his grasp. And that was something he couldn't accept, he couldn't let her change the pretext, could he?
Even though he couldn't let this moment fade away, he couldn't let her do something she didn't want. He knew that a woman's no was no and not a yes in disguise. This lead him to once again give in and say:
"I shouldn't have snapped. What would you like to say about our second meeting? You can tell your story first this time."
"Arnav, we don't have to talk if you don't want to. We could do something else. I'm not stupid, I understand that your getting frustrated. But I would appreciate it, if you would try to control yourself."
Her last words didn't go done too well with Arnav. The smirk that had appeared when she said that they could do something else vanished at an instance, the rapidity confused his own face. Was this girl for real? Was she really that clueless, he had struggled the whole night to control himself.
"Khushi, are you intentionally trying to screw my head? Because that's not what I had in mind, I was under the impression that we were going to screw each other, not our minds. I have tried to control myself the entire evening, and you have the nerve to ask me that. If you don't want this just say so, and let me out of my misery!" he finally screamed at her.
With anger written on Khushi's face she started to speak: "Hold your horses, Raizada. If this is you controlling yourself, I guess I must thank Devi Maiya for not getting the untamed and unleashed version of you. I have never said that I don't want this. It was I who asked you to come here, remember? It's just that I'm a bit nervous. Doesn't a girl have a right to be that? I was just trying to cool my nerves, but if you can't wait, maybe we should just get at it then? How would you like to start should I remove my clothes?
Her little monologue didn't help her calm down. She thought to herself that she was ready to kill this idiot in front of her. Couldn't he understand that this was a big deal for her. This wasn't exactly how she had planned on loosing her virginity. His silence just made her even angrier. She would kill him, that's right. He was annoying beyond comprehension, so she would just have to kill him. But a part of her, didn't want to hurt him. To her own surprise that part of her, was telling her that as she was getting angrier, she was also getting turned on. The wish to kill him, was now being exchanged by the wish to take him. Did she really think take him, Khushi get a grip. If anyone is going to take someone, it's more likely that he takes you then you him. How do you even take a guy?
She asked the same question again: "Should I remove my clothes?" But this time it wasn't out of pure anger, this time she perhaps wanted to remove her clothes. No, not really, she wanted him to strip her of her garments. Just thinking about it, made her blush profoundly. She had become quite a "besharam" over the last months in Delhi,
"Khushi, just stop. Don't try to make me the bad guy. I never said or did anything that should give you the impression that I don't want you to take your time. I am happy with you setting the pace. It's just as you said, a girl has a right to be nervous. A boy has a right to feel his natural urges and because you are undeniably beautiful it's hard to resist you. On top of that, your ignorance of that fact, makes you unbelievably sexy. I am a mere mortal, you can't expect me to be without fault."
"Okay, now that we have settled on the fact that I am a girl and you are a boy. Maybe we can act accordingly? Why don't you do what you usually do in a situation like this?"
Arnav couldn't help smiling, this girl was a complete puzzle, one moment she was angry, then understanding and now ready to go. This night was going to be a roller-coaster ride, he just knew it. A ride he would thoroughly enjoy. He walked closer to her and for the first time he looked at her, really looked at her. He saw what she was wearing, it was a yellow colored summer dress that was knee high. She had brown sandals, with no heel, on her adorably small feet. Her hair was let loose, and the make-up was hardily distinguishable. Her eyes were watching him, shyly and almost expectantly. Her cheeks were the most colorful on her. He wanted to unbutton her dress and get to see the treasures that lay beneath it, but most of all he wanted her to feel comfortable. And the only way he could see that being possible was if he was the woundable one.
And with that resolution he spoke:
"Khushi, I don't think you should remove your clothes. I want you to look at me instead. Touch my, examine me and undress me."
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